(no subject)
when i woke up this morning, i said to myself
"Rob, you haven't made a complete and utter fool of yourself in a long time. Get on that."
so naturally you can understand my elation and joy when kristen invited me to go ice skating with her and her friends. Not only did i have the perfect opportunity to make a complete and utter fool out myself but i also, if i was lucky, had the opportunity to injure myself too. oh happy day. right from the begining i knew the day was going to surpass all my expectations. Right after getting off the phone with Kristen, i spent 15 minutes looking for my right shoe, which turned out to be in mike's bed....with mike....don't ask. then i grabbed my jacket and went downstairs. My next move was to lead the way on to the bus. that didn't go where we wanted. oops. EVENTUALLY we get to the rink and walk in and wait for half an hour in two long lines. I was very impatient, because this was, after all, my first time skating EVER, and therefore the perfect opportunity to embarrass myself publicly. So i get the royal blue rental skates (embarrassment starting) and strap em on. Then i follow everyone out on to the ice. It started out pretty sucky with no opportunity to injure and humiliate myself at all because i had a girl on each arm and two behind me. it was awful. luckily for me the three laps we did in this manner took about ten minutes and were probably quite amusing for the girls. If you've ever seen a newborn deer trying to walk, or a giraffe if you prefer, then you've seen the only creatures on the planet more graceful than rob on ice.
then came the moment i had been waiting for. the girls had gradually drifted off and i was accompanied by only one now. she asked if i was ready to try it on my own. why not, i thought, this will be my chance.
sadly it was not to be.
while i'm still no more graceful than little bambi i simply didn't fall. Not once.
well
one time i was crashed into by some guy trying to show off. and another time kristen thought it would be a good idea to tickle me. but i maintain that neither of these were my fault and therefore can not be called falls. i was the victim. By the end of the hour, i was almost as graceful as jess with tea and some peanut butter in her hands.
but not quite.
Eventually we all got tired and called it a day. i was very dissapointed that i had no made a complete and utter fool out of myself, but the day was not a total loss. In playing an intense game of ping pong with kristen i managed to tweak my achilles tendon (ironic after having watched troy the night before) and when she tickled me on the ice, i managed to pop it i think. i mean clealy i didn't actually do that because it would hurt more and i wouldn't have been able to keep skating. but it still hurts. at least i took kristen down with me and now she has a big bruise on her knee. actually, on second thought, i kinda feel bad about that. sigh. oh well.
to sum it all up, there was no complete and utter humiliation but there was injury and feeling bad about giving a girl a bruise. luckily there's always tomorow night, when i will do the same thing i do every night
try to take over the world
"Rob, you haven't made a complete and utter fool of yourself in a long time. Get on that."
so naturally you can understand my elation and joy when kristen invited me to go ice skating with her and her friends. Not only did i have the perfect opportunity to make a complete and utter fool out myself but i also, if i was lucky, had the opportunity to injure myself too. oh happy day. right from the begining i knew the day was going to surpass all my expectations. Right after getting off the phone with Kristen, i spent 15 minutes looking for my right shoe, which turned out to be in mike's bed....with mike....don't ask. then i grabbed my jacket and went downstairs. My next move was to lead the way on to the bus. that didn't go where we wanted. oops. EVENTUALLY we get to the rink and walk in and wait for half an hour in two long lines. I was very impatient, because this was, after all, my first time skating EVER, and therefore the perfect opportunity to embarrass myself publicly. So i get the royal blue rental skates (embarrassment starting) and strap em on. Then i follow everyone out on to the ice. It started out pretty sucky with no opportunity to injure and humiliate myself at all because i had a girl on each arm and two behind me. it was awful. luckily for me the three laps we did in this manner took about ten minutes and were probably quite amusing for the girls. If you've ever seen a newborn deer trying to walk, or a giraffe if you prefer, then you've seen the only creatures on the planet more graceful than rob on ice.
then came the moment i had been waiting for. the girls had gradually drifted off and i was accompanied by only one now. she asked if i was ready to try it on my own. why not, i thought, this will be my chance.
sadly it was not to be.
while i'm still no more graceful than little bambi i simply didn't fall. Not once.
well
one time i was crashed into by some guy trying to show off. and another time kristen thought it would be a good idea to tickle me. but i maintain that neither of these were my fault and therefore can not be called falls. i was the victim. By the end of the hour, i was almost as graceful as jess with tea and some peanut butter in her hands.
but not quite.
Eventually we all got tired and called it a day. i was very dissapointed that i had no made a complete and utter fool out of myself, but the day was not a total loss. In playing an intense game of ping pong with kristen i managed to tweak my achilles tendon (ironic after having watched troy the night before) and when she tickled me on the ice, i managed to pop it i think. i mean clealy i didn't actually do that because it would hurt more and i wouldn't have been able to keep skating. but it still hurts. at least i took kristen down with me and now she has a big bruise on her knee. actually, on second thought, i kinda feel bad about that. sigh. oh well.
to sum it all up, there was no complete and utter humiliation but there was injury and feeling bad about giving a girl a bruise. luckily there's always tomorow night, when i will do the same thing i do every night
try to take over the world