WisCon Sunday
I had an illuminating conversation with a young transgendered fellow up in the Con Suite just now. I had no idea that testosterone was the biggest obstacle to changing from male to female--that its strong influence can keep a new-made woman from "passing" as one. I messed up the pronoun on Friday with someone who may not realize that she didn't pass with me because I am 1) an artist, trained to use subtle cues in facial features to depict gender in my work and 2) spent most of the 80's with a butch haircut and boy clothes. My teenaged self wanted to hide my gender and nature from the world, not create another image of myself for it, but the outer effect was the same, and I certainly got good at spotting others trying on the same costume from either gender direction.
For me, the whole world of sex change and transgendering is a new, open sea, and I will probably flounder in it for a while. But as with gay/bi issues, I'm still so far out of the fray that I can really only cheer my friends on from the sidelines. It's easy, nowadays, to be bi-identified in a straight monogamous relationship. Nobody cares, in fact, because there you are, going along, lookin' all normal. It's so peaceful.
That same restfulness is what I seek to help create for everyone near me who is just different, as I have been for so long in other circles--in my case I stood out because I was tall, or smart, or loud, or artistic, whatever was odd in my school, or university, or new town. Now I live in a place where people listen when I open my opinionated female mouth to speak, nod when I say I'm an artist, and don't blink when I refer to my stepdaughter's mom's ex-wife. One day, perhaps, none of us will blink if my stepdaughter brings home her beautiful transgendered African-American girlfriend. That's what I'm aiming for, anyway, and my fellow WisCon folk are helping. Thanks!
For me, the whole world of sex change and transgendering is a new, open sea, and I will probably flounder in it for a while. But as with gay/bi issues, I'm still so far out of the fray that I can really only cheer my friends on from the sidelines. It's easy, nowadays, to be bi-identified in a straight monogamous relationship. Nobody cares, in fact, because there you are, going along, lookin' all normal. It's so peaceful.
That same restfulness is what I seek to help create for everyone near me who is just different, as I have been for so long in other circles--in my case I stood out because I was tall, or smart, or loud, or artistic, whatever was odd in my school, or university, or new town. Now I live in a place where people listen when I open my opinionated female mouth to speak, nod when I say I'm an artist, and don't blink when I refer to my stepdaughter's mom's ex-wife. One day, perhaps, none of us will blink if my stepdaughter brings home her beautiful transgendered African-American girlfriend. That's what I'm aiming for, anyway, and my fellow WisCon folk are helping. Thanks!