Another long ranting session
Ok, so before I say anything else I gotta say the tell the funniest thing in the world... I've been running my air-conditioner for like 3 days straight, and came in just now and hear all this water sound... I just looked and there are actual ice cycles running down the thing. There's big hunks of ice one the filter part in all... I put it on high fan to defrost and ice hunks keep chucking out. It's great!!
Ok, so I just had a huge spert of energy and needed to waist it.. So I went on a drive to God know's where and all got lost. In the mean time though I figured some things out. First off, deer attempt suicide... As do Possums... Only the possum succeeded... The deer I missed. Billy Corgan is a sell out... And as odd as it is I almost feel betrayed by his new found salvation. Not that he found Christ... But he was this really deep cat... Then he finds this statue christ that's too far for even the crazy baptist and suddenly looses touch with anything of value. I mean most of his stuff before was madd existential, but at least it was true. I don't know.
For some reason I'm in some sort of really wierd funk. There's this book "henderson, the rain king" and it's about this guy who's all sorts of fucked up and goes in search of salvation in africa. In the process all he does is destroy everything he touches and turns into a pariah of his own creating. This has been me of sorts the past like week. Ever since I got back from Ohio. I just feel like everything is wrong... Like with me... But I can't pin down what. All day I've been walking around with anxiety, but I don't know why. Partly it may be that I gotta go to a job tomorrow that I fucking hate.. LOL I think I'm just gonna quit and not go in. I'm such a quiter.
Recently I've been trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with school. Undergrad I couldn't care less about, and I'm not sure how post-grad's gonna pan out. I was thinking maybe seminary, just cause I could really use a strong biblical background as a whole... But then I hate the church with a passion as it is, that could go no where but down. And seriously all they attempt to do is instatutionalize people into their thinking. Maybe I'de be better to do that on my own. I've got ample tools to do it, but I have no ability to stick to that type of shit by myself. Maybe I'll just move to Bali and be a wandering philosopher there.
On the bright side Raquel is moving back home... I kinda feel like shit about that too cuase she's coming back on quazi-bad terms and I know she feels like shit about it. LOL I left a message for her today saying "Sorry, but if it makes it any better I'm pretty happy about it." Some how I doubt that makes it any better.
Aight now that I've ranted long enought that it's not gonna get read.... (LOL That may be better) I'm out.
By the way, there's still icecycles on the airconditioner... I wish I had hecs cam to take pictures.
Ok, so I just had a huge spert of energy and needed to waist it.. So I went on a drive to God know's where and all got lost. In the mean time though I figured some things out. First off, deer attempt suicide... As do Possums... Only the possum succeeded... The deer I missed. Billy Corgan is a sell out... And as odd as it is I almost feel betrayed by his new found salvation. Not that he found Christ... But he was this really deep cat... Then he finds this statue christ that's too far for even the crazy baptist and suddenly looses touch with anything of value. I mean most of his stuff before was madd existential, but at least it was true. I don't know.
For some reason I'm in some sort of really wierd funk. There's this book "henderson, the rain king" and it's about this guy who's all sorts of fucked up and goes in search of salvation in africa. In the process all he does is destroy everything he touches and turns into a pariah of his own creating. This has been me of sorts the past like week. Ever since I got back from Ohio. I just feel like everything is wrong... Like with me... But I can't pin down what. All day I've been walking around with anxiety, but I don't know why. Partly it may be that I gotta go to a job tomorrow that I fucking hate.. LOL I think I'm just gonna quit and not go in. I'm such a quiter.
Recently I've been trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with school. Undergrad I couldn't care less about, and I'm not sure how post-grad's gonna pan out. I was thinking maybe seminary, just cause I could really use a strong biblical background as a whole... But then I hate the church with a passion as it is, that could go no where but down. And seriously all they attempt to do is instatutionalize people into their thinking. Maybe I'de be better to do that on my own. I've got ample tools to do it, but I have no ability to stick to that type of shit by myself. Maybe I'll just move to Bali and be a wandering philosopher there.
On the bright side Raquel is moving back home... I kinda feel like shit about that too cuase she's coming back on quazi-bad terms and I know she feels like shit about it. LOL I left a message for her today saying "Sorry, but if it makes it any better I'm pretty happy about it." Some how I doubt that makes it any better.
Aight now that I've ranted long enought that it's not gonna get read.... (LOL That may be better) I'm out.
By the way, there's still icecycles on the airconditioner... I wish I had hecs cam to take pictures.