There are some days--such as yesterday, and a brief moment this morning--when I find myself in a state of disbelief. For the past four months and 17 days, my days have seemed to drift away and come at me with an unbearable ferocity all at once: the repetitiveness of taking care of a baby lulls me into a sense of surrealism, whilst the demanding ( Read more... )

I had some white wine with E and his housemate last night while watching a film called Clemency. I don’t know if it was the wine, or the fact that I hadn’t been drinking very much at all; but two glasses of it caused my entire body to flush a bright red and some parts of it to itch. My desperately drinking copious amounts of water to stave off the ( Read more... )

I haven't blogged very much these days because there's only so much writing I can do in a day: the PhD (let's not talk about this), and the Daredevil fanfic that began as a fantasy that I indulge in, a story that I spin in my mind, before I fall asleep (I have been doing this since I was a kid), and which has since assumed a life of its own. It's ( Read more... )

This burgeoning habit that I have of engaging less and less with my thoughts--that is, by writing them down--is rather worrying. It has come to be such a fundamental part of myself that surrendering to the laziness night after night may very well come to have rather deleterious effects on my sense of self and identity. (This, it must be said, ( Read more... )

It's been something like 9 days and my knee still hasn't recovered. It pains and shames me considerably to say that I have not taken this tiny injury well at all. Instead of focusing on the positives--or rather, the positive fact that it's not anything worse than a bruise--I'm focusing on all the negatives, like I always do. Such as: it's been more ( Read more... )

A few days ago, E said that he might--emphasis on might, and it was a very remote might--have a job offer in Paris; what did I think of it ( Read more... )

My writing; so lazy! If there were to be one particular cause for the failure that is my life, it would, without a shadow of a doubt, be my laziness; and with that, my chronic lack of self-discipline. It is staggering that I have written only two entries this month; and I have no other excuse other than my laziness ( Read more... )

I am getting really lazy with the writing. Not just in this LJ, but in general. After a brief bout of productivity, I am back to my old ways of procrastinating, putting things off, opting for the mentally less demanding option of reading or, worse, watching something on Netflix (that said, Daredevil is almost as good as any halfway decent novel). ( Read more... )

I have not been writing in here very much, have I ( Read more... )

My resolve to submit one of the pieces that I wrote about Never Again to a rather reputable London-based literary journal did not last long. Perhaps it is the fatigue that I have felt for the whole day after a too-early start to the day: tennis at 8am at Paddington Recreation Grounds with someone who turned out to have also just left Cambridge, a ( Read more... )