A letter To Ziti: because science must prevail
Date: Oct 30, 2007 8:55 PM
Subject: hello old friend
Body:
dear andrea,
you suck.
love, ziti
p.s. congrats on the baby, and HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!?!?!
Date: Dec 11, 2007 3:20 PM
Subject:
Re:hello old friend
Body:
Dearest Mr. Vucci
I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear from you, but I am afraid I must correct you as to a matter of misinformation contained in your previous correspondence dated 10-30-07. In that letter, you had stated that I "suck." This is plainly a misstatement of fact as numerous documented reports and eyewitness accounts will support, I am, in fact, AWESOME!
In April of 2007 there was a double blind study conducted at The University of California, Berkeley in which it was found overwhelmingly that, not only was I awesome (see above) but that I had charted so high on the Awesome Scale/Rad Index that the current equipment used to measure such things was deemed inadequate, being wholly unable even to handle the extent of my particular degree of awesome and thereby ceremoniously refusing to assist in any further testing. The machinery was quoted as saying "My work is completed; My life's mission, fulfilled"
If you are interested in more information, visit your local library where you will find exhaustive volumes compiled on the subject of my awesomeness, both as a phenomenon and as a utopian model for future civilizations.
We thank you for your attention in this matter.
Andrea
p.s. -- check out the little fella:
Subject: hello old friend
Body:
dear andrea,
you suck.
love, ziti
p.s. congrats on the baby, and HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!?!?!
Date: Dec 11, 2007 3:20 PM
Subject:
Re:hello old friend
Body:
Dearest Mr. Vucci
I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear from you, but I am afraid I must correct you as to a matter of misinformation contained in your previous correspondence dated 10-30-07. In that letter, you had stated that I "suck." This is plainly a misstatement of fact as numerous documented reports and eyewitness accounts will support, I am, in fact, AWESOME!
In April of 2007 there was a double blind study conducted at The University of California, Berkeley in which it was found overwhelmingly that, not only was I awesome (see above) but that I had charted so high on the Awesome Scale/Rad Index that the current equipment used to measure such things was deemed inadequate, being wholly unable even to handle the extent of my particular degree of awesome and thereby ceremoniously refusing to assist in any further testing. The machinery was quoted as saying "My work is completed; My life's mission, fulfilled"
If you are interested in more information, visit your local library where you will find exhaustive volumes compiled on the subject of my awesomeness, both as a phenomenon and as a utopian model for future civilizations.
We thank you for your attention in this matter.
Andrea
p.s. -- check out the little fella:
Click to view