(no subject)
omg I'm so ashamed of myself
I was going so strong
with nothing to eat
it help when your best-friend
is starving beside you
her tummy growling
puking cause she just can't handle it anymore
so I wok up at 12am and haven't slept sense
her and I staring into the ceiling
when our tummies intertwined in growls
I was in such pain
reminds me that i'm doing ok
till I just couldn't do it
my MS pains kicked in
spasms
migraine
dizzy from dehydration
so I kissed her forehead and her mom drove me home at 5am
so soon as I got home I planned on taking a advil extra strength, healing pad and a big glass of water and go to sleep
nope walked in and food
food was everywhere
looked like my parents were storing food like squirrels
it was all the food from downstairs that my nana and granddad had
before he past away
so my mother I'm guessing decided to go through it and keep what she could for my nana
I lost it
I haven't binged like that in so fucking long
last time I binged like that was when I was purging all the time
It was like someone sat you down in a grocery store and said you can eat as much as you want
no charge but you have only 10 minutes go
I feel ok though
my migraine gone and i'm no longer dizzy and my I'm thinking coherently again
I'v been eating so little that I forgot that at brenna there's like no food at all
and yucky tap water
brenna is dieing
I always have my eating disorder under-control
I never go under 88 if i do I eat to gain it back
but brenna isn't doing it to be skinny
she is sad, ill and so stressed that her body is rejecting it and has gotten used to not eating for long periods of time.
also her mom as much as she is a sweet loving lady is a drunk
we all know it
but brenna showed me her stash of booze in box in the spare room
it just a punch in the face uno
her sister is also sweet heart that just gets in trouble with many things
there brenna is fading away and i'm doing everything I can think off to get her to eat
I know sometime people just caring about you who isn't family can motivate more
moment like that i wish we bother were normal and didn't have Eating disorders and weren't ill from disease. I blame most of her problem on oxycoton and pat traumatic events. I wish there was more I could do
but we promised each other that we hang out we will eat together
she did get down at least 19 crackers
by the way her mom isn't a bad mom
she loves her
cares for her
works long shift to support her
and she's very ill
there thinking cancer
she's still working the long hours.
the booze get the best of her.
Behind a lj cut I'll post my binge food
I ate
A brownie, a carrot muffin
3 granola bars
5 cookies
A package of turkey slice meat
10 crackers
3 stick of cheese
4 glasses of milk
ketchup
10 pickles
I'm suck a pig
I was going so strong
with nothing to eat
it help when your best-friend
is starving beside you
her tummy growling
puking cause she just can't handle it anymore
so I wok up at 12am and haven't slept sense
her and I staring into the ceiling
when our tummies intertwined in growls
I was in such pain
reminds me that i'm doing ok
till I just couldn't do it
my MS pains kicked in
spasms
migraine
dizzy from dehydration
so I kissed her forehead and her mom drove me home at 5am
so soon as I got home I planned on taking a advil extra strength, healing pad and a big glass of water and go to sleep
nope walked in and food
food was everywhere
looked like my parents were storing food like squirrels
it was all the food from downstairs that my nana and granddad had
before he past away
so my mother I'm guessing decided to go through it and keep what she could for my nana
I lost it
I haven't binged like that in so fucking long
last time I binged like that was when I was purging all the time
It was like someone sat you down in a grocery store and said you can eat as much as you want
no charge but you have only 10 minutes go
I feel ok though
my migraine gone and i'm no longer dizzy and my I'm thinking coherently again
I'v been eating so little that I forgot that at brenna there's like no food at all
and yucky tap water
brenna is dieing
I always have my eating disorder under-control
I never go under 88 if i do I eat to gain it back
but brenna isn't doing it to be skinny
she is sad, ill and so stressed that her body is rejecting it and has gotten used to not eating for long periods of time.
also her mom as much as she is a sweet loving lady is a drunk
we all know it
but brenna showed me her stash of booze in box in the spare room
it just a punch in the face uno
her sister is also sweet heart that just gets in trouble with many things
there brenna is fading away and i'm doing everything I can think off to get her to eat
I know sometime people just caring about you who isn't family can motivate more
moment like that i wish we bother were normal and didn't have Eating disorders and weren't ill from disease. I blame most of her problem on oxycoton and pat traumatic events. I wish there was more I could do
but we promised each other that we hang out we will eat together
she did get down at least 19 crackers
by the way her mom isn't a bad mom
she loves her
cares for her
works long shift to support her
and she's very ill
there thinking cancer
she's still working the long hours.
the booze get the best of her.
Behind a lj cut I'll post my binge food
I ate
A brownie, a carrot muffin
3 granola bars
5 cookies
A package of turkey slice meat
10 crackers
3 stick of cheese
4 glasses of milk
ketchup
10 pickles
I'm suck a pig