*sigh*
Hey there, so lately I have been feeling so confused and alone.. and I feel like I have no one to talk to so I decided what best way to let out my feelings that to write it here.. so I broke up with Ben in May truthfully it was a mix of alot of things that caused it to end but lately it hasn't been easy I mean we were together almost 3 years and I was deeply in love with him but I wasn't happy and I don't regret braking up with him but he won't leave me alone, the other day I finally went to visit him for the last time at his house and omg was that difficult, being there brought so much memories like I felt my heart falling into a million pieces and he actually wrote me a 8 page letter that was so heart braking.. goodness so Ben hasn't been the only reason on why I've been feeling like I have it's a mix of so many things, like being back at my moms don't get me wrong I love her alot but I just feel like I walk on eggshells all day long like I have to cater to her every need and it doesn't help that she's always bringing up the past and her new thing is saying how me and my sister hate her and how we're always criticizing her omg.. another thing is I barely have a job I mean i work at bath and body works one day a week and I take care my sister kids from 7-6 monday thru friday for only $100 a week, I can't pay my phone bill this month or insurance I'm withdrawn in the bank, I owe a ticket.. I feel so lost and worthless.. I have new friends which I'm glad but I did the mistake of sleeping with one of them and getting all emotionally involved and he doesn't want to be with me because he doesn't want to lose his friendship and that really has taken a toll on me because I feel like he's playing me all though he tells me he isn't I can't take in the fact that someone just doesn't want to be with me though he said he does but the ppl I have talk to say that's a lame excuse grr it's so aggravating and it's even more aggravating that it has to be kept a secret that no one can know.. Idk today has been one of my better days but seriously I think I need some psychological help..