Confusing day.
I think the bloke may have taken some advice from a friend who knows their shit. He's being very nice to me and seems to be trying his best to sort things out between us so that we can at least be civil to each other.
He texted this morning to ask how I was, and since he was asking nicely and not being a twat about it, I didn't want to just ignore him - I figure it's better to try and reward the good things and I do appreciate his effort. So I emailed him an update. He told me he was off work because two of the kids are poorly. One of them is the one I've always said is not my favourite (he is!) and when he heard that his dad was talking to me he demanded to speak to me too.
So when I took my lunch break, I called up and spoke to my favourite little monkey. He's a little gem, and so lovely. When he said goodbye he said "love you bye!" and I nearly cried. Two of the other kids were off school too so I spoke to them, and promised to bring them pictures to colour in. Then I spoke to the bloke. I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. At one point he even said he was sorry - the first time I can ever recall him saying sorry, for anything!
So we chatted a bit, and emailed back and forth over the afternoon. He says his main aim is to get me back, in one way or another, and his main concern is me and the baby. I wasn't easy on him. I told him I didn't appreciate his behaviour, and that there was no chance of us even being friends if he didn't admit to his problems and start dealing with them. This was met with silence, rather than a torrent of abuse - which is in itself a great improvement!
When I got home I had a text saying "so putting it simply, what is my problem?" I nearly fell over. I sent him a massive text back and expected at least one bitchy text in return but his response was that he recognised that he had issues and would go to the doctor and see if he could get some counselling for it. He said that he thought I had issues too and asked me to take on board the email he sent me yesterday. I figured I can't very well be sending him off to sort his shit out if I don't at least consider the things he's saying to me. So I said I will talk about it when I go back to counselling - which I have to do now I'm off the head meds.
I feel like I need to keep reminding myself of the way he was last week, and other times when he's been horrible - but on the other hand, I kind of don't want to keep punishing him for it, if he's genuinely accepting that there's a problem and trying to do something about it then I feel I should try and encourage that and not keep bringing up his faults.
I've told him at the moment there is no chance of us getting back together, and it might never happen; that we need to just take it slow and see what happens. I told him that I don't want to block him out or not have him involved but I can't have him being the way he has lately.
I do feel a lot more calm about things now that he's being a bit nicer about everything, but I'm also nervous that it's all going to kick off again any minute. I suppose it's still early days, and all that I can do is wait and see what happens...
He texted this morning to ask how I was, and since he was asking nicely and not being a twat about it, I didn't want to just ignore him - I figure it's better to try and reward the good things and I do appreciate his effort. So I emailed him an update. He told me he was off work because two of the kids are poorly. One of them is the one I've always said is not my favourite (he is!) and when he heard that his dad was talking to me he demanded to speak to me too.
So when I took my lunch break, I called up and spoke to my favourite little monkey. He's a little gem, and so lovely. When he said goodbye he said "love you bye!" and I nearly cried. Two of the other kids were off school too so I spoke to them, and promised to bring them pictures to colour in. Then I spoke to the bloke. I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. At one point he even said he was sorry - the first time I can ever recall him saying sorry, for anything!
So we chatted a bit, and emailed back and forth over the afternoon. He says his main aim is to get me back, in one way or another, and his main concern is me and the baby. I wasn't easy on him. I told him I didn't appreciate his behaviour, and that there was no chance of us even being friends if he didn't admit to his problems and start dealing with them. This was met with silence, rather than a torrent of abuse - which is in itself a great improvement!
When I got home I had a text saying "so putting it simply, what is my problem?" I nearly fell over. I sent him a massive text back and expected at least one bitchy text in return but his response was that he recognised that he had issues and would go to the doctor and see if he could get some counselling for it. He said that he thought I had issues too and asked me to take on board the email he sent me yesterday. I figured I can't very well be sending him off to sort his shit out if I don't at least consider the things he's saying to me. So I said I will talk about it when I go back to counselling - which I have to do now I'm off the head meds.
I feel like I need to keep reminding myself of the way he was last week, and other times when he's been horrible - but on the other hand, I kind of don't want to keep punishing him for it, if he's genuinely accepting that there's a problem and trying to do something about it then I feel I should try and encourage that and not keep bringing up his faults.
I've told him at the moment there is no chance of us getting back together, and it might never happen; that we need to just take it slow and see what happens. I told him that I don't want to block him out or not have him involved but I can't have him being the way he has lately.
I do feel a lot more calm about things now that he's being a bit nicer about everything, but I'm also nervous that it's all going to kick off again any minute. I suppose it's still early days, and all that I can do is wait and see what happens...