Gah! Paperwork!
So it's like mad-counterintuitive to post instead of actually going to sleep, but I can not figure out why I can't manage to get to sleep by midnight or thereabouts. It's like I feel like I have every under control and ready to be taken care of and POOF, it's midnight and I still have five things to do before I get to sleep.
I don't know, it's not like I'm mad busy or anything, but it feels like I am and like I don't have time to sit down and think things through and make sure I'm doing things as they should be. I need to decide if I want to work at the Vocare retreat in October, and that's really something I need to sit down and pray about and listen to what comes, and I just can't figure out when this is going to happen. I keep feeling like I'm behind in my studying, and I realise that part of this is because I'm coming back to school and not quite used to it, but I'm still behind. And this is without an additional job. How am I going to get it all straightened out when I have a job added in?
I have characters at FH who have barely seen the light of day in weeks because I haven't felt like I'll be around to finish scenes, and when I do have time, I reach for the ones whose voices come easiest right now because it's just easier to write without thinking about. Which is fine, I suppose, but I miss playing the others and the people I get to play with.
Not to mention that somehow every single one of my weekends through the end of October has seemed to have gotten filled up. Which...how does that happen? Very few of the things are even social engagements. Just family stuff and three weekends for Vocare if I do it and boo. I disapprove.
It's just adjustment needed. The adjustment going from a job with regular hours to most of a summer without much to do beyond looking (fruitlessly obviously) for a job to starting a heavy load of classes in an area that I'm having to learn the language of as well as the subject matter. And I didn't expect it to come immediately, and while the classes aren't overwhelming in themselves, it just the time issue and the fact that I need to figure out how to handle it.
But gah, that's not making it easier right now. And my apartment is a mess, and my costume bag is still packed from Dragon*Con which only adds to the fact that my mind feels like it's running in circles without ever actually accomplishing something. I spent most of yesterday evening at a coffee shop and was amazed to realise how much I got done. Obviously I need to keep that up. Maybe once I can spend some time organsing and cleaning, I'll be able to jump back into studying at home without a problem, but for now my brain is so a) attention split between the cats and getting up to get something to drink or lunch and on and on and b) running in circles about how I need to clean and organise and how this would be all easier if I could manage to do that and bah.
I did do well and make myself dinner tonight though because class got out half an hour early. Slow baked salmon (it's almost basically planked only with a baking sheet), brown rice, and salad. Plus I have sweet potatoes in my fridge that will be chunked up and added to the salmon salad that will be lunch. This? Is kinda the best thing ever. Salmon, sweet potatoes and brown rice. Three of my absolute favourite foods. If I was completely stuffed from dinner, I would be making myself hungry.
And today was a gorgeous, gorgeous day that almost felt like fall. I approve.
And now it is 12:40 and I need to read another chapter in my Ethics book. Which leaves me with reading done for two of my classes for tomorrow. Out of four. *sigh*
I don't know, it's not like I'm mad busy or anything, but it feels like I am and like I don't have time to sit down and think things through and make sure I'm doing things as they should be. I need to decide if I want to work at the Vocare retreat in October, and that's really something I need to sit down and pray about and listen to what comes, and I just can't figure out when this is going to happen. I keep feeling like I'm behind in my studying, and I realise that part of this is because I'm coming back to school and not quite used to it, but I'm still behind. And this is without an additional job. How am I going to get it all straightened out when I have a job added in?
I have characters at FH who have barely seen the light of day in weeks because I haven't felt like I'll be around to finish scenes, and when I do have time, I reach for the ones whose voices come easiest right now because it's just easier to write without thinking about. Which is fine, I suppose, but I miss playing the others and the people I get to play with.
Not to mention that somehow every single one of my weekends through the end of October has seemed to have gotten filled up. Which...how does that happen? Very few of the things are even social engagements. Just family stuff and three weekends for Vocare if I do it and boo. I disapprove.
It's just adjustment needed. The adjustment going from a job with regular hours to most of a summer without much to do beyond looking (fruitlessly obviously) for a job to starting a heavy load of classes in an area that I'm having to learn the language of as well as the subject matter. And I didn't expect it to come immediately, and while the classes aren't overwhelming in themselves, it just the time issue and the fact that I need to figure out how to handle it.
But gah, that's not making it easier right now. And my apartment is a mess, and my costume bag is still packed from Dragon*Con which only adds to the fact that my mind feels like it's running in circles without ever actually accomplishing something. I spent most of yesterday evening at a coffee shop and was amazed to realise how much I got done. Obviously I need to keep that up. Maybe once I can spend some time organsing and cleaning, I'll be able to jump back into studying at home without a problem, but for now my brain is so a) attention split between the cats and getting up to get something to drink or lunch and on and on and b) running in circles about how I need to clean and organise and how this would be all easier if I could manage to do that and bah.
I did do well and make myself dinner tonight though because class got out half an hour early. Slow baked salmon (it's almost basically planked only with a baking sheet), brown rice, and salad. Plus I have sweet potatoes in my fridge that will be chunked up and added to the salmon salad that will be lunch. This? Is kinda the best thing ever. Salmon, sweet potatoes and brown rice. Three of my absolute favourite foods. If I was completely stuffed from dinner, I would be making myself hungry.
And today was a gorgeous, gorgeous day that almost felt like fall. I approve.
And now it is 12:40 and I need to read another chapter in my Ethics book. Which leaves me with reading done for two of my classes for tomorrow. Out of four. *sigh*