Amanda ::hearts:: Jason
On the main page of LJ, they have two links to a "love story". The links are here and here. It's not exactly my story, but it brings back a great deal of memories. I'm not sure if I've ever told the story here. I give people a very abbreviated version of it when I'm asked. Very few people know the full story. I'm feeling nostalgic, so I'll relate what I can here.
In the fall of 1999, I missed an episode of Angel. It was a brand new show at the time, and I was crushed that I had already missed one. I posted a short message on a Buffy message board, asking if anyone could send me a copy on a VHS tape. One person replied and kindly offered to help. I tried to send money to pay for the tape, postage, and bubble envelope, but my helper would have none of it. I got the tape in the mail four days later. The return address was to a fellow named Jason in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I e-mailed him and thanked him for helping me. He e-mailed me back, and we started talking about Buffy and Angel.
Within two months, the e-mails were monstrously long, and we were talking about our lives instead of television shows. In fact, the e-mails were so long that AOL would not accept them. We had to break them into two e-mails: part 1 and part 2. We would occasionally speak by instant message, but it was mostly e-mails. Advice was given and taken, but no romance crept into these long letters. And, looking back, he sure was a wonderful listener.
By the time 2001 rolled around, I was in a very bad place emotionally. I was depressed and unhappy with the direction my life was going. I began second-guessing myself in regards to many things, including my major in college. I was working a tedious and stressful job in a law firm during my free time. I escaped to an even worse position that summer, working for the Department of Transportation. Interns certainly do get stepped on in a government office. I remember that summer as being the worst of my life. I felt like I was smothering. It was so horrible that I stopped talking to my e-pen-pal. I had been avoiding him for months, since the beginning of the year, actually. He made an effort to talk to me by instant messages, but I blocked him because I really didn't feel like talking about much of anything.
September rolled around, and I decided to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I went back to school, got a job working at Ticketmaster in my free time, and decided that a major change wasn't possible with only two semesters of college remaining.
By then, I felt bad for ignoring such a wonderful friend online, and I thought of him when I saw my dad's new webcam sitting atop his computer monitor. Jason had never seen me. Actually, none of my internet friends had seen me. I was feeling pretty snazzy with my new glasses and haircut. So, I took a picture of myself and e-mailed it to him. When I opened my e-mail the next day, he had responded. I wish I had saved that e-mail, but at the time, I didn't think anything of it. Hindsight really is 20/20. I do remember that he sent my self esteem through the roof. He declared that I was gorgeous and that he should have guessed as much. A second e-mail followed with a picture of him. It had been taken without his knowledge while he was standing in a radio station studio in front of a microphone. He was adorable and completely unaware of it.
I sent my picture to him on September 11, 2001. Such an odd day to begin a relationship, right? I'm not even sure I can fully explain or remember the whirlwind that was the fall of 2001. Our two-part e-mails resumed with a much more romantic flavor. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, we were desperate for each other. I had sent him an e-mail telling him that I thought I was in love with him. He had responded back with the same sentiment. Neither of us could say the words, though. "I think I might love you," is very different than, "I love you." We made plans to speak on the phone. He called his phone company and turned on the long distance plan so we could talk to each other after our Thanksgiving dinners. I was nervous. So nervous. I remember my hands shaking and sweating. I had nothing to be nervous about, though. Even after sending hundreds of pages worth of e-mails to one another, we still had plenty to talk about. The conversation flowed so easily, and it was healing to finally hear his voice.
By Christmas, our phone conversations were a regular occurrence after a short time chatting online. Our talks had also taken a turn into the more sensual side of things. That's something I won't go into great detail about, but I think it's enough to say that having your mother overhear a portion of your phone sex conversation is sufficiently embarrassing. This was also the point in time where we were both seriously thinking about meeting. Four months of online courting had swept me off my feet, and I was willing to travel two thousand miles for him.
We spent the New Years Eve between 2001 and 2002 together on the phone. I was in the Eastern time zone, and he was in the Mountain. We compromised and celebrated the new year according to the Central time zone. Just after midnight, he told me he loved me. And I had no problem saying it right back with all my heart By January, I had made solid plans to drive to Albuquerque during my spring break, which fell during the second week of March.
Fast forward two months and I found myself in a car with two good friends and a boy. The boy was necessary. Our parents decided that three 20-something girls alone in a car going across the country was not a good idea. We needed a manly, intimidating chaperon. We recruited a friend's cousin, who wasn't doing anything at the time. He was a guy and he looked intimidating enough to satisfy all the parents involved. Plus, a free trip to New Mexico was more than enough to entice him into my car.
A snowstorm in Tulsa, where we overnighted, nearly spoiled things. I was so determined that I risked all our lives by plowing my tiny compact car through over two feet of snow to the freeway, which was still covered with ice and snow. There were only two close calls before we made it to Oklahoma City, where things cleared up significantly.
The border between Texas and New Mexico never looked so beautiful when we crossed it at sunset on that Saturday. We arrived in Albuquerque around ten o'clock in the evening. The hotel my friends were staying at was only five minutes from Jason's apartment. I felt disgusting after fighting the snow in Tulsa and being in the car for nearly two days, so I took a shower before I called him. He was going to pick me up at the hotel so we could return to his place.
I remember waiting outside in front of the hotel for him. It was cold, and my hair was wet from the shower. My stomach was flip-flopping, and my entire body was shaking. I saw his car pull into the parking lot, but I couldn't lift my head. I stared at the pavement between my feet until he got out of his car. And even then, I still couldn't look. I couldn't even breathe. When he was about twenty feet away, he called my name, and I finally had to look up. He jogged the rest of the way to me, and before I knew what was happening, we were hugging. And I remember thinking that it was the best hug I'd ever had in my life. I was so shy and nervous that he actually had to pull my head up to kiss me since I couldn't look at anything but the ground. We stood outside in the cold and kissed quite a bit before we went back into the hotel to let my friends know he'd arrived.
The week I spent with him was wonderful. We fell asleep holding hands each night. We had lunch and dinner with my friends. We visited Old Town, a series of small tourist-y shops downtown. We drove around town and enjoyed each other's company. We even went to the grocery store together, rented movies, and had a night in to cuddle on the sofa. I felt like I was home.
What wasn't wonderful was actually having to say goodbye. I still had two more months of the semester to finish. I told him and everyone else that I'd return for a visit in the summer, but I knew good and well that I'd be moving to Albuquerque for him as soon as I finished the semester.
I'm not going to say much about the goodbye because I still get weepy over it. We both cried while I packed my bags, and we made so many promises to each other. I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest when he drove away and left me standing beside my car. I was so upset I asked one of my friends to drive the first leg of the trip back to Charleston. If I had gotten in the driver's seat, we would have stayed in Albuquerque. I spent the entire four hour drive to the Texas border crying in the backseat. And that's not even an exaggeration. I don't remember much of that Saturday. We left around nine o'clock in the morning, and I sobbed as we passed the last Albuquerque exit. The next thing I remember is it being very dark, and we were parked at a truck stop getting candy and those disgusting chocolate-covered donuts. I stuffed my face with sweets and threw a coat over my head until it was morning again. My friend, bless her, drove all night by herself. By the time the sun came up, I was calmed down enough to actually drive my own car. We stopped for breakfast and made it back to Charleston in the mid-morning.
I didn't want to do anything else but call him when I got back into town. We both cried over the phone, and he admitted that he had called a buddy of his up after I left, and they went out for lunch. Jason said that he lost it when he started telling his friend about me, and ended up crying in the middle of the restaurant. The last part of March, all of April, and the first part of May were horrible. We talked on the phone every night, but I missed him terribly. I packed up my things in May and stuffed everything in my car. My parents thought I had gone mad. I was being very private, almost secretive, about Jason and I. I knew the stigma attached to online relationships, and I didn't want anyone to think that it applied to us.
Jason flew to Charleston on the day I took my last final exam. I met him at the airport late that night, and we rented a hotel room to have a bit of privacy from my family. He stayed for two days, and we did the whole family thing. He met my parents and grandparents. They liked him, but they still thought I had lost my marbles. My father actually put three hundred dollars in an Ziplock bag and shoved it beneath the carpet of my car in case I got into trouble. He didn't tell me until after I'd been in Albuquerque for three months.
We began the drive back to Albuquerque. I already knew the way, having driven it once already. With Jason in the car with me, the trip was a pleasure. We listened to music we both loved and enjoyed the scenery. Jason marveled at the lush green of the states we passed through. It took us two days, with a stop in Tulsa for the night, before arriving in Albuquerque. I moved my things in right away, and he helped me rearrange the furniture in his living room so it didn't look like such a bachelor pad. That was May of 2002, almost five years ago. I'm still sharing an apartment with him, and I can't imagine being anywhere else.
So, that's my story. I don't even know the two people who related their story in the links above, but, with all my heart, I hope they will be happy together. The addendum to the story that said the girl was moving to the U.S. made me smile. I didn't jump countries, but I've been there before, and I wish her luck and love.
In the fall of 1999, I missed an episode of Angel. It was a brand new show at the time, and I was crushed that I had already missed one. I posted a short message on a Buffy message board, asking if anyone could send me a copy on a VHS tape. One person replied and kindly offered to help. I tried to send money to pay for the tape, postage, and bubble envelope, but my helper would have none of it. I got the tape in the mail four days later. The return address was to a fellow named Jason in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I e-mailed him and thanked him for helping me. He e-mailed me back, and we started talking about Buffy and Angel.
Within two months, the e-mails were monstrously long, and we were talking about our lives instead of television shows. In fact, the e-mails were so long that AOL would not accept them. We had to break them into two e-mails: part 1 and part 2. We would occasionally speak by instant message, but it was mostly e-mails. Advice was given and taken, but no romance crept into these long letters. And, looking back, he sure was a wonderful listener.
By the time 2001 rolled around, I was in a very bad place emotionally. I was depressed and unhappy with the direction my life was going. I began second-guessing myself in regards to many things, including my major in college. I was working a tedious and stressful job in a law firm during my free time. I escaped to an even worse position that summer, working for the Department of Transportation. Interns certainly do get stepped on in a government office. I remember that summer as being the worst of my life. I felt like I was smothering. It was so horrible that I stopped talking to my e-pen-pal. I had been avoiding him for months, since the beginning of the year, actually. He made an effort to talk to me by instant messages, but I blocked him because I really didn't feel like talking about much of anything.
September rolled around, and I decided to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I went back to school, got a job working at Ticketmaster in my free time, and decided that a major change wasn't possible with only two semesters of college remaining.
By then, I felt bad for ignoring such a wonderful friend online, and I thought of him when I saw my dad's new webcam sitting atop his computer monitor. Jason had never seen me. Actually, none of my internet friends had seen me. I was feeling pretty snazzy with my new glasses and haircut. So, I took a picture of myself and e-mailed it to him. When I opened my e-mail the next day, he had responded. I wish I had saved that e-mail, but at the time, I didn't think anything of it. Hindsight really is 20/20. I do remember that he sent my self esteem through the roof. He declared that I was gorgeous and that he should have guessed as much. A second e-mail followed with a picture of him. It had been taken without his knowledge while he was standing in a radio station studio in front of a microphone. He was adorable and completely unaware of it.
I sent my picture to him on September 11, 2001. Such an odd day to begin a relationship, right? I'm not even sure I can fully explain or remember the whirlwind that was the fall of 2001. Our two-part e-mails resumed with a much more romantic flavor. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, we were desperate for each other. I had sent him an e-mail telling him that I thought I was in love with him. He had responded back with the same sentiment. Neither of us could say the words, though. "I think I might love you," is very different than, "I love you." We made plans to speak on the phone. He called his phone company and turned on the long distance plan so we could talk to each other after our Thanksgiving dinners. I was nervous. So nervous. I remember my hands shaking and sweating. I had nothing to be nervous about, though. Even after sending hundreds of pages worth of e-mails to one another, we still had plenty to talk about. The conversation flowed so easily, and it was healing to finally hear his voice.
By Christmas, our phone conversations were a regular occurrence after a short time chatting online. Our talks had also taken a turn into the more sensual side of things. That's something I won't go into great detail about, but I think it's enough to say that having your mother overhear a portion of your phone sex conversation is sufficiently embarrassing. This was also the point in time where we were both seriously thinking about meeting. Four months of online courting had swept me off my feet, and I was willing to travel two thousand miles for him.
We spent the New Years Eve between 2001 and 2002 together on the phone. I was in the Eastern time zone, and he was in the Mountain. We compromised and celebrated the new year according to the Central time zone. Just after midnight, he told me he loved me. And I had no problem saying it right back with all my heart By January, I had made solid plans to drive to Albuquerque during my spring break, which fell during the second week of March.
Fast forward two months and I found myself in a car with two good friends and a boy. The boy was necessary. Our parents decided that three 20-something girls alone in a car going across the country was not a good idea. We needed a manly, intimidating chaperon. We recruited a friend's cousin, who wasn't doing anything at the time. He was a guy and he looked intimidating enough to satisfy all the parents involved. Plus, a free trip to New Mexico was more than enough to entice him into my car.
A snowstorm in Tulsa, where we overnighted, nearly spoiled things. I was so determined that I risked all our lives by plowing my tiny compact car through over two feet of snow to the freeway, which was still covered with ice and snow. There were only two close calls before we made it to Oklahoma City, where things cleared up significantly.
The border between Texas and New Mexico never looked so beautiful when we crossed it at sunset on that Saturday. We arrived in Albuquerque around ten o'clock in the evening. The hotel my friends were staying at was only five minutes from Jason's apartment. I felt disgusting after fighting the snow in Tulsa and being in the car for nearly two days, so I took a shower before I called him. He was going to pick me up at the hotel so we could return to his place.
I remember waiting outside in front of the hotel for him. It was cold, and my hair was wet from the shower. My stomach was flip-flopping, and my entire body was shaking. I saw his car pull into the parking lot, but I couldn't lift my head. I stared at the pavement between my feet until he got out of his car. And even then, I still couldn't look. I couldn't even breathe. When he was about twenty feet away, he called my name, and I finally had to look up. He jogged the rest of the way to me, and before I knew what was happening, we were hugging. And I remember thinking that it was the best hug I'd ever had in my life. I was so shy and nervous that he actually had to pull my head up to kiss me since I couldn't look at anything but the ground. We stood outside in the cold and kissed quite a bit before we went back into the hotel to let my friends know he'd arrived.
The week I spent with him was wonderful. We fell asleep holding hands each night. We had lunch and dinner with my friends. We visited Old Town, a series of small tourist-y shops downtown. We drove around town and enjoyed each other's company. We even went to the grocery store together, rented movies, and had a night in to cuddle on the sofa. I felt like I was home.
What wasn't wonderful was actually having to say goodbye. I still had two more months of the semester to finish. I told him and everyone else that I'd return for a visit in the summer, but I knew good and well that I'd be moving to Albuquerque for him as soon as I finished the semester.
I'm not going to say much about the goodbye because I still get weepy over it. We both cried while I packed my bags, and we made so many promises to each other. I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest when he drove away and left me standing beside my car. I was so upset I asked one of my friends to drive the first leg of the trip back to Charleston. If I had gotten in the driver's seat, we would have stayed in Albuquerque. I spent the entire four hour drive to the Texas border crying in the backseat. And that's not even an exaggeration. I don't remember much of that Saturday. We left around nine o'clock in the morning, and I sobbed as we passed the last Albuquerque exit. The next thing I remember is it being very dark, and we were parked at a truck stop getting candy and those disgusting chocolate-covered donuts. I stuffed my face with sweets and threw a coat over my head until it was morning again. My friend, bless her, drove all night by herself. By the time the sun came up, I was calmed down enough to actually drive my own car. We stopped for breakfast and made it back to Charleston in the mid-morning.
I didn't want to do anything else but call him when I got back into town. We both cried over the phone, and he admitted that he had called a buddy of his up after I left, and they went out for lunch. Jason said that he lost it when he started telling his friend about me, and ended up crying in the middle of the restaurant. The last part of March, all of April, and the first part of May were horrible. We talked on the phone every night, but I missed him terribly. I packed up my things in May and stuffed everything in my car. My parents thought I had gone mad. I was being very private, almost secretive, about Jason and I. I knew the stigma attached to online relationships, and I didn't want anyone to think that it applied to us.
Jason flew to Charleston on the day I took my last final exam. I met him at the airport late that night, and we rented a hotel room to have a bit of privacy from my family. He stayed for two days, and we did the whole family thing. He met my parents and grandparents. They liked him, but they still thought I had lost my marbles. My father actually put three hundred dollars in an Ziplock bag and shoved it beneath the carpet of my car in case I got into trouble. He didn't tell me until after I'd been in Albuquerque for three months.
We began the drive back to Albuquerque. I already knew the way, having driven it once already. With Jason in the car with me, the trip was a pleasure. We listened to music we both loved and enjoyed the scenery. Jason marveled at the lush green of the states we passed through. It took us two days, with a stop in Tulsa for the night, before arriving in Albuquerque. I moved my things in right away, and he helped me rearrange the furniture in his living room so it didn't look like such a bachelor pad. That was May of 2002, almost five years ago. I'm still sharing an apartment with him, and I can't imagine being anywhere else.
So, that's my story. I don't even know the two people who related their story in the links above, but, with all my heart, I hope they will be happy together. The addendum to the story that said the girl was moving to the U.S. made me smile. I didn't jump countries, but I've been there before, and I wish her luck and love.