A discovery
I've deduced that I suck at keeping my emotions out of things. Or that I have the ability to differentiate them in my mind. I can't do that! I hate that. And I don't really want to tell all of you what this is about because I'm going to be embarassed later on. Because I know it's just the excitement and the laughter and the good company that is making me feel like this. I don't like him. But I really want to hang out with him, a lot. I've seen a lot of him in the past few days and we always make each other laugh a lot. It's just so nice to have a new friend and a guy friend, at that. So I'm trying to balance the thin line between friendship and having an interest in him. I don't want him to think I have an interest in him, because I don't want to have an interest in him. I just want to be his good friend. But what am I saying?! I hardly really know the kid. But he seems interesting. I'm just so desperate that any attention from a guy sends me reeling and my mind floats away with all the possibilities. But stop. Ah. At least all of this has cheered me up. It has, however, spawned a deadly case of procrastinating apathy in me. Dang it all.