FIC: Five Times an Away Mission Went Badly, and One Time It Also Went Badly
Title: Five Times an Away Mission Went Badly, and One Time It Also Went Badly
Pairing: Spock/Uhura + multiple others
Rating: mild R
Warnings: humorous dub-con / sex pollen / tentacles / AMTDI
Summary: In Starfleet, away missions have a way of going wrong. The secret is getting it to go wrong in the right way.
Author's Note: Ship Wars entry for Team Ashayam at st_respect. No Orions were harmed in the making of this story.
1.
The first time an away mission goes badly, it's the longest day of Spock's life.
Prior to Nyota's departure, Spock expressed his concern about her going on a dangerous mission without him. Her reply was gentle but firm: "Spock, everything will be fine. When we get back I'll tell you all about it."
Thirteen hours later, the team materializes on the transporter pad. Nyota and McCoy are exhausted but uninjured. Kirk is cheerful, joking as Medical scans him for alien viruses.
Spock joins Nyota as soon as Medical is finished. "Nyota," he murmurs, his fingers brushing hers in the only public gesture of affection he allows himself, "They said you were not mistreated."
Nyota nods. "They didn't hurt us. They just--" She lowers her voice. "They wanted a demonstration of human mating."
Violent retribution flares in his mind. "Nyota--"
"Not me. Kirk and McCoy--volunteered."
"You were spared." Spock is relieved. Although Starfleet officers receive training in what to do if captured by lifeforms interested in human mating, Spock has noticed many still find the prospect stressful.
Nyota looks uncomfortable. "I translated."
"Yes. You were essential to the negotiation."
Her brow furrows. "I mean, I had to translate everything Kirk and McCoy said. During the--demonstration."
Spock is silent for a moment. "I see. Kirk's vocabulary--"
"Yes."
"And his tendency to babble under duress--"
"Exactly."
"I have sometimes wondered if Kirk and McCoy are engaged in--"
"They are."
There is a long pause while Nyota stares into the distance, remembering. Finally, Spock clears his throat.
"If you wish to be debriefed about the experience, my quarters are--"
He doesn't get another word in for six point two hours.
2.
When Spock returns from his mission with a furiously blushing Chapel, Sulu, and Chekov, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened. Which is lucky, because Spock won't talk about it.
"Spock," Nyota says, lying beside him, her limbs still tingling from--whatever he just did to her, "you can tell me. Everyone knows you don't have a choice in a mind control situation."
Spock's eyes remain resolutely on the ceiling. "I appreciate your understanding. However, I am immune to mind control. Thus I was able to negotiate our release, while the others were--indisposed."
Nyota props herself up on one elbow, puzzled. "So you didn't--"
"I was required to keep the heated oil replenished. Otherwise my role was that of observer. And negotiator," he adds, quickly.
"So--that thing you just did--?"
"Sulu."
It's all he'll ever say.
3.
"Nyota, this mission is dangerous. An unknown planet, potentially hazardous--it is logical for me to--"
Nyota stops him with a kiss. "Spock. We'll be fine. We're just gathering botanical specimens." She snaps her kit shut and smacks his bottom on the way out, to show how un-worried she is.
While Nyota and Gaila recover in sickbay from the effects of acute sex-pollen intoxication, everyone agrees the problem was unforeseeable. Spock simply confiscates all video of their arrival on the transporter pad. They were still under the pollen's influence. It took several hours to separate them.
Spock keeps one copy of the video. As Chief Science Officer it's his duty to study it, in case they encounter the pollen again.
He wishes Kirk would stop asking to borrow it.
4.
Nyota is translating the final terms of their release when Spock, Kirk, and McCoy are beamed back aboard, so she doesn't see Spock until he's nearly in his quarters.
He stands before her, his perfect hair mussed, his wrists bearing the marks of seventeen hours in manacles. To Nyota he displays all the signs of someone who's been--involved in an away-mission incident.
He doesn't wait for her to ask. "Insectoid scientists, studying refractory periods in various species," he intones wearily. "Kirk performed oral stimulation on myself and McCoy for ten point six hours." His eyes gleam with un-Vulcan annoyance. "I am beginning to believe Kirk courts this type of trouble on purpose."
Nyota helps him into bed. As she's leaving he calls to her: "I still maintain it is logical for us to go on away missions together."
"Okay," Nyota says. "Next time."
5.
The next time, a scheduling error results in two simultaneous away missions.
As they board the shuttle, Spock confides his concerns to Admiral Pike, who smiles. "Away-mission mishaps are part of life in Starfleet," Pike says. "Besides, I think they improve morale."
Twenty-seven hours later, the two parties meet in the transporter room. Nyota, her hair disheveled, her lips swollen from kissing, speaks first. "Me, Chapel, McCoy, tentacle guy from the Claborian embassy." She sighs. "Drinks spiked with aphrodisiacs, possibly Terran."
Spock nods. His dress uniform is wrinkled and there are green hickeys on his neck. "Myself, Kirk, Admiral Pike, the Andorian Ambassador, the Orion delegation--"
"Don't you mean 'delegate?'"
"I mean delegation. The centerpieces contained suspicious flowers. An orgy resulted."
They sigh in unison. "Bath?" she says, finally.
"Yes."
Admiral Pike's note of apology is brief, but appreciated.
+1.
Nyota lifts her head from Spock's well-oiled chest and regards him in the gleaming torchlight. "How is this altar so comfortable?"
"I believe the stone is heated," he says. Her unbound hair is like silk, and he strokes it, fascinated.
Nyota slides her naked body up his and kisses him. "We've been drugged."
"Undoubtedly," he agrees.
There is an excited murmur from the crowd. Nyota translates: "They're impressed by our performance. They're discussing whether they want to see it again." She is poised above him, one inch from consummation.
"Must we await their decision?"
"No," she says, sinking onto him, as the crowd roars approval.
"Do you now see the logic of going on away missions together?" he murmurs, as she rocks her hips against his in an exquisite manner.
"God," she breathes. "Yes."
He doesn't get another word in for thirty point two hours.
Strangely, he finds he does not mind.
Perhaps his morale is improving.
***
Pairing: Spock/Uhura + multiple others
Rating: mild R
Warnings: humorous dub-con / sex pollen / tentacles / AMTDI
Summary: In Starfleet, away missions have a way of going wrong. The secret is getting it to go wrong in the right way.
Author's Note: Ship Wars entry for Team Ashayam at st_respect. No Orions were harmed in the making of this story.
1.
The first time an away mission goes badly, it's the longest day of Spock's life.
Prior to Nyota's departure, Spock expressed his concern about her going on a dangerous mission without him. Her reply was gentle but firm: "Spock, everything will be fine. When we get back I'll tell you all about it."
Thirteen hours later, the team materializes on the transporter pad. Nyota and McCoy are exhausted but uninjured. Kirk is cheerful, joking as Medical scans him for alien viruses.
Spock joins Nyota as soon as Medical is finished. "Nyota," he murmurs, his fingers brushing hers in the only public gesture of affection he allows himself, "They said you were not mistreated."
Nyota nods. "They didn't hurt us. They just--" She lowers her voice. "They wanted a demonstration of human mating."
Violent retribution flares in his mind. "Nyota--"
"Not me. Kirk and McCoy--volunteered."
"You were spared." Spock is relieved. Although Starfleet officers receive training in what to do if captured by lifeforms interested in human mating, Spock has noticed many still find the prospect stressful.
Nyota looks uncomfortable. "I translated."
"Yes. You were essential to the negotiation."
Her brow furrows. "I mean, I had to translate everything Kirk and McCoy said. During the--demonstration."
Spock is silent for a moment. "I see. Kirk's vocabulary--"
"Yes."
"And his tendency to babble under duress--"
"Exactly."
"I have sometimes wondered if Kirk and McCoy are engaged in--"
"They are."
There is a long pause while Nyota stares into the distance, remembering. Finally, Spock clears his throat.
"If you wish to be debriefed about the experience, my quarters are--"
He doesn't get another word in for six point two hours.
2.
When Spock returns from his mission with a furiously blushing Chapel, Sulu, and Chekov, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened. Which is lucky, because Spock won't talk about it.
"Spock," Nyota says, lying beside him, her limbs still tingling from--whatever he just did to her, "you can tell me. Everyone knows you don't have a choice in a mind control situation."
Spock's eyes remain resolutely on the ceiling. "I appreciate your understanding. However, I am immune to mind control. Thus I was able to negotiate our release, while the others were--indisposed."
Nyota props herself up on one elbow, puzzled. "So you didn't--"
"I was required to keep the heated oil replenished. Otherwise my role was that of observer. And negotiator," he adds, quickly.
"So--that thing you just did--?"
"Sulu."
It's all he'll ever say.
3.
"Nyota, this mission is dangerous. An unknown planet, potentially hazardous--it is logical for me to--"
Nyota stops him with a kiss. "Spock. We'll be fine. We're just gathering botanical specimens." She snaps her kit shut and smacks his bottom on the way out, to show how un-worried she is.
While Nyota and Gaila recover in sickbay from the effects of acute sex-pollen intoxication, everyone agrees the problem was unforeseeable. Spock simply confiscates all video of their arrival on the transporter pad. They were still under the pollen's influence. It took several hours to separate them.
Spock keeps one copy of the video. As Chief Science Officer it's his duty to study it, in case they encounter the pollen again.
He wishes Kirk would stop asking to borrow it.
4.
Nyota is translating the final terms of their release when Spock, Kirk, and McCoy are beamed back aboard, so she doesn't see Spock until he's nearly in his quarters.
He stands before her, his perfect hair mussed, his wrists bearing the marks of seventeen hours in manacles. To Nyota he displays all the signs of someone who's been--involved in an away-mission incident.
He doesn't wait for her to ask. "Insectoid scientists, studying refractory periods in various species," he intones wearily. "Kirk performed oral stimulation on myself and McCoy for ten point six hours." His eyes gleam with un-Vulcan annoyance. "I am beginning to believe Kirk courts this type of trouble on purpose."
Nyota helps him into bed. As she's leaving he calls to her: "I still maintain it is logical for us to go on away missions together."
"Okay," Nyota says. "Next time."
5.
The next time, a scheduling error results in two simultaneous away missions.
As they board the shuttle, Spock confides his concerns to Admiral Pike, who smiles. "Away-mission mishaps are part of life in Starfleet," Pike says. "Besides, I think they improve morale."
Twenty-seven hours later, the two parties meet in the transporter room. Nyota, her hair disheveled, her lips swollen from kissing, speaks first. "Me, Chapel, McCoy, tentacle guy from the Claborian embassy." She sighs. "Drinks spiked with aphrodisiacs, possibly Terran."
Spock nods. His dress uniform is wrinkled and there are green hickeys on his neck. "Myself, Kirk, Admiral Pike, the Andorian Ambassador, the Orion delegation--"
"Don't you mean 'delegate?'"
"I mean delegation. The centerpieces contained suspicious flowers. An orgy resulted."
They sigh in unison. "Bath?" she says, finally.
"Yes."
Admiral Pike's note of apology is brief, but appreciated.
+1.
Nyota lifts her head from Spock's well-oiled chest and regards him in the gleaming torchlight. "How is this altar so comfortable?"
"I believe the stone is heated," he says. Her unbound hair is like silk, and he strokes it, fascinated.
Nyota slides her naked body up his and kisses him. "We've been drugged."
"Undoubtedly," he agrees.
There is an excited murmur from the crowd. Nyota translates: "They're impressed by our performance. They're discussing whether they want to see it again." She is poised above him, one inch from consummation.
"Must we await their decision?"
"No," she says, sinking onto him, as the crowd roars approval.
"Do you now see the logic of going on away missions together?" he murmurs, as she rocks her hips against his in an exquisite manner.
"God," she breathes. "Yes."
He doesn't get another word in for thirty point two hours.
Strangely, he finds he does not mind.
Perhaps his morale is improving.
***