Head-canon for Sarek/Amanda, aka perving on Vulcans as usual
I've owed soixante_quinze five items of head-canon about Sarek/Amanda for a while now, and since I'm working away on a Sarek/Amanda fic I thought this would be a good time to gather it.
First, a visual:
Amanda arrives at the Embassy on her hover-scooter for her second date with Sarek.
1. They're not May-December exactly, but Amanda is relatively young when they meet. More like, May-August.
I love stories about how things began, so even though I love Sarek and Amanda at all ages, in writing I gravitate toward the time period when they first met. I like thinking about young Amanda, and what qualities she would have had to make her do something so unheard-of and brave as to marry a Vulcan and go to live on his planet. I'm disappointed sometimes in stories when she's written as someone who's intelligent but clueless, awkward in Sarek's presence, having a kind of "what, who, me?" reaction to the very idea that he's interested in her. To make the choices she ultimately makes--and to be a good match for Sarek--she has to be more worldly and confident and culturally aware than that.
My Amanda speaks Vulcan, and knows Vulcans socially and at work. She's surprised when Sarek asks her out, but not because she doubts herself, only because the concept of Vulcans dating humans doesn't conform to what she knows. It tells her something important about him, too, though: that contrary to appearances, he's not an entirely traditional Vulcan. His willingness to do something so outlandish as ask her out on a date is intriguing for what it suggests about him. It makes her want to know him more.
I realize none of that is clearly about their respective ages! I think what I mean is, Amanda is young for a human, probably in her 20s and not set in her ways, and still very much at a stage in life when she's learning and absorbing and figuring things out. Sarek, though he's still young relative to a Vulcan lifespan, has enough experience and self-knowledge to be open to his nonconforming desire for Amanda, even though he occupies a position of stature within the Vulcan establishment. He has enough confidence in himself to believe he can make that choice and handle the fallout.
Obviously, nonconforming for a Vulcan still looks pretty uptight by human standards. But even when I see Sarek later in conflict with Amanda about how he deals with Spock, I remember that this whole thing began because Sarek was willing to risk the consequences of a nontraditional relationship. He tells Baby Spock later that it was "logical" to marry Amanda, but I don't think most Vulcans would have seen it that way at the time--marrying Amanda, an emotional human, is essentially a public admission by Sarek that he wants what she has to offer, that a traditional Vulcan union won't suit him. Sarek is able to make it work--to make an unusual choice in marriage and still keep his position in Vulcan society--which is not a small thing. He's obviously an excellent diplomat, because he clearly understands how to navigate the fine complexities of the Vulcan world.
The problem, of course, is that Amanda and Spock end up bearing the brunt of any lingering social disapproval of Sarek's choices. I can see how Spock appearing to have committed to "follow the Vulcan Way" would have been a relief to Sarek, since he knows firsthand how difficult it is to take a different path. To have Spock renounce it instead--and in the form of a public outburst in defense of Amanda--must have felt like a rebuke. Spock rejects what Sarek wants him to do, and at the same time basically calls Sarek out for being up on the dais with the VSA while they look down on his son and insult his wife. What a rude awakening that must have been for Sarek!
Hah, and that's item number one of my head-canon! :D
2. Sarek is already Ambassador to Earth when he and Amanda start dating. Security-wise it's a little like dating the president.
NGL, I have a serious kink about this. The idea of someone who's constantly surrounded by security--who has people assigned to him whose job it is to know where he is at all times--trying to have a simple, pressure-free date, let alone develop an intimate relationship--is confusingly hot to me. I picture Sarek peeling himself out of Amanda's bed at four in the morning because if he stays out all night it's going to wind up in a report somewhere, and his Vulcan guards being all stone-faced and silent because that's their job and Vulcan guards are serious bsns, but at the same time they're standing in the dark outside Amanda's building wondering what the hell, and kind of surreptitiously checking Sarek for signs of mind-control or drugs, just in case. But being kind of baffled and titillated too, but not able to show it because Sarek is their boss and they don't want to wind up on Delta Vega.
Also, can we talk about Sarek's living arrangements? He's the Ambassador, so the Embassy is his residence, but I have to assume that like any dignitary living in a semi-public home, he must have a private space that's just his--like the family wing of the White House, or the private part of a National Trust house. "The Ambassador's private apartments" is a phrase I adore--it's so redolent with quiet privilege. You know that eventually, if he and Amanda are going to keep seeing each other, he has to have her over there--but when, and under what circumstances, must be such a fraught thing! On one hand, it's the most secure location they could possibly be in, security-wise and privacy-wise, because they're right in the heart of all that security, and nobody's going to dare disturb Sarek if he tells them he wants to left alone. OTOH, they're right in the middle of the Vulcan Embassy, and there are guards and social secretaries and housekeepers and night concierges and somebody whose job it's going to be to come up with breakfast in the morning, and they all know. How does nobody talk? The staff tea break must be just a riot of subtle Vulcan facial expressions and oblique non-references to it.
(Hah, an Upstairs/Downstairs series about the Vulcan Embassy would be pretty funny. Why can't thinking about something you want make it exist?)
3. Vulcans aren't that big on total nudity.
My head-Vulcans are big practitioners of partially-clothed sex. Partly out of modesty, partly because getting naked is like admitting you're planning to have sex, whereas remaining clothed offers a certain amount of cover re: premeditation. And lastly because it's really difficult to take those clothes off, as I am very fond of dwelling on in fic.
(Okay, the real "lastly" is that, gngh, Vulcan semi-clothed couchsex! I think this one also constitutes confession of a kink. :D )
(More seriously, this idea was hovering around in my consciousness when I wrote the scene in Like the Stars, Like Your Destiny where Spock undresses in front of Nyota. That he would, so simply and without any pretense of modesty--for me that was a way of showing his openness to her, that he's purposely there without his Vulcan reserve. Oh, Spock! He's so gorgeously purposeful and committed in my head.)
4. How they meet:
Non-AU Head-Canon Version: They meet because she's involved in an academic project that's being jointly organized by her university department and the cultural staff at the Embassy. He notices her at a meeting, and again later when he spots her in the rotunda, talking to his assistant, T'Vora. He notices her excellent posture, well-designed clothing (very similar to that worn by the younger Vulcan women on his staff: very closely tailored, emphasizing height and complex seam lines), and attractive legs. He suggests to T'Vora that she invite Miss Grayson to an Embassy function. T'Vora raises an eyebrow, but extends the invitation.
OR ELSE MAYBE
Ridiculous AU Head-Canon Version: They meet because Amanda's Vulcan hipster friends from university drag her to an Embassy function that they're attending ironically. Amanda sees Sarek from across the room and refuses to leave until she gets his number. They have a torrid affair in secret (possibly including threesomes with Vulcan hipster friend T'Vora), neither one expecting it to go anywhere, and accidentally fall in love. YES I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE, BUT--VULCAN HIPSTERS! *clings to ridiculous idea*
5. Random facts about them (and sneaky effort to inspire fic, idek):
- When Amanda was a teenager, she had lavender hair.
- Amanda's first encounter with peers of non-Terran origin was at 14 when she went to Cultural Exchange Camp on Andor. A somewhat fruitless crush on a Vulcan boy resulted in her discovering Vulcan poetry, which captivated her and eventually led her to her college studies in Comparative Literature, Translation, and Vulcan Language.
- She convinced the Vulcan boy to try human kissing. He seemed to like it, though he was reticent about trying "second base." (For that she fell back on Cute Boy #2, an Andorian who still sends her notes from time to time.)
- Amanda has a hover-scooter that she uses to get around between campus and the Embassy. It does not have a bumper sticker that says "My other ride is Sarek of Vulcan" (™ soixante_quinze). It should though. I eagerly await the fanart based on this premise. *checks watch, taps foot*
- Sarek's first sexual experience was with another boy.* Since this is pretty typical for Vulcans, he doesn't think to mention it to Amanda until some random future date when it comes up, perhaps when he wonders what Spock is starting to get up to as an adolescent.
(*Side note of Vulcan head-canon: For teenage Vulcans same-sex experimentation is considered a logical way of learning the basics without potentially disrupting the bond with one's intended future mate. It's the sort of teenage logic that doesn't entirely add up, but it's considered a benign developmental step so nobody makes a big deal about it. A certain percentage of Vulcans will decide their preference is for their own gender; since the conclusion is reached through empirical observation it's considered acceptably logical, though inconvenient from a reproductive standpoint.)
- IDEK about why Sarek's not bonded when he meets Amanda. I tend to be swayed by various explanations as I hear them, but I haven't thought it through and come up with one myself. TELL ME THINGS IF YOU WANT, I AM EAGER FOR DATA.
First, a visual:
Amanda arrives at the Embassy on her hover-scooter for her second date with Sarek.
1. They're not May-December exactly, but Amanda is relatively young when they meet. More like, May-August.
I love stories about how things began, so even though I love Sarek and Amanda at all ages, in writing I gravitate toward the time period when they first met. I like thinking about young Amanda, and what qualities she would have had to make her do something so unheard-of and brave as to marry a Vulcan and go to live on his planet. I'm disappointed sometimes in stories when she's written as someone who's intelligent but clueless, awkward in Sarek's presence, having a kind of "what, who, me?" reaction to the very idea that he's interested in her. To make the choices she ultimately makes--and to be a good match for Sarek--she has to be more worldly and confident and culturally aware than that.
My Amanda speaks Vulcan, and knows Vulcans socially and at work. She's surprised when Sarek asks her out, but not because she doubts herself, only because the concept of Vulcans dating humans doesn't conform to what she knows. It tells her something important about him, too, though: that contrary to appearances, he's not an entirely traditional Vulcan. His willingness to do something so outlandish as ask her out on a date is intriguing for what it suggests about him. It makes her want to know him more.
I realize none of that is clearly about their respective ages! I think what I mean is, Amanda is young for a human, probably in her 20s and not set in her ways, and still very much at a stage in life when she's learning and absorbing and figuring things out. Sarek, though he's still young relative to a Vulcan lifespan, has enough experience and self-knowledge to be open to his nonconforming desire for Amanda, even though he occupies a position of stature within the Vulcan establishment. He has enough confidence in himself to believe he can make that choice and handle the fallout.
Obviously, nonconforming for a Vulcan still looks pretty uptight by human standards. But even when I see Sarek later in conflict with Amanda about how he deals with Spock, I remember that this whole thing began because Sarek was willing to risk the consequences of a nontraditional relationship. He tells Baby Spock later that it was "logical" to marry Amanda, but I don't think most Vulcans would have seen it that way at the time--marrying Amanda, an emotional human, is essentially a public admission by Sarek that he wants what she has to offer, that a traditional Vulcan union won't suit him. Sarek is able to make it work--to make an unusual choice in marriage and still keep his position in Vulcan society--which is not a small thing. He's obviously an excellent diplomat, because he clearly understands how to navigate the fine complexities of the Vulcan world.
The problem, of course, is that Amanda and Spock end up bearing the brunt of any lingering social disapproval of Sarek's choices. I can see how Spock appearing to have committed to "follow the Vulcan Way" would have been a relief to Sarek, since he knows firsthand how difficult it is to take a different path. To have Spock renounce it instead--and in the form of a public outburst in defense of Amanda--must have felt like a rebuke. Spock rejects what Sarek wants him to do, and at the same time basically calls Sarek out for being up on the dais with the VSA while they look down on his son and insult his wife. What a rude awakening that must have been for Sarek!
Hah, and that's item number one of my head-canon! :D
2. Sarek is already Ambassador to Earth when he and Amanda start dating. Security-wise it's a little like dating the president.
NGL, I have a serious kink about this. The idea of someone who's constantly surrounded by security--who has people assigned to him whose job it is to know where he is at all times--trying to have a simple, pressure-free date, let alone develop an intimate relationship--is confusingly hot to me. I picture Sarek peeling himself out of Amanda's bed at four in the morning because if he stays out all night it's going to wind up in a report somewhere, and his Vulcan guards being all stone-faced and silent because that's their job and Vulcan guards are serious bsns, but at the same time they're standing in the dark outside Amanda's building wondering what the hell, and kind of surreptitiously checking Sarek for signs of mind-control or drugs, just in case. But being kind of baffled and titillated too, but not able to show it because Sarek is their boss and they don't want to wind up on Delta Vega.
Also, can we talk about Sarek's living arrangements? He's the Ambassador, so the Embassy is his residence, but I have to assume that like any dignitary living in a semi-public home, he must have a private space that's just his--like the family wing of the White House, or the private part of a National Trust house. "The Ambassador's private apartments" is a phrase I adore--it's so redolent with quiet privilege. You know that eventually, if he and Amanda are going to keep seeing each other, he has to have her over there--but when, and under what circumstances, must be such a fraught thing! On one hand, it's the most secure location they could possibly be in, security-wise and privacy-wise, because they're right in the heart of all that security, and nobody's going to dare disturb Sarek if he tells them he wants to left alone. OTOH, they're right in the middle of the Vulcan Embassy, and there are guards and social secretaries and housekeepers and night concierges and somebody whose job it's going to be to come up with breakfast in the morning, and they all know. How does nobody talk? The staff tea break must be just a riot of subtle Vulcan facial expressions and oblique non-references to it.
(Hah, an Upstairs/Downstairs series about the Vulcan Embassy would be pretty funny. Why can't thinking about something you want make it exist?)
3. Vulcans aren't that big on total nudity.
My head-Vulcans are big practitioners of partially-clothed sex. Partly out of modesty, partly because getting naked is like admitting you're planning to have sex, whereas remaining clothed offers a certain amount of cover re: premeditation. And lastly because it's really difficult to take those clothes off, as I am very fond of dwelling on in fic.
(Okay, the real "lastly" is that, gngh, Vulcan semi-clothed couchsex! I think this one also constitutes confession of a kink. :D )
(More seriously, this idea was hovering around in my consciousness when I wrote the scene in Like the Stars, Like Your Destiny where Spock undresses in front of Nyota. That he would, so simply and without any pretense of modesty--for me that was a way of showing his openness to her, that he's purposely there without his Vulcan reserve. Oh, Spock! He's so gorgeously purposeful and committed in my head.)
4. How they meet:
Non-AU Head-Canon Version: They meet because she's involved in an academic project that's being jointly organized by her university department and the cultural staff at the Embassy. He notices her at a meeting, and again later when he spots her in the rotunda, talking to his assistant, T'Vora. He notices her excellent posture, well-designed clothing (very similar to that worn by the younger Vulcan women on his staff: very closely tailored, emphasizing height and complex seam lines), and attractive legs. He suggests to T'Vora that she invite Miss Grayson to an Embassy function. T'Vora raises an eyebrow, but extends the invitation.
OR ELSE MAYBE
Ridiculous AU Head-Canon Version: They meet because Amanda's Vulcan hipster friends from university drag her to an Embassy function that they're attending ironically. Amanda sees Sarek from across the room and refuses to leave until she gets his number. They have a torrid affair in secret (possibly including threesomes with Vulcan hipster friend T'Vora), neither one expecting it to go anywhere, and accidentally fall in love. YES I KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE, BUT--VULCAN HIPSTERS! *clings to ridiculous idea*
5. Random facts about them (and sneaky effort to inspire fic, idek):
- When Amanda was a teenager, she had lavender hair.
- Amanda's first encounter with peers of non-Terran origin was at 14 when she went to Cultural Exchange Camp on Andor. A somewhat fruitless crush on a Vulcan boy resulted in her discovering Vulcan poetry, which captivated her and eventually led her to her college studies in Comparative Literature, Translation, and Vulcan Language.
- She convinced the Vulcan boy to try human kissing. He seemed to like it, though he was reticent about trying "second base." (For that she fell back on Cute Boy #2, an Andorian who still sends her notes from time to time.)
- Amanda has a hover-scooter that she uses to get around between campus and the Embassy. It does not have a bumper sticker that says "My other ride is Sarek of Vulcan" (™ soixante_quinze). It should though. I eagerly await the fanart based on this premise. *checks watch, taps foot*
- Sarek's first sexual experience was with another boy.* Since this is pretty typical for Vulcans, he doesn't think to mention it to Amanda until some random future date when it comes up, perhaps when he wonders what Spock is starting to get up to as an adolescent.
(*Side note of Vulcan head-canon: For teenage Vulcans same-sex experimentation is considered a logical way of learning the basics without potentially disrupting the bond with one's intended future mate. It's the sort of teenage logic that doesn't entirely add up, but it's considered a benign developmental step so nobody makes a big deal about it. A certain percentage of Vulcans will decide their preference is for their own gender; since the conclusion is reached through empirical observation it's considered acceptably logical, though inconvenient from a reproductive standpoint.)
- IDEK about why Sarek's not bonded when he meets Amanda. I tend to be swayed by various explanations as I hear them, but I haven't thought it through and come up with one myself. TELL ME THINGS IF YOU WANT, I AM EAGER FOR DATA.