Reflective: Accepting the inevitable.
Date: 06.01.03
Character(s): Katie Bell
Location: Her House
Status: Private
Summary: Understanding comes with time.
Completion: Complete
"You don't need me. You don't. You'd rather live your life alone so you don't have to open up anymore, right?"
Katie stood underneath the hot water as George’s words played over and over in her head. Each word shot through her body like lightening and she would start to tremble. She barely remembered the things she’d said. She looked back on that horrible fight and felt, almost, like she had no memory of it. Like it had been someone else; as if she’d been possessed by something that had been buried so deep inside and that it had finally escaped from the confines of her subconscious. Staring at the shampoo sitting in her hand she pulled herself back to the present and lathered it through her long locks.
It had been nearly four days and no one had seen or heard from George. Or, if they had, they weren’t telling her. She deserved it. Sighing, Katie tried to understand why she said the things she did. Part of her knew. Actually, all of her knew but admitting to something as self-pitying as being abandoned by her father, taking it out on the love of her life and in a sense, creating her own hell, she realized that transferring the blame wouldn’t do her a bit of good. If she didn’t learn to accept what had happened and move on, then she’d never be able to in anything that remotely resembled a functional relationship and with twins on the way, she had enough to learn and to manage as it was.
"Big, strong Katie Bell, not even a curse could break her.”
His words were haunting, terrible. Then again, the truth always was and what she’d said to him haunted her even more. The fog had cleared and each blow she’d delivered rushed back. He’d listened to her yell, listened to her scream her hate, her rage and she’d pushed him so far he’d left. Tears welled up in her eyes again and she quickly turned off the water. Standing naked in front of the mirror, water dripping down her body, she stared at herself, at the changes that had taken place.
She was pale and tired looking. There was no light in her eyes. They were dull, lifeless, without hope. Her hands moved down over her expanding waistline and her eyes skimmed over her increasingly large breasts and fell to the bump that had made its appearance. Katie’s brows knitted together and a frown formed on her lips. She did need him and he’d left her alone the way she’d demanded it and now, for the first time since they’d been together, they’d been apart for more then a day. It made her ill.
Fred had been very nice, very understanding, she thought as she wrapped a towel around her body. More understanding then she’d deserved. He understood what she’d told him. He understood and accepted what she’d never been able to admit to George or to anyone. She loved him so much that she hated him for it. It was blindly irrational and so was the thought that she’d wanted him to fight for her but instead, he walked away because in the end. He loved her too much to not.
Still staring at the woman she’d become, yet didn’t recognize, her voice broke as her hands moved over her stomach. “I need him.” Meeting her gaze in the mirror she shivered. “We need him.”
Character(s): Katie Bell
Location: Her House
Status: Private
Summary: Understanding comes with time.
Completion: Complete
"You don't need me. You don't. You'd rather live your life alone so you don't have to open up anymore, right?"
Katie stood underneath the hot water as George’s words played over and over in her head. Each word shot through her body like lightening and she would start to tremble. She barely remembered the things she’d said. She looked back on that horrible fight and felt, almost, like she had no memory of it. Like it had been someone else; as if she’d been possessed by something that had been buried so deep inside and that it had finally escaped from the confines of her subconscious. Staring at the shampoo sitting in her hand she pulled herself back to the present and lathered it through her long locks.
It had been nearly four days and no one had seen or heard from George. Or, if they had, they weren’t telling her. She deserved it. Sighing, Katie tried to understand why she said the things she did. Part of her knew. Actually, all of her knew but admitting to something as self-pitying as being abandoned by her father, taking it out on the love of her life and in a sense, creating her own hell, she realized that transferring the blame wouldn’t do her a bit of good. If she didn’t learn to accept what had happened and move on, then she’d never be able to in anything that remotely resembled a functional relationship and with twins on the way, she had enough to learn and to manage as it was.
"Big, strong Katie Bell, not even a curse could break her.”
His words were haunting, terrible. Then again, the truth always was and what she’d said to him haunted her even more. The fog had cleared and each blow she’d delivered rushed back. He’d listened to her yell, listened to her scream her hate, her rage and she’d pushed him so far he’d left. Tears welled up in her eyes again and she quickly turned off the water. Standing naked in front of the mirror, water dripping down her body, she stared at herself, at the changes that had taken place.
She was pale and tired looking. There was no light in her eyes. They were dull, lifeless, without hope. Her hands moved down over her expanding waistline and her eyes skimmed over her increasingly large breasts and fell to the bump that had made its appearance. Katie’s brows knitted together and a frown formed on her lips. She did need him and he’d left her alone the way she’d demanded it and now, for the first time since they’d been together, they’d been apart for more then a day. It made her ill.
Fred had been very nice, very understanding, she thought as she wrapped a towel around her body. More understanding then she’d deserved. He understood what she’d told him. He understood and accepted what she’d never been able to admit to George or to anyone. She loved him so much that she hated him for it. It was blindly irrational and so was the thought that she’d wanted him to fight for her but instead, he walked away because in the end. He loved her too much to not.
Still staring at the woman she’d become, yet didn’t recognize, her voice broke as her hands moved over her stomach. “I need him.” Meeting her gaze in the mirror she shivered. “We need him.”