RP: A Somewhat Familiar Face
Date: June 1, 2003
Character(s): Alice Longbottom, Remus Lupin
Location: Longbottom's Greenhouse, initially at least
Status: Private
Summary: Both looking for somebody who isn't there, Alice and Remus reconnect.
Completion: Complete
Living in Annwn hadn't been living.
In fact she'd barely been in town at all.
Alice knew it was torture more than a good idea, spending all her time at St. Mungo's, but she had no place else to go in essence. Day after day she sat in Frank's room, or following his mediwitches and healers around in attempts to learn and understand, never seen and never heard. She never got the answers she wanted though, and nothing would make her corporeal no matter how hard she tried. Nothing could make him respond either, but still, she couldn't stop going back day after day - watching him and having her heart break repeatedly as they sat silently in the room together. One silent in anything meaningful or sentient, and the other never heard.
It took weeks of that to realize she hated what she was becoming.
She couldn't leave Frank, but she couldn't stay either, not all the time like she had been, because she was losing herself again even if it wasn't to the extent that they had both been lost. She couldn't spend day after day torturing herself with what was gone and what she couldn't give him back, and what she couldn't give him back. That didn't mean it didn't feel like there was some measure of guilt in leaving even for a matter of hours or days, even if he would never know she was there, but she wasn't anything there.
In Annwn she wasn't much either, a shell if she was letting herself give into the demons, but at least she was a corporeal being. Capable of provoking a response in others. Eating, drinking, and living to an extent.
The hardest was what wasn't there, Neville. That had been her grace in all this - even with the past, even with Frank - that he was alive and well, and there. Except that he hadn't been, and as far as she could tell, didn't look to be anytime soon. She couldn't reassure herself with her own hands and eyes that he was fine, and couldn't have a life with him, couldn't get to know her own son - she had no idea her son was a herbologist, had no ideas about anything like that. The only clue to his departure had been an owl she'd found in his greenhouse once she'd located it. A short, terse little missive from Frank's mother informing him of Alice' death. He'd never come to visit Frank, and she had no means of looking for him on her own outside of the town. Besides, as much as it occurred to her that there might be something wrong, it occurred to her as well that he might not want to be found, and might not want the same chance with a dead woman that she was living for.
But after a short visit to her room above the Beedle Bar, Alice made her much travelled trek to the greenhouse that he'd fashioned here again, hoping for some sign of him.
And like always, no matter how much she wanted to see the boy who was nearly a stranger, there was nobody there. A glance at the plants had them preserved and growing, but even going through the greenhouse itself and his living area, there was no sign of Neville - nothing having changed from the days before.
"Fuck," the curse came easily as she shut the door to the greenhouse behind her, not wanting to disturb her son's work.
When she turned, she saw a figure approaching the building, and her hopes jumped for a moment - but from a distance even she could tell it wasn't Neville, much as she wanted it to be. He was an adult when her mind he was still a baby, but not that many years had passed. "The greenhouse is closed," she called out to the approaching man as she shielded her eyes against the sun, thinking of all the magical means and locks she'd had to get through to sneak around, "you'll have to come back another time."
Character(s): Alice Longbottom, Remus Lupin
Location: Longbottom's Greenhouse, initially at least
Status: Private
Summary: Both looking for somebody who isn't there, Alice and Remus reconnect.
Completion: Complete
Living in Annwn hadn't been living.
In fact she'd barely been in town at all.
Alice knew it was torture more than a good idea, spending all her time at St. Mungo's, but she had no place else to go in essence. Day after day she sat in Frank's room, or following his mediwitches and healers around in attempts to learn and understand, never seen and never heard. She never got the answers she wanted though, and nothing would make her corporeal no matter how hard she tried. Nothing could make him respond either, but still, she couldn't stop going back day after day - watching him and having her heart break repeatedly as they sat silently in the room together. One silent in anything meaningful or sentient, and the other never heard.
It took weeks of that to realize she hated what she was becoming.
She couldn't leave Frank, but she couldn't stay either, not all the time like she had been, because she was losing herself again even if it wasn't to the extent that they had both been lost. She couldn't spend day after day torturing herself with what was gone and what she couldn't give him back, and what she couldn't give him back. That didn't mean it didn't feel like there was some measure of guilt in leaving even for a matter of hours or days, even if he would never know she was there, but she wasn't anything there.
In Annwn she wasn't much either, a shell if she was letting herself give into the demons, but at least she was a corporeal being. Capable of provoking a response in others. Eating, drinking, and living to an extent.
The hardest was what wasn't there, Neville. That had been her grace in all this - even with the past, even with Frank - that he was alive and well, and there. Except that he hadn't been, and as far as she could tell, didn't look to be anytime soon. She couldn't reassure herself with her own hands and eyes that he was fine, and couldn't have a life with him, couldn't get to know her own son - she had no idea her son was a herbologist, had no ideas about anything like that. The only clue to his departure had been an owl she'd found in his greenhouse once she'd located it. A short, terse little missive from Frank's mother informing him of Alice' death. He'd never come to visit Frank, and she had no means of looking for him on her own outside of the town. Besides, as much as it occurred to her that there might be something wrong, it occurred to her as well that he might not want to be found, and might not want the same chance with a dead woman that she was living for.
But after a short visit to her room above the Beedle Bar, Alice made her much travelled trek to the greenhouse that he'd fashioned here again, hoping for some sign of him.
And like always, no matter how much she wanted to see the boy who was nearly a stranger, there was nobody there. A glance at the plants had them preserved and growing, but even going through the greenhouse itself and his living area, there was no sign of Neville - nothing having changed from the days before.
"Fuck," the curse came easily as she shut the door to the greenhouse behind her, not wanting to disturb her son's work.
When she turned, she saw a figure approaching the building, and her hopes jumped for a moment - but from a distance even she could tell it wasn't Neville, much as she wanted it to be. He was an adult when her mind he was still a baby, but not that many years had passed. "The greenhouse is closed," she called out to the approaching man as she shielded her eyes against the sun, thinking of all the magical means and locks she'd had to get through to sneak around, "you'll have to come back another time."