Bones: "Middle of Nowhere"
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended! The show and the characters belong to Hart Hanson, Kathy Reichs, and FOX. No profit was made from this, only pure entertainment and joy for writing!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Squint Squad, Booth, and Parker go on a camping/fishing trip.
Title: “Middle of Nowhere”
Format: Script
Date started: 8/9/07
Progress: This will be finish whenever I have my muse.
*Author Notes: This is an AU story; which means, this story is skipped 2 years ahead. No case is involved in this one because I don’t really have a lot of time to write it and solve it. This is purely a hilarious story about the Squint Squad’s camping trip. I write all my fan-fiction stories like a script because I think it helps puts the readers into the story and makes them picture what the set looks like and what the actors would do. In general, it makes everything seem more realistic.
Scene I
(Scene fades in to black)
The Jeffersonian lab is dimly lit; some parts of the lab are pitch-dark. Nobody is working yet because it is only 5 a.m. . The camera slowly makes its way towards Booth and Brennan who are caught bickering with each other. Their “sexual” tensions have been more noticeable lately because of the whole “boyfriend-girlfriend” commitment.
Bones: Why did you let him go?
Booth: Bones, I can only hold him for 48 hours. Unless, you had brought me this evidence earlier!
Bones: It’s not my fault you lost him because you let him go.
Booth: I didn’t lose him, he disappeared!
Bones: Well, he wouldn’t have been able to disappear if you hadn’t let him go in the first place!
Booth: How’s this my fault?
Bones: Arrgh, you are an unbearable, self-righteous…man!
(Angela interrupts)
Angela: Are you two lovebirds done arguing yet?
Bones: We’re not arguing. We’re just discussing a case.
Angela: Uh Huh, You guys were definitely arguing.
(Brennan decides not to protest Angela’s statement when she sees Parker running up towards them)
Parker has on a blue France national jersey with the name Zidane written on it. His baggy beige cargo pants match his shirt. Parker is only seven, but is an avid football fan and loves to draw.
Parker: Look what I drew daddy!
(Booth looks at the picture, but doesn’t know he is squinting to see it.)
Booth (with excitement): Wow! That’s really great bud! You know what daddy likes to draw?
(Parker guesses very easily about this question)
Parker: Stick figures?
Booth (laughs): That’s the only thing daddy knows how to draw.
(Booth turns to Bones)
Bones: That’s a really impressive anime drawing Parker. Why don’t you go show it to auntie Angie? I’m sure she would like to see it too.
(Parker walks toward Angela. The two of them immediately converse about the drawing. Meanwhile, Brennan heads towards her office for relief, but Booth follows her. )
Booth: Anime Bones??
Bones: Yeah, It’s what we refer to as a Japanese style of motion-picture animation. In Japan, it is use to refer to all forms of animation around the world. It began in the 20th century when Japanese filmmakers were experimenting with animation techniques…..
(Booth interjects abruptly)
Booth (annoyed): Yeah, I know what anime is Bones. Do you have to be so technical all the time?
(Booth lets out a huge sigh, Brennan is sitting at her desk with her eyes wandering around aimlessly.)
(Brennan ponders something in her head)
Brennan (infuriated): Why can’t Booth just accept me? This is who I am. I don’t think this relationship will ever work out….no matter what Angela says...
Booth: Bones? Are you there?
(Bones stops thinking)
Bones: What did you say?
Booth (serious): Listen, we need to talk.
Bones (angrily): What is there to talk about Booth?
Booth: Just listen to what I have to say. I know you’re angry and I’m sorry for the way I’ve been….
(Booth hesitates to find the words)
Bones: Booth….
Booth: Let me finish what I have to say Bones….It’s not that I don’t love you…I really do, but our relationship is complicated….and what if I make the same mistakes I did last time when I was dating Cam…..?
(Silence follows, the only sound happening in the sterile office are the packing of Brennan’s necessities for the camping trip)
Bones: Well, A wise man once said “How will we ever know if it doesn’t work out between two people if we never try it?”
Booth: Bones….
Bones: Booth….
Booth (grins): Guy Hug……?
(Bones and Booth start to smile. Bones falls into Booth’s arm for a while; until Angela interrupts them.)
Angela (smiling): Are you two done with whatever you’re doing? We’ve got a camping trip to get started .
(Bones and Booth look startled)
Booth: Right, yeah…I’ll go get the car started.
(Booth nervously reaches for the car keys and starts to leave, but stops for a second near the door.)
Booth: If you ever tell anyone this…
Angela (smiling): Right….yeah…I totally got it.
(Booth heads out)
Angela: So how was it?
Bones: What? We didn’t do anything.
Angela (playful): Uh Huh…you guys definitely did something Honey.
Bones: What?? No!!
(Angela smirking a little bit, she’s got that face on)
Bones (defiantly): No!! We didn’t do anything.
Bones: We’re partners Ange! We just had a guy hug.
(Angela doesn’t believe Brennan. She’s just teasing Brennan right now)
Bones(sternly): Just a hug.
Angela: Did I say anything to suggest otherwise? I meant the “hug” Brennan.
Bones(serious): Just so you know, nothing big will ever happen between Booth and me. Booth and I aren’t regular couples. For God Sakes! Which, I only use as an expression….Booth and I are partners. We work together and see each other everyday. Our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can only go so far because we see each other professionally.
Angela: Honey, look at me and Hodgins. We work together and still manage to
have…absolutely incredible sex. I say go have sex with Booth, who knows....maybe you guys will do it when we’re out in the woods.
Bones: Ange!!!
(Hodgins steps in the office and interrupts.)
Hodgins: Did you pack my vials Angela?
Angela: I don’t think you’re going to have much time in the woods collect soil samples or bugs.
Hodgins(smells Angela’s hair): Me likes what the lady is saying.
Angela(playfully): Hodgins, Stop it!!
Angela: We really got to go to the car. Booth is probably waiting for us.
Bones: Go ahead; I got to do something quick.
(Angela and Jack exits the room, Brennan slowly gets up from her desk and puts on her dark black wooly jacket. She looks at the picture on her desk. It is a picture of her family at the beach. Mother and daughter side-by-side and father and son on the other side together.)
(Camera cuts to the scene outside of Brennan’s office. We see all the Squints carrying loads of stuff they don’t really need into Booth’s van. Enter Jack and Zack outside the Jeffersonian’s lab and onto the green slush field near where Booth parked his black 4 x 4 car. )
Jack: You mean you never went camping before?
Zack: I never saw the point of camping. All sweaty and I’m scared of bug bites and infection.
Jack: Dude! You never punched anyone, never had ice cream and candy, and never went to a carnival. What fun did you have as a kid?
Zack (hesitates): I had fun. I read…mostly…science stuff…
Jack: That’s it. You, me and Booth are going to be doing a lot of manly stuff on this trip.
(Booth has been standing near the driver’s seat of the car the whole time)
Booth: There she is! Finally, about time you finished Bones.
Bones: Sorry everybody.
Jack: That’s the last of the equipment.
(Jack slams the trunk and everyone piles into the car. Booth is the driver and Brennan is sitting up front with Booth. Angela and Parker are sitting in the middle. Jack and Zack are in the back. Booth’s truck starts and they’re off onto the road. Scene fades out. Cue the opening credits.)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The Squint Squad, Booth, and Parker go on a camping/fishing trip.
Title: “Middle of Nowhere”
Format: Script
Date started: 8/9/07
Progress: This will be finish whenever I have my muse.
*Author Notes: This is an AU story; which means, this story is skipped 2 years ahead. No case is involved in this one because I don’t really have a lot of time to write it and solve it. This is purely a hilarious story about the Squint Squad’s camping trip. I write all my fan-fiction stories like a script because I think it helps puts the readers into the story and makes them picture what the set looks like and what the actors would do. In general, it makes everything seem more realistic.
Scene I
(Scene fades in to black)
The Jeffersonian lab is dimly lit; some parts of the lab are pitch-dark. Nobody is working yet because it is only 5 a.m. . The camera slowly makes its way towards Booth and Brennan who are caught bickering with each other. Their “sexual” tensions have been more noticeable lately because of the whole “boyfriend-girlfriend” commitment.
Bones: Why did you let him go?
Booth: Bones, I can only hold him for 48 hours. Unless, you had brought me this evidence earlier!
Bones: It’s not my fault you lost him because you let him go.
Booth: I didn’t lose him, he disappeared!
Bones: Well, he wouldn’t have been able to disappear if you hadn’t let him go in the first place!
Booth: How’s this my fault?
Bones: Arrgh, you are an unbearable, self-righteous…man!
(Angela interrupts)
Angela: Are you two lovebirds done arguing yet?
Bones: We’re not arguing. We’re just discussing a case.
Angela: Uh Huh, You guys were definitely arguing.
(Brennan decides not to protest Angela’s statement when she sees Parker running up towards them)
Parker has on a blue France national jersey with the name Zidane written on it. His baggy beige cargo pants match his shirt. Parker is only seven, but is an avid football fan and loves to draw.
Parker: Look what I drew daddy!
(Booth looks at the picture, but doesn’t know he is squinting to see it.)
Booth (with excitement): Wow! That’s really great bud! You know what daddy likes to draw?
(Parker guesses very easily about this question)
Parker: Stick figures?
Booth (laughs): That’s the only thing daddy knows how to draw.
(Booth turns to Bones)
Bones: That’s a really impressive anime drawing Parker. Why don’t you go show it to auntie Angie? I’m sure she would like to see it too.
(Parker walks toward Angela. The two of them immediately converse about the drawing. Meanwhile, Brennan heads towards her office for relief, but Booth follows her. )
Booth: Anime Bones??
Bones: Yeah, It’s what we refer to as a Japanese style of motion-picture animation. In Japan, it is use to refer to all forms of animation around the world. It began in the 20th century when Japanese filmmakers were experimenting with animation techniques…..
(Booth interjects abruptly)
Booth (annoyed): Yeah, I know what anime is Bones. Do you have to be so technical all the time?
(Booth lets out a huge sigh, Brennan is sitting at her desk with her eyes wandering around aimlessly.)
(Brennan ponders something in her head)
Brennan (infuriated): Why can’t Booth just accept me? This is who I am. I don’t think this relationship will ever work out….no matter what Angela says...
Booth: Bones? Are you there?
(Bones stops thinking)
Bones: What did you say?
Booth (serious): Listen, we need to talk.
Bones (angrily): What is there to talk about Booth?
Booth: Just listen to what I have to say. I know you’re angry and I’m sorry for the way I’ve been….
(Booth hesitates to find the words)
Bones: Booth….
Booth: Let me finish what I have to say Bones….It’s not that I don’t love you…I really do, but our relationship is complicated….and what if I make the same mistakes I did last time when I was dating Cam…..?
(Silence follows, the only sound happening in the sterile office are the packing of Brennan’s necessities for the camping trip)
Bones: Well, A wise man once said “How will we ever know if it doesn’t work out between two people if we never try it?”
Booth: Bones….
Bones: Booth….
Booth (grins): Guy Hug……?
(Bones and Booth start to smile. Bones falls into Booth’s arm for a while; until Angela interrupts them.)
Angela (smiling): Are you two done with whatever you’re doing? We’ve got a camping trip to get started .
(Bones and Booth look startled)
Booth: Right, yeah…I’ll go get the car started.
(Booth nervously reaches for the car keys and starts to leave, but stops for a second near the door.)
Booth: If you ever tell anyone this…
Angela (smiling): Right….yeah…I totally got it.
(Booth heads out)
Angela: So how was it?
Bones: What? We didn’t do anything.
Angela (playful): Uh Huh…you guys definitely did something Honey.
Bones: What?? No!!
(Angela smirking a little bit, she’s got that face on)
Bones (defiantly): No!! We didn’t do anything.
Bones: We’re partners Ange! We just had a guy hug.
(Angela doesn’t believe Brennan. She’s just teasing Brennan right now)
Bones(sternly): Just a hug.
Angela: Did I say anything to suggest otherwise? I meant the “hug” Brennan.
Bones(serious): Just so you know, nothing big will ever happen between Booth and me. Booth and I aren’t regular couples. For God Sakes! Which, I only use as an expression….Booth and I are partners. We work together and see each other everyday. Our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can only go so far because we see each other professionally.
Angela: Honey, look at me and Hodgins. We work together and still manage to
have…absolutely incredible sex. I say go have sex with Booth, who knows....maybe you guys will do it when we’re out in the woods.
Bones: Ange!!!
(Hodgins steps in the office and interrupts.)
Hodgins: Did you pack my vials Angela?
Angela: I don’t think you’re going to have much time in the woods collect soil samples or bugs.
Hodgins(smells Angela’s hair): Me likes what the lady is saying.
Angela(playfully): Hodgins, Stop it!!
Angela: We really got to go to the car. Booth is probably waiting for us.
Bones: Go ahead; I got to do something quick.
(Angela and Jack exits the room, Brennan slowly gets up from her desk and puts on her dark black wooly jacket. She looks at the picture on her desk. It is a picture of her family at the beach. Mother and daughter side-by-side and father and son on the other side together.)
(Camera cuts to the scene outside of Brennan’s office. We see all the Squints carrying loads of stuff they don’t really need into Booth’s van. Enter Jack and Zack outside the Jeffersonian’s lab and onto the green slush field near where Booth parked his black 4 x 4 car. )
Jack: You mean you never went camping before?
Zack: I never saw the point of camping. All sweaty and I’m scared of bug bites and infection.
Jack: Dude! You never punched anyone, never had ice cream and candy, and never went to a carnival. What fun did you have as a kid?
Zack (hesitates): I had fun. I read…mostly…science stuff…
Jack: That’s it. You, me and Booth are going to be doing a lot of manly stuff on this trip.
(Booth has been standing near the driver’s seat of the car the whole time)
Booth: There she is! Finally, about time you finished Bones.
Bones: Sorry everybody.
Jack: That’s the last of the equipment.
(Jack slams the trunk and everyone piles into the car. Booth is the driver and Brennan is sitting up front with Booth. Angela and Parker are sitting in the middle. Jack and Zack are in the back. Booth’s truck starts and they’re off onto the road. Scene fades out. Cue the opening credits.)