Big Bang 2013: Have Hatred and Gravity Won - 17/19
Back to Masterpost
Part Seventeen
Jensen watched Jared sort bricks to re-use and put them into a wheelbarrow. The heavy work had built impressive muscles, and Jared’s face glowed with healthy color. College life suited him. Jared was popular and bright, and he smiled like sunshine while he worked and played. The desire to be close to him, to touch and to have Jared hadn't faded, and it took Jensen every effort to remain aloof. So far, in the four weeks they had worked together, there had been no opportunity to be alone with him. It could have been a coincidence, but he knew it was a circumstance engineered by Jared.
Over time, Jensen had come to accept that his fascination with a boy almost half his age was probably unhealthy, and there had been a few lovers in the year since Jared rejected him. Once, he could almost have believed he was in love. Before he returned to Monkota there had been Hafiz - only two years younger than Jensen. He was dark eyed, dark skinned, with a quick mind and a ready laugh. Jensen had tumbled into bed with him, and kept doing it for five weeks, but when the project they worked on together was complete, he couldn't find a reason to stay, and it didn't hurt to leave. After, it occurred to Jensen that he never shared his deepest emotions or secrets with Hafiz. He supposed any relationship was progress, but he hadn't tried again. Now, here was Jared in front of him, and he would give everything, for the one last chance he hadn't earned.
“Are you coming?” Rachel called to Jared. The rest of the students tidied their tools away, and the next bus was due in a few minutes.
Jared looked at Jensen, “If you're working, I'd like to carry on. I've almost finished re-pointing this wall.”
Jake scowled, “It's Saturday, dude. We were going to hang out.”
“You go ahead. I want to finish this. I'm broke anyway.”
Rachel tugged Jake away with a “Ssh,” on her lips.
“It's your loss, Jared.” Jake huffed, “Catch you later.”
The bus pulled away with a crunch of gears and stuttering engine. When it was around the corner Jensen took a chance, “If you want, we can work on that wall together. We'd get it finished faster. Then we could go somewhere for coffee, and you can tell me about college.”
Jared ducked his head and smiled, “I'd like that.”
They soon got into a rhythm, mixing mortar and applying it. They worked quietly, shoulder to shoulder, with occasional comments to encourage each other. Jensen reveled in the closeness and the raw scent of Jared which reminded him of the intimacy they once shared.
When they were almost done, Jared dug his trowel into the mortar on the mixing board. The board flipped up, flicking sticky gray aggregate all over him. “Oh! Ew!” He shook it off his hands, flicking it, in turn, onto Jensen's face. “Ah, shit! Sorry.” He gently reached a hand to Jensen's face to wipe away the thick blobs, and smeared more from his mucky fingers, leaving Jensen with stripes of dirt on his face. Jensen retaliated by dipping his fingers in the mortar and painting war stripes on Jared's face. They were helpless with laughter within minutes, clutching at each others' sticky fingers and rolling on the dusty floor to get the upper hand. They stilled with Jensen straddled over Jared's waist, pinning his hands against the floor above his head. He bit his lip, let go of his hands and started to get up. “God! Sorry!”
Jared's hands snaked up and around Jensen’s neck, to pull him back down. “I missed this, with you. It never felt right with anyone else.” He tilted his head up, and his lips brushed on Jensen's.
Jensen could feel the drying grit of mortar and taste it on Jared's lips. It was still the sweetest taste. He met Jared's mouth with his own, slid lips against lips and kissed him, careful at first, then deepening and passionate. He messed up Jared's thick brown hair with drying mortar on clutching hands, and Jared repaid the favor by rubbing it through his spiked short hair. Their lips slid together, and fitted perfectly. They kissed until they were breathless, and then sat up to check they hadn't been seen. They laughed at the state they were in.
Jensen calmed down before he spoke, “Nobody is going to serve us coffee like this, and I hear the dorm showers are hopeless. He poked at Jared's board-stiff hair. We should finish up, and you can come home for a shower, and a coffee.”
“I should get the bus. I don't have any way of getting back to my dorm.” Jared picked at his hair.
“I'll drive, unless that's a polite way of saying no. I mean, if your boyfriend is waiting...”
“No! No boyfriend. I'd love to, if it won't get you into trouble.”
“I'm not a teacher. I think we're good.”
They finished the wall, stood back to admire their handiwork, and then tidied away their tools. When the tips of their fingers touched Jared let them linger, and Jensen closed his eyes, memorizing the sensation.
Jensen's car was an old model hatchback with a dust sheet and assorted tools strewn over the back seat. His apartment was similarly modest, but clean and neat, in military-style. The coffee maker was a premium model and out of place by the basic microwave. Jared had to admit the coffee smelled delicious and Jensen rooted through his cabinets for syrup to put in Jared's cup.
“I thought killing people would pay better than this.” The words were out of Jared's mouth before he could stop them.
Jensen placed syrup on the worktop with a triumphant flourish, before answering, “It did, but I'm just Jensen Ackles. I'm an ex-slave who was offered amnesty, and was repaid the sum of his sister's estate. I have a basic-wage job, working with students and buildings. It would look strange to have more.” He patted his coffee maker, “For the truly important things, I make an exception.” He grimaced as he produced packet of powdered creamer, “Only I don't have cream, because I never have visitors. Well, not before now.”
They leaned casually against opposite worktops and Jensen looked relaxed. Jared watched him stir his syrup and creamer in, and accepted the fat mug in grubby hands. He steadied his nerves as he asked the question he most needed an answer to. “Who are you?”
Jensen's answer was passionate, and he looked Jared in the eye as he spoke. “I'm Jensen Ackles. I'm the guy you took fishing, and the one who serves the best breakfast in bed. I've been Jensen since you sent me away, and it's who I intend to be for the rest of my life. You made me see that.”
“Why did you come back?”
“You got the postcards, didn't you?” Jensen ran a forefinger around the edge of his mug. “I went elsewhere, everywhere. Sometimes I stayed among wealth. Sometimes I lived with the destitute. I wasn't expecting to miss this miserable nation, but you were right about belonging. It was time to come home. There was an amnesty, and the regeneration program, and Jensen's papers were always real.”
Jared's breath caught, and he straightened up. “Did they ask about me? If you're here, I can't have killed you.”
Jensen shook his head. “I don't think any of the government departments are organized enough to compare names, and it's not going to alter the rest of the charges that were laid against you.”
His shoulders slumped. It was true. In the months that followed his escape, Quintas produced enough 'evidence' to convict him, in his absence, of the murder of Fin and Jensen, as well as misappropriation of government funds. He had learned to live with the fear of being discovered, and numerous false sightings in Europe and America helped.
Jensen continued, “As for money; some of the best times I had were with people who had nothing, not even their next meal.” Jensen put his cup down, “It's humbling, and eventually you work out what really matters.”
“What matters to Jensen Ackles?” Jared asked earnestly. He tapped his fingers on the side of his mug, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Jensen paused before speaking. “I'm still figuring it out. I know I want to make a difference to the people around me. There are secrets I will keep for the rest of my life, but from now, I want to be honest. No more identities, no more running. I have a home, and eventually, I want someone to share it with.”
Jared took a breath and plunged in. He was done with waiting for his insane attraction to Jensen to subside; two years was long enough. “I don't suppose you have any ideas who with.” He looked from beneath fine strands of hair and thick lashes, flirting with him.
Jensen rubbed the back of his neck, “There's somebody,” he said with a slight smile, “But he's much younger than me, and I don't deserve him. I screwed up. He's been dating some drama-class douche called Tom, so I don't know if he'll agree to date me. Or, if he'll like me once he gets to know me better. I want to give it a try though. What do you think?” His smile faded, and he looked at Jared. He chewed on his lip, and the lines on his face deepened.
Jared stepped across the gap between them, until he was face to face with Jensen. He put his own mug down, to put both hands on Jensen's waist and pull him close. “I happen to know that Tom's boyfriend broke up with him, and a competent stalker would know it too.”
Jensen had the grace to blush. “Maybe a stalker needs to hear it, to be sure.”
Jared tried to hide a smile, but sparkling eyes and dimples gave him away. “This person, who broke up with Tom, maybe Tom didn’t fit just right to his side. Maybe Tom didn’t turn him on the way you did. Maybe Tom didn’t pin him down to hold him together when he was falling apart. Perhaps you were the reason. Perhaps he's prepared to take a chance, but he needs total honesty this time around, and he wants to know if you manipulated his entry into this college?”
“Presumptuous pup! I never said it was you.”
“No you didn't,” Jared dipped in for short sweet kiss, “But I don't see you objecting to a kiss. So …”
Jared could see the downward turn of Jensen's eyes, and his slight hesitation. He had already guessed at the truth, and his chest seemed too tight, his breath short as he waited for Jensen's answer.
Jensen drew a deep breath before speaking, “It took me a while to know where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do. When I looked at the details of the regeneration program, it was also ideal for you. I owed you the chance, but I couldn't influence the college admissions board. You passed the exam, and your interview was the best. You did that on your own. I knew you could” His hands smoothed over Jared's shoulders and down his arms to join his hands on his waist. Jared relished the touch. It felt like coming home.
“Madame said she picked up the college leaflet at the store, but you gave it to her, didn't you?”
“I met her at the store. I persuaded her to let you go. Was I wrong? You seem happy.”
“You could have come to me.”
“Would you have seen me?” He twined his fingers into Jared's.
Jared shook his head. He knew he wouldn't have welcomed Jensen while he was still at the Road House. “Thanks for telling the truth, however socially inappropriate you are,” he said, with a smile. There was a lightness in knowing that he had Jensen's honesty.
Jensen nodded an acknowledgment. “You should get a shower. I'll find something for you to wear. I have shorts somewhere.”
Jared stepped back. He didn't know how to bring up what he wanted to say. “Uh. About the shower. I er…”
“Jared, I'm not going to force myself on you in the shower.”
“I didn't think that!” Jared was defensive. “It's just that I haven't done anything intimate with anyone since leaving the Road House. I know what I am, and how it seems, but what I did there, it meant nothing. I don't ever want sex to feel like that again. I don't want to rush into it.”
Jensen reached a dusty finger to his lips. “Ssh. Nor do I. I want to date, and get to know you. The rest of it, we know we're good at. We don't need to rush. So, I will get a towel and clothes, and you can take your shower while I ring for take out. How does that sound, baby boy?”
“Good.” Jared was relieved, but his face must have betrayed some surprise at the use of the endearment.
“Shit! Oh god. I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you. You're not anybody's baby boy, Jared.” Jensen clapped his hand to his mouth.
“I am.” It was Jared's turn to silence Jensen. “I never let any client use that name. I was Blue or Baby Blue. Baby boy was only ever for you.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“Even more reason to not let the johns use it.” Jared said, with a slight quirk of his lip. It was how the ban had started. He wasn't sure when his reasoning changed, or maybe it had altered according to his moods. His feelings for Jensen had alternated wildly between missing him, and wishing him a painful death.
“Fair point.” Jensen agreed. “If you want me to use it, I will. The first time you called me daddy, I couldn't help thinking of men like Lou, but then it was you, and it felt right.”
“Back then, you said you were using me.” There was a challenge in Jared's words.
Jensen stroked Jared's hand. “That's how it was supposed to be, and I did my job, but if I said I felt nothing for you, I lied. I'm sorry for that.”
“And what I did to you, and to Fin?”
“For me, it was a job. I played my role, and I purposefully baited you. The whipping was sore, but it never bothered me. It worked out well for my purposes. I can't forgive you for what you did to others, but I think it's time you forgave yourself. You've more than paid the price, and you grew up.”
“So, we're good?”
“As long as you don't object to me ordering take out, we'll be golden. I'm starving. Pizza, Chinese, or Chicken?”
“Pizza.”
“Yes!” Jensen grinned. “Topping?”
“Meat feast, extra chili.”
“Ha! I was terrified you were going to say spinach and pineapple or something. Garlic bread or fries with it?”
“Both.”
“We're meant for each other, you know that?” Jensen's eyes crinkled at the edges, as he smiled.
***
Jared took off his shoes and crept into his dorm room after midnight. He covered his eyes as the light blinked on and Christian sat up in his bed. “Where the hell have you been, dude? Nobody's seen you since lunchtime. We were going to send out search parties.”
“It's Saturday night. I went out.” Jared whispered, but it was pointless. Steve was wide awake too.”
“You never go out. We thought you'd been abducted,”
“Or run over,” added Steve,
“Or got a girlfriend,” continued Chris, digging for information.
“What do you think Tom was? If you haven't worked out that I'm gay, then I pity you.” Jared spoke light-heartedly, but there was tension underneath. He didn't know how his friends would react to sharing their room with him. They had never said anything to imply they would have a problem him being gay, but that was never a reliable indicator.
“Tom was a douche, and you barely held hands,” declared Steve.
“You owe me ten dollars, Steve-o.” Christian crowed, and offered Jared a high-five.
Steve shrugged.
Jared was bemused. “You could have asked.”
“Nah. It's your personal life. We figured you'd tell us when you were comfortable,” Chris explained. “So, what's your new boyfriend like?”
“Hey! It's my personal life.”
“Is he hot?” pressed Steve.
Jared threw a pillow at him. “Of course!”
“Do we know him?” Christian took over.
“I don't think you've met, and that is all you're getting from me.”
Chris made smoochy sounds and put his hands around his own waist. “I bet you've been kissing and stuff.”
“So mature! We watched movies and ate pizza. I'm going to bed. Go to sleep!”
“Aw. Don't be mad. It's good to know you're getting some at last.”
“Christian!” Jared growled, playfully winging a shoe his way.
“Ouch.” Chris turned out the light. “Sweet wet dreams,” he teased.
Jared's other shoe joined the first on Chris's bed.
Part eighteen
Part Seventeen
Jensen watched Jared sort bricks to re-use and put them into a wheelbarrow. The heavy work had built impressive muscles, and Jared’s face glowed with healthy color. College life suited him. Jared was popular and bright, and he smiled like sunshine while he worked and played. The desire to be close to him, to touch and to have Jared hadn't faded, and it took Jensen every effort to remain aloof. So far, in the four weeks they had worked together, there had been no opportunity to be alone with him. It could have been a coincidence, but he knew it was a circumstance engineered by Jared.
Over time, Jensen had come to accept that his fascination with a boy almost half his age was probably unhealthy, and there had been a few lovers in the year since Jared rejected him. Once, he could almost have believed he was in love. Before he returned to Monkota there had been Hafiz - only two years younger than Jensen. He was dark eyed, dark skinned, with a quick mind and a ready laugh. Jensen had tumbled into bed with him, and kept doing it for five weeks, but when the project they worked on together was complete, he couldn't find a reason to stay, and it didn't hurt to leave. After, it occurred to Jensen that he never shared his deepest emotions or secrets with Hafiz. He supposed any relationship was progress, but he hadn't tried again. Now, here was Jared in front of him, and he would give everything, for the one last chance he hadn't earned.
“Are you coming?” Rachel called to Jared. The rest of the students tidied their tools away, and the next bus was due in a few minutes.
Jared looked at Jensen, “If you're working, I'd like to carry on. I've almost finished re-pointing this wall.”
Jake scowled, “It's Saturday, dude. We were going to hang out.”
“You go ahead. I want to finish this. I'm broke anyway.”
Rachel tugged Jake away with a “Ssh,” on her lips.
“It's your loss, Jared.” Jake huffed, “Catch you later.”
The bus pulled away with a crunch of gears and stuttering engine. When it was around the corner Jensen took a chance, “If you want, we can work on that wall together. We'd get it finished faster. Then we could go somewhere for coffee, and you can tell me about college.”
Jared ducked his head and smiled, “I'd like that.”
They soon got into a rhythm, mixing mortar and applying it. They worked quietly, shoulder to shoulder, with occasional comments to encourage each other. Jensen reveled in the closeness and the raw scent of Jared which reminded him of the intimacy they once shared.
When they were almost done, Jared dug his trowel into the mortar on the mixing board. The board flipped up, flicking sticky gray aggregate all over him. “Oh! Ew!” He shook it off his hands, flicking it, in turn, onto Jensen's face. “Ah, shit! Sorry.” He gently reached a hand to Jensen's face to wipe away the thick blobs, and smeared more from his mucky fingers, leaving Jensen with stripes of dirt on his face. Jensen retaliated by dipping his fingers in the mortar and painting war stripes on Jared's face. They were helpless with laughter within minutes, clutching at each others' sticky fingers and rolling on the dusty floor to get the upper hand. They stilled with Jensen straddled over Jared's waist, pinning his hands against the floor above his head. He bit his lip, let go of his hands and started to get up. “God! Sorry!”
Jared's hands snaked up and around Jensen’s neck, to pull him back down. “I missed this, with you. It never felt right with anyone else.” He tilted his head up, and his lips brushed on Jensen's.
Jensen could feel the drying grit of mortar and taste it on Jared's lips. It was still the sweetest taste. He met Jared's mouth with his own, slid lips against lips and kissed him, careful at first, then deepening and passionate. He messed up Jared's thick brown hair with drying mortar on clutching hands, and Jared repaid the favor by rubbing it through his spiked short hair. Their lips slid together, and fitted perfectly. They kissed until they were breathless, and then sat up to check they hadn't been seen. They laughed at the state they were in.
Jensen calmed down before he spoke, “Nobody is going to serve us coffee like this, and I hear the dorm showers are hopeless. He poked at Jared's board-stiff hair. We should finish up, and you can come home for a shower, and a coffee.”
“I should get the bus. I don't have any way of getting back to my dorm.” Jared picked at his hair.
“I'll drive, unless that's a polite way of saying no. I mean, if your boyfriend is waiting...”
“No! No boyfriend. I'd love to, if it won't get you into trouble.”
“I'm not a teacher. I think we're good.”
They finished the wall, stood back to admire their handiwork, and then tidied away their tools. When the tips of their fingers touched Jared let them linger, and Jensen closed his eyes, memorizing the sensation.
Jensen's car was an old model hatchback with a dust sheet and assorted tools strewn over the back seat. His apartment was similarly modest, but clean and neat, in military-style. The coffee maker was a premium model and out of place by the basic microwave. Jared had to admit the coffee smelled delicious and Jensen rooted through his cabinets for syrup to put in Jared's cup.
“I thought killing people would pay better than this.” The words were out of Jared's mouth before he could stop them.
Jensen placed syrup on the worktop with a triumphant flourish, before answering, “It did, but I'm just Jensen Ackles. I'm an ex-slave who was offered amnesty, and was repaid the sum of his sister's estate. I have a basic-wage job, working with students and buildings. It would look strange to have more.” He patted his coffee maker, “For the truly important things, I make an exception.” He grimaced as he produced packet of powdered creamer, “Only I don't have cream, because I never have visitors. Well, not before now.”
They leaned casually against opposite worktops and Jensen looked relaxed. Jared watched him stir his syrup and creamer in, and accepted the fat mug in grubby hands. He steadied his nerves as he asked the question he most needed an answer to. “Who are you?”
Jensen's answer was passionate, and he looked Jared in the eye as he spoke. “I'm Jensen Ackles. I'm the guy you took fishing, and the one who serves the best breakfast in bed. I've been Jensen since you sent me away, and it's who I intend to be for the rest of my life. You made me see that.”
“Why did you come back?”
“You got the postcards, didn't you?” Jensen ran a forefinger around the edge of his mug. “I went elsewhere, everywhere. Sometimes I stayed among wealth. Sometimes I lived with the destitute. I wasn't expecting to miss this miserable nation, but you were right about belonging. It was time to come home. There was an amnesty, and the regeneration program, and Jensen's papers were always real.”
Jared's breath caught, and he straightened up. “Did they ask about me? If you're here, I can't have killed you.”
Jensen shook his head. “I don't think any of the government departments are organized enough to compare names, and it's not going to alter the rest of the charges that were laid against you.”
His shoulders slumped. It was true. In the months that followed his escape, Quintas produced enough 'evidence' to convict him, in his absence, of the murder of Fin and Jensen, as well as misappropriation of government funds. He had learned to live with the fear of being discovered, and numerous false sightings in Europe and America helped.
Jensen continued, “As for money; some of the best times I had were with people who had nothing, not even their next meal.” Jensen put his cup down, “It's humbling, and eventually you work out what really matters.”
“What matters to Jensen Ackles?” Jared asked earnestly. He tapped his fingers on the side of his mug, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Jensen paused before speaking. “I'm still figuring it out. I know I want to make a difference to the people around me. There are secrets I will keep for the rest of my life, but from now, I want to be honest. No more identities, no more running. I have a home, and eventually, I want someone to share it with.”
Jared took a breath and plunged in. He was done with waiting for his insane attraction to Jensen to subside; two years was long enough. “I don't suppose you have any ideas who with.” He looked from beneath fine strands of hair and thick lashes, flirting with him.
Jensen rubbed the back of his neck, “There's somebody,” he said with a slight smile, “But he's much younger than me, and I don't deserve him. I screwed up. He's been dating some drama-class douche called Tom, so I don't know if he'll agree to date me. Or, if he'll like me once he gets to know me better. I want to give it a try though. What do you think?” His smile faded, and he looked at Jared. He chewed on his lip, and the lines on his face deepened.
Jared stepped across the gap between them, until he was face to face with Jensen. He put his own mug down, to put both hands on Jensen's waist and pull him close. “I happen to know that Tom's boyfriend broke up with him, and a competent stalker would know it too.”
Jensen had the grace to blush. “Maybe a stalker needs to hear it, to be sure.”
Jared tried to hide a smile, but sparkling eyes and dimples gave him away. “This person, who broke up with Tom, maybe Tom didn’t fit just right to his side. Maybe Tom didn’t turn him on the way you did. Maybe Tom didn’t pin him down to hold him together when he was falling apart. Perhaps you were the reason. Perhaps he's prepared to take a chance, but he needs total honesty this time around, and he wants to know if you manipulated his entry into this college?”
“Presumptuous pup! I never said it was you.”
“No you didn't,” Jared dipped in for short sweet kiss, “But I don't see you objecting to a kiss. So …”
Jared could see the downward turn of Jensen's eyes, and his slight hesitation. He had already guessed at the truth, and his chest seemed too tight, his breath short as he waited for Jensen's answer.
Jensen drew a deep breath before speaking, “It took me a while to know where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do. When I looked at the details of the regeneration program, it was also ideal for you. I owed you the chance, but I couldn't influence the college admissions board. You passed the exam, and your interview was the best. You did that on your own. I knew you could” His hands smoothed over Jared's shoulders and down his arms to join his hands on his waist. Jared relished the touch. It felt like coming home.
“Madame said she picked up the college leaflet at the store, but you gave it to her, didn't you?”
“I met her at the store. I persuaded her to let you go. Was I wrong? You seem happy.”
“You could have come to me.”
“Would you have seen me?” He twined his fingers into Jared's.
Jared shook his head. He knew he wouldn't have welcomed Jensen while he was still at the Road House. “Thanks for telling the truth, however socially inappropriate you are,” he said, with a smile. There was a lightness in knowing that he had Jensen's honesty.
Jensen nodded an acknowledgment. “You should get a shower. I'll find something for you to wear. I have shorts somewhere.”
Jared stepped back. He didn't know how to bring up what he wanted to say. “Uh. About the shower. I er…”
“Jared, I'm not going to force myself on you in the shower.”
“I didn't think that!” Jared was defensive. “It's just that I haven't done anything intimate with anyone since leaving the Road House. I know what I am, and how it seems, but what I did there, it meant nothing. I don't ever want sex to feel like that again. I don't want to rush into it.”
Jensen reached a dusty finger to his lips. “Ssh. Nor do I. I want to date, and get to know you. The rest of it, we know we're good at. We don't need to rush. So, I will get a towel and clothes, and you can take your shower while I ring for take out. How does that sound, baby boy?”
“Good.” Jared was relieved, but his face must have betrayed some surprise at the use of the endearment.
“Shit! Oh god. I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you. You're not anybody's baby boy, Jared.” Jensen clapped his hand to his mouth.
“I am.” It was Jared's turn to silence Jensen. “I never let any client use that name. I was Blue or Baby Blue. Baby boy was only ever for you.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“Even more reason to not let the johns use it.” Jared said, with a slight quirk of his lip. It was how the ban had started. He wasn't sure when his reasoning changed, or maybe it had altered according to his moods. His feelings for Jensen had alternated wildly between missing him, and wishing him a painful death.
“Fair point.” Jensen agreed. “If you want me to use it, I will. The first time you called me daddy, I couldn't help thinking of men like Lou, but then it was you, and it felt right.”
“Back then, you said you were using me.” There was a challenge in Jared's words.
Jensen stroked Jared's hand. “That's how it was supposed to be, and I did my job, but if I said I felt nothing for you, I lied. I'm sorry for that.”
“And what I did to you, and to Fin?”
“For me, it was a job. I played my role, and I purposefully baited you. The whipping was sore, but it never bothered me. It worked out well for my purposes. I can't forgive you for what you did to others, but I think it's time you forgave yourself. You've more than paid the price, and you grew up.”
“So, we're good?”
“As long as you don't object to me ordering take out, we'll be golden. I'm starving. Pizza, Chinese, or Chicken?”
“Pizza.”
“Yes!” Jensen grinned. “Topping?”
“Meat feast, extra chili.”
“Ha! I was terrified you were going to say spinach and pineapple or something. Garlic bread or fries with it?”
“Both.”
“We're meant for each other, you know that?” Jensen's eyes crinkled at the edges, as he smiled.
***
Jared took off his shoes and crept into his dorm room after midnight. He covered his eyes as the light blinked on and Christian sat up in his bed. “Where the hell have you been, dude? Nobody's seen you since lunchtime. We were going to send out search parties.”
“It's Saturday night. I went out.” Jared whispered, but it was pointless. Steve was wide awake too.”
“You never go out. We thought you'd been abducted,”
“Or run over,” added Steve,
“Or got a girlfriend,” continued Chris, digging for information.
“What do you think Tom was? If you haven't worked out that I'm gay, then I pity you.” Jared spoke light-heartedly, but there was tension underneath. He didn't know how his friends would react to sharing their room with him. They had never said anything to imply they would have a problem him being gay, but that was never a reliable indicator.
“Tom was a douche, and you barely held hands,” declared Steve.
“You owe me ten dollars, Steve-o.” Christian crowed, and offered Jared a high-five.
Steve shrugged.
Jared was bemused. “You could have asked.”
“Nah. It's your personal life. We figured you'd tell us when you were comfortable,” Chris explained. “So, what's your new boyfriend like?”
“Hey! It's my personal life.”
“Is he hot?” pressed Steve.
Jared threw a pillow at him. “Of course!”
“Do we know him?” Christian took over.
“I don't think you've met, and that is all you're getting from me.”
Chris made smoochy sounds and put his hands around his own waist. “I bet you've been kissing and stuff.”
“So mature! We watched movies and ate pizza. I'm going to bed. Go to sleep!”
“Aw. Don't be mad. It's good to know you're getting some at last.”
“Christian!” Jared growled, playfully winging a shoe his way.
“Ouch.” Chris turned out the light. “Sweet wet dreams,” he teased.
Jared's other shoe joined the first on Chris's bed.
Part eighteen