FIC - Dear Diary ~Keigo, Yumichika/Ikkaku ~R
Title: Dear Diary
Pairings/Characters: Asano Keigo, Yumichika/Ikkaku
Spoilers: Takes place maybe about a week after chapter 213
Warnings: crack, fluff
Rating: R for language, mentions of yaoi, voyeurism, and masturbation
Word Count: 1377
Prompt: stalk
Written for: week #39 bleach_contest but it got way out of hand and had no hope of hitting the less than 300 word count, besides it ended up not really fitting the prompt very well anyway. I just like the story.
Description: Keigo doesn’t feel comfortable telling his friends what’s been going on around his house, so he turns to someone else.
Beta: akuni
15 September
Dear Diary,
I like girls. I like girls. I like girls! Maybe if I keep chanting that it’ll finally sink in. Because I gotta tell you, after what I saw today I’m seriously doubting my manhood… manliness… no gender preference, that’s it!
I didn’t mean to walk in on them. The place was so quiet I just figured everyone was gone. It’s not like they were ever quiet before! Not even when they knew I was around! And Yumichika, sheesh! Most nights the guy never stops talking even at… you know that moment.
All I was doing was picking up the laundry. I swear. It’s not like it’s gonna get done if I don’t do it. I was just going room to room picking up all the dirty clothes. I wasn’t being especially quiet, either. I thought I was alone, so why would I be quiet?
Thank all the fucking gods in the sky that I wasn’t loud when I opened that door. It didn’t even squeak, which with my luck was a miracle in itself.
I saw them right away of course. I mean, there was no way not to see something that hot. Yes, ok. I said it. I saw two guys fucking and it was hot. In fact, it was so hot it gave me a stiffy of my own.
Who knew baldy could be that gentle? Or the pretty one would look so right with his cock inside Ikkaku’s ass. All those nights I had to listen to them, and it never once occurred to me how hot they would look together, or that they switched it up in bed.
I probably only stood there for like a second, two at most, but I have to tell you that image will be with me forever. It was just that memorable. They both had their eyes closed, which was probably the only thing that saved my ass. I think I must’ve used up all my good karma today. Tomorrow I’m probably gonna get hit by a car. But until then, I have some prime material to whack off to.
They both had looks on their faces that were so happy it’s pretty much impossible to describe without sounding like a freaking girl. You’d think someone could die from being that happy. That’s totally the way I want to die - looking just like they did.
I stayed for just a second, and it was that long only because it took that second for my self-preservation instinct to kick in. I really didn’t want to see my guts plastered against the wall while I felt my heart stop beating, so I backed up without making a sound. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even breathe. I did stare on my way out, though. I figured if I was going to die a horrible death, I might as well make it worth it.
Fucking hell, they were hot to watch. The only reason I was able to close the door on them is that I really don’t want to die a virgin; I can’t think of anything much worse than that. Thankfully, I managed to silently close the door and tiptoe away.
I slipped out of the apartment as quietly as I could as well, and went around to the corner store and asked to use their washroom. There was no way I was staying in the apartment to jerk off. I’d used up all my good luck just getting to see them fuck without being killed. And my boner was never going away on its own. So… corner store it was.
It’s not like it took me any longer in the washroom than a normal person would have been in there. Hell, it probably took a lot less. I’d been ready to explode the moment I left the apartment, and the long walk to the store didn’t help matters any. I think if I’d had to take even another 10 steps, all I would have been doing in the washroom was cleaning up. It was that close.
You’d think I’d have more stamina by now, but the way I felt with that boner today was nothing like walking around school half hard. That’s just a little uncomfortable, but since I spend most days checking out the girls in class, I’m used to that. I am wondering, though, if I’ll be checking out the guys now as well.
I gave them an hour at the house to finish up. Do you suppose guys can fuck that long? I figured better safe than sorry. I was not going back until I was sure they were done. My life may be ordinary, but I still like my soul right where it’s at.
I even tried to think smart like Chad or Ichigo would. So, I decided I needed a good excuse for coming home from school late and not getting to the laundry on laundry day. I went to the store to pick up a few essentials we needed and something I could afford for dessert tonight. Okay, so the dessert thing was a little suspicious, but I figured I had to celebrate my first live porno. It’s not every day I get to see something that… beautiful? Geez, I’m sounding like a girl again. But it was, I guess. Beautiful, I mean.
I finally decided that if anyone asked about the dessert, I could just lie and say I won a little money playing cards after school. I figured an irresponsible excuse would be most believable, and a little extra cash would seem like a good reason to splurge with dessert.
They bought it. Nobody even blinked at my excuse at dinner. Of course, if I hadn’t bothered to make up one, they would have grilled me like a steak, so I guess it’s just as well.
But seriously, what the hell is with my sister? I’ve seen single minded. I’ve seen oblivious. She’s just… deaf to anything she doesn’t want to hear. What does she think they’re doing in there every night, playing charades? She stills paws all over Ikkaku every chance she gets and tonight was no exception. As usual, Yumichika silently laughed his ass off at the idiotic performance.
I just sat and watched it all with a sense of awe. These guys were actually in love. I guess it made me uneasy before. Their relationship, that is. Maybe because of that I just never noticed they were in love. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but it was cute. What the hell is wrong with me? I see two guys fucking for the first time in my life and suddenly I’m the girl?!
Still, today was awesome! Tonight is shaping up to be even better. I can already hear them working their way up to screwing again. It’s going to be another noisy night. Tonight, though, no pillow over my head. This one I’m going to enjoy. I’ve got one incredible picture to go with the sounds. I’m actually hoping Yumichika will be talkative tonight. He’s louder than Ikkaku and I can usually hear everything he says when I don’t have my headphones on.
I wonder if they change it up in bed so they can have sex more often. Cause two guys together… man they probably want to have sex all the time. Might be the best reason I ever heard for being gay, especially if you could find a guy just as horny as I am.
Yep, tonight I am definitely questioning my sexual… orientation? Is that the word? Well anyway, I’m wondering if I’m gay. Not that I particularly care; I mean, the first time Ichigo asked that obviously gay Ishida dude to join us for lunch I was pretty sure I knew which way they swing. I figure if Ichigo can be gay anybody can, so why not me? Still, I think I’ll keep my options open; there are some pretty hot chicks in our school.
I gotta go, sounds like the main attraction is getting ready to start, and I need a new box of tissues for tonight. I’ll write again when something else exciting happens. Fuck, I really need to stop sounding like a girl!