DURARARA!! Gaiden Vol. 2: Heiwajima Shizuo
DURARARA!!
- Everyone Gets Along - March
March of a certain year, somewhere in Tokyo
"Over-thinking is worse than not thinking. Have you ever heard of that saying?"
"……"
The man standing next to the man in white gave no reply after he heard the question.
The man in white, however, continued to speak from behind his medical mask unperturbed.
"Basically it says it's no good to think too much. But even so, I can't stop myself from over-thinking, because this might very well be the most important question of my life."
"…What is it, Kishitani-sensei?"
The voice that just addressed him as "Kishitani-sensei" would bring to the listener's mind the image of a cold iron plate. The man in white smiled heartily and answered without even turning around.
"White Day, of course!"
"……"
His conversation partner fell silent again. The man in white, Kishitani Shinra, didn't seem to mind as he continued both the handiwork and the dialogue with a visibly flushed face.
"Last month I just got a giri chocolate from the girl I have a crush on. Well, she insisted that it was giri but it was infinitely close to being a 'real' Valentine chocolate……a chocolate so 'real' and surrounded by such an erotic adult-only aura! Yet for the crucial White Day gift I'm still struggling to figure out what to give to her in return…"
"I see. I get what you're trying to say now."
The man with an expressionless face nodded robotically and looked at Shinra with cold eyes as he said:
"…Anyway, I hope you would be kind enough to concentrate on your job at hand for the time being."
The things his gaze was fixated upon were - red, and silver.
The tallish man who lay on the bed had a silver medical tool inserted in the raw red flesh on his arm.
He was somewhere between conscious and unconscious. His eyes were closed, but low groans could be heard escaping his throat every now and then.
"Ah, actually I was just trying to help the patient relax…yep."
Before he finished the sentence, the man in white was already pulling his surgical tweezers from the red flesh on that arm and bringing them over to the tray placed on the bedside table.
A lead-colored piece of metal fell from the tweezers and clanged against the tray despite being soaked in blood.
"Is that really the way you treat a bullet just taken from someone's body?"
The man in white replied matter-of-factly as he heard the question:
"No idea. I'd suggest that you ask a real doctor."
"And I see there's no way you'll ever become one."
"If I may remind you, it was you who entrusted me with this in the first place. If I were a real doctor I wouldn't be operating on a patient in an office unless the circumstances absolutely demand it. Haha."
"Even among underground doctors, you're probably the only one who would fuss about White Day when extracting a bullet."
As the sarcastic remarks from the expressionless man filled the air, the doctor in white stitched the wound in a fluid series of movements.
"That's because you can't afford making a wrong move on White Day any more than when you extract a bullet. Haha. It must have been hell for him when he got shot. It would be pretty chill if he gave whoever shot him some marshmallow-soft strangling in return for this lead-colored piece of chocolate."
The man who just got an operation was at last awake. As he heard Shinra make these remarks as if commenting on the weather, he managed to say in-between groans:
"Big Brother Shiki……can I beat this guy up now……?"
"Hold yourself back. His skills are unquestionable."
The man who had just been addressed as Shiki let out a sigh and said to his subordinate with a cold look in his eyes.
"And I get to go first when we do beat him up."
♂♀
Somewhere in Ikebukuro
"Have you heard of White Day?
He's an iron man born in the land of snow.
He makes Antarctica into shaved ice, he makes the Arctic into Rerere-no-re!"
A van was roaming the Ikebukuro streets.
As he heard this expression from a certain commercial on the radio, Kadota Kyohei, the man sitting in the navigator's seat, frowned and repeated:
"…Rerere-no-…re…?"
"They probably just ran out of ideas after they used 'shaved ice'."
Togusa's answer came from the driver's seat. Kadota sighed as he said:
"Is this really the way you advertise for marshmallow candy?"
The commercial they just heard was apparently from a new confectionary company advertising for its White Day special product.
In the TV version there was a CG of a giant robot doing some ice-shaving with a broom, but the sound of the phrase alone left Kadota with no idea whatsoever of how this marshmallow would taste like. He simply tilted his head in confusion.
"Togusa, have you ever tried that marshmallow?"
"No…I'm not into sweet stuff. For Valentine's Day I only got chocolate from my older and younger sisters."
"I see…Yumasaki and Karisawa, have you ever tried that marshmallow before?"
Kadota asked the man and the woman in the back seat as he looked into the back mirror.
Upon hearing his voice, Yumasaki Walker, the young man with slit eyes who could very well be half-white bent forward as he answered:
"Nah - I don't think we've tried the one in that commercial a moment ago - but that aside, Togusa-san, I'd like detailed information on your older and younger sisters, namely, whether they're 2D or 3D."
"Two……what?"
Not exactly getting what Yumasaki was saying, Togusa shot him a look via the back mirror and asked.
But the one who answered was the female in the back seat.
"Wasn't he asking if the younger and older sisters are figments of Togucchi's imagination?"
After Karisawa Erika bent forward like her male companion and asked this question, the driver looked shocked for a second before roaring back:
"Why do they have to be figments of my imagination!? If all I had to do was imagine things, I'd far rather fantasize about that idol Hijiribe Ruri becoming my girlfriend and…ahhhh, I can't do it! I can't even begin to think what on earth I'm supposed to on a date with Hijiribe Ruri…ahhh! Whatever! You guys, buckle up! I said, buckle up!"
As they listened to Togusa's rants the two people in the back seat buckled up and kept talking:
"Actually I'm pretty fond of seat belts. It makes you feel like you're a pilot of something."
"Ah, me too me too! It makes you feel like you're becoming one with the vehicle, doesn't it? You even get this feeling that the vehicle's going to transform into a robot or something!"
"Don't you even think about transforming my beloved van into a robot!"
But the absurd conversation continued in the back seat despite protests from the driver's seat.
Kadota sighed heavily in the navigator's seat as commotion took over the entire van.
"White Day…I see."
His sighs were met by grinning faces from the two in the back seat.
"Whoa, the way you sighed calls for some serious explanation."
"What what what? Dotachin, have you got any bittersweet memories from White Day?"
"It's nothing like that, you idiot. …Well, it's something the old boys of Raijin High School - now Raira Academy - around my time would definitely be reminded of on White Day…in fact, some have even half-seriously called it the 'Bloody White Day'.
"Anyway. In short, it was about Shizuo and Izaya…"
♂♀
Some years ago, Raijin High School (later Raira Academy), Ikebukuro
"…The hell is this?"
It was the morning of March the 14th.
Regardless of gender, a considerable portion of the student body was looking thrilled for White Day. This young man, however, simply tilted his head like an owl and stared into his shoe box.
His name was Heiwajima Shizuo.
He was a freshman at Raijin High School, though he looked way more mature.
He was later to become an Ikebukuro legend by the name of 'God of Destruction in a bartender suit,' but for now his reputation was limited to rumors circulated among high school students in the neighborhood depicting him as a "ridiculously strong fighter, Raijin High School's Shadow Boss."
But before one could talk about who the "Shadow Boss" was, Raijin High School did not have anyone who claimed to be the "Light Boss" to begin with - not to mention that Shizuo himself was not interested in being a gang leader or marking territories.
Nevertheless, it begs the question of why he had come to be regarded as such -
"Hi there, Shizuo. I heard you kicked some more asses yesterday?"
With a sullen look, Shizuo turned to face the bespectacled boy who had just spoken to him.
"You took them down with a soccer goal in Second Ground, didn't you?"
Anyone would have thought he said these words as some sort of soccer-related metaphor, yet he meant them literally. Kishitani Shinra, the bespectacled student, patted Shizuo on the shoulder as he let out a lighthearted chuckle.
"And then, the manager girl from the Soccer Club cried and said: 'Goal posts are not bats! You shouldn't hit people with them!' didn't she? Though I have to say that the manager was a pretty fearsome personality herself for saying stuff like that when students from other schools lay half-dead around her."
"Then the manager of the Baseball Club yelled something along the lines of 'Bats aren't for hitting people either!" and somehow those two girls began to fight. I went straight home so I have no idea what happened afterwards."
"Well. I would have asked for details on that catfight, but I figure I should tell you that new rumors this morning are already calling you the 'Sorcerer Under the Goal.' The folks from other schools whose asses you kicked started them, I think."
"Like hell I care."
Shizuo answered furiously, though his gaze never moved an inch from his shoe box.
"What's up? Did some sneaky fellow slip kid's slippers into your shoe box? Well, considering how they have no other way to get to you, I wouldn't be surprised…"
Shinra took a look at Shizuo's shoe box as he said these words -
What he saw there was an envelope.
Pink-colored decorations lined the edges of the envelope, which was itself secured with a heart-shaped seal.
Realizing that the contents would most probably fall under the category of 'love letters', Shinra's eyes popped to the size of saucers as he let out a wail.
"What the f - !?"
"There's nothing there to 'what the f' about, idiot."
"Shizuo…I've seen people giving themselves chocolate on Valentine's Day, but it's the first time I've seen anyone slip himself a love letter in his own shoe bobobobobobobo - I'm sorry I'm sozkdsjfdoq - "
Shinra was sent a-flying after the iron claw bit squarely into his face.
Students were hurrying past them and staying as far away from the famous bespectacled oddball and the violence incarnate as they could; the general idea was to have as little to do with them as possible. Neither Shizuo nor Shinra seemed to notice that as the boys hurried to the classrooms, their footsteps were somehow stealthier and quicker than usual.
Shinra, after landing on the floor a couple of seconds later, checked to make sure that his face was still there before he resumed smiling and talking.
"Anyway, I'm guessing it's a prank by those sempais who don't seem to like you very much - that, or some sort of punishment game among girls. Speaking of which, I thought slipping love letters in shoe boxes was out of fashion these days to begin w - "
As soon as Shinra opened his own shoe box, however, his speech came to a sudden halt.
"……What?"
In Shinra's shoe box there was an envelope laced in pink like the one in Shizuo's shoe box.
He opened it -
"I missed the chance to give you something very important on Valentine's Day. I want to exchange it for your cookies. I'll be waiting for you in Raijin High School's Second Ground at 5 p.m.."
He saw something along these lines written in a soft, feminine scribble along with sweet words of confession.
Shinra looked around and noticed something.
Around him, male students arriving at the school opened their shoe boxes, stared at it with unbelieving eyes, and started acting funny right afterwards.
Fully aware of the inappropriateness of his own behavior, Shinra opened several boys' shoe boxes and looked into them just to be sure.
Just as he expected, Shinra found envelopes laced in pink in all of them.
♂♀
Later the same day (before noon), in the Raijin High School library
"Oh, that is a prank by the seniors."
With a refreshing smile on his face, Orihara Izaya, a male student with glossy black hair, opened his mouth to say.
Izaya was leaning onto the side of the window frame, his fingers playing with the tie on the curtain.
"Wasn't there also an uproar when somebody slipped letters that said 'I want your chocolate' in every girl's shoe box last month on Valentine's Day?"
"Yep, there was. They were signed with that sophomore's - Shishizaki-sempai's name."
Shinra nodded. Izaya continued to smile, and said in a histrionic tone:
"That's right. Love letters sent in the name of Shishizaki-sempai, the most sought-after individual at Raijin High School. About a fifth of the girls were tricked into skipping their morning classes and rushing to buy chocolate from the neighborhood…as to Shishizaki-sempai himself, he had been home sick with influenza since several days ago."
"So you're saying the culprits were the same group of gangsters among the seniors? I remember there being this massive gamble on what percentage of the girls would actually come to wait for him at a certain designated spot after school."
"…Stupid."
The somewhat pissed-off voice came from Shizuo, who was leaning onto a nearby window frame.
He was audibly grinding his teeth, and veins could be seen popping from his temples.
Taking notice of how pissed off Shizuo already was, Shinra continued to ask Izaya questions.
"But the seniors are having a day off today because of tomorrow's commencement. I doubt they'd come to school just to pull this prank on people. Also, wouldn't people realize it's them if they've already pulled this kind of prank last month?"
"They'd realize that only if they talked to other male students about this. Yet, there are always fools out there who would keep this to themselves and feel buoyant over this little letter they got in their shoe box without bothering to verify it by collecting information from others. It's a gamble, so even if no one comes the event could still stand on its own."
"…Stupid things these fools do…"
As the thunderclouds gathered on Shizuo's face, Izaya cast him a look and smiled.
"Alas, alas, Shizu-chan, why are you looking so mad? Isn't it a good thing that I let you know it was a prank before you fell for it?"
Crack, came the noise of something bring ground to smithereens.
Apparently, the window frame that Shizuo's hand had been resting upon was now flowing from his hand in the form of iron powder.
"……Stop calling me Shizu-chan."
"Oooh, I'm so scared. Still, why are you fuming? Let me guess. When you got the love letter, your heart couldn't possibly have soared with the thought that the spring of your life had finally come, could it?"
"It never occurred to you that I'm mad……because I had to listen to your voice for so long, did it, IZAYA-KUN……?"
"Hey, wasn't it you who came to me asking if I knew anything about it? Shinra, you should remind him too. You could have just not come to me if you didn't want to see my face, right?"
Izaya forced a smile as he turned his eyes to Shinra.
But Shinra tilted his head and said:
"No, actually…Shizuo and I were talking in this library when you, Izaya, came to us asking 'So you guys got love letters too?' Only then did I ask you if you knew anything about it."
"Really? My memories must have flown away in fear because Shizu-chan's face was too scary."
"……"
Izaya looked away as he dodged the question. Shizuo looked as if he could explode at any moment.
The number of students in the library had been in steep decline from the moment Izaya and Shizuo cast their eyes on each other. By now, everyone other than Shinra, Izaya and Shizuo was gone except one male student standing in front of the shelves reading with gusto.
"Anyhow, you can't start fighting here. You must keep quiet in the library."
Shinra placed himself in between the duo who were about to get into a fistfight, patting them on their respective shoulders.
"Well, I for one will feel bad if the library gets destroyed. How about we call it a day for now?"
The bespectacled young man said, smiling, as he dragged Shizuo by the hand towards the library entrance.
Shizuo still looked as if he was going to tear Izaya's throat to shreds with his teeth as Shinra dragged him out of the library. The only thing that had kept him from going berserk was the common sense deeply ingrained in him since his childhood: when in the library, stay quiet.
When he did go berserk, however, even basic common sense like 'you shouldn't hit people with sign posts' would disappear from his head altogether.
Still leaning onto the window frame, Izaya watched the two leave as he called out to them with a smirk on his face.
"I think those seniors are waiting in the warehouse on Second Ground to see how their prank goes!"
Silence reigned again in the library after Shizuo had left with Shinra.
However, it was soon broken by a voice that addressed Izaya from between the shelves.
"Don't make too much of a rumpus in the library."
"Oops, Dotachin, I didn't realize that you were here."
The male student who had just been called "Dotachin" looked around to make sure nobody was in the library except Izaya and himself. Turning his gaze back to the book in his hand, he asked matter-of-factly:
"…So, what are you up to this time?"
"That hurts. You're making it sound like I'm always up to something."
"'Sound like'? You actually are behind those things, aren't you? You were behind the trouble our sophomores got into recently with the 'Dragon Zombie' clan. Also, Shishizaki-sempai wasn't down with influenza. He got injured fighting the head of the other gang one-on-one, didn't he?"
Upon hearing this, Izaya wiped his smile off his face. Instead he asked with a provocative look in his eyes:
"You sound very well-informed…but do you have any proof that I was behind those things?"
The student who had just been called "Dotachin", however, continued to speak with an air of indifference, not moving his gaze away from the book.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I don't give a damn what you do as long as you don't get me or people around me into trouble."
"……"
Izaya fell silent for a moment before letting a smile creep over his face again and narrowing his eyes.
"Haha, if Shizu-chan is the Shadow Boss, you would definitely be the Light Boss."
"I'm not interested. It's true we don't have any seniors who could take that title, but still, if anyone should be called the Light Boss, it would be the sophomore, Shishizaki-sempai. Either way, it has nothing to do with me."
"There, there, don't be too modest. To express my gratitude for your apathy, I'll tell you exactly what I'm up to today."
"Hm?"
Izaya continued to talk in his calm tone to "Dotachin", who never looked away from his book.
"Well, now that I think about it, I've already used those senior sempais on a quite a lot of occasions for different purposes. It looks like they're starting to figure out that I was behind it all. I think they already put my name on the list of people they'll pay friendly visits to after the commencement.
"That's why I chose to, well, cause them some confusion today."
♂♀
Back side of Second Ground, Raijin High School, Ikebukuro
Situated not far away from the Ikebukuro Station, the Second Ground was a lawned piece of property owned by Raijin High School.
Though the main campus also had its own sporting grounds, most of the sports clubs preferred to avoid getting into fights with other clubs over the right to use them, choosing to come here to practice instead.
The Swimming Club and the Pantomime Club seemed to be using the ground right now. As a means of shaping up the lower body the Swimming Club members were busy running next to about fifty Pantomime Club members, who were practicing group pantomime. It was quite a sight for the average passer-by.
At the back of the physical education tools warehouse outside the sporting ground, they found the warped frame of a soccer goal with scattered blood stains on it.
"Wow, you sure raised some hell yesterday."
Kishitani Shinra shrugged in amazement as they walked along the backside of the sporting ground.
"Ah, it looks like some people have already fallen for that prank and are heading this way."
Quite a few male students were walking towards the ground with cookies and letters. As soon as they saw that others were holding similar letters, however, most realized immediately that they'd been tricked and turned hurriedly to leave.
The ones who didn't at first did so as soon as they saw Shizuo's face.
"……Che……"
Shizuo spat furiously as he saw the way the boys reacted to his presence.
"……Screw them all, utter cowards……"
"But Shizuo, you have quite a sense of duty in you. Even after what Izaya told us, you came all the way here just in case yours turns out to be the only real letter."
"I had to. Kasuka's always saying, 'Brother, you're bad with words. That's all the more reason to cherish every letter you send or receive.' …Also, I thought I had to come meet the sempais who pulled this shitty prank on people, too."
"……"
- The sight of Izaya's face was making you mad, so you just have to kick some asses to vent your anger. Isn't that the only reason?
Shinra didn't voice these thoughts to Shizuo. It was better to let sleeping dogs lie.
The two of them stood in front of the warehouse, in which the sempais had supposedly gathered to see their prank unfold. They pushed the door open -
A cacophony of footsteps filled the space around them; seconds later, they were surrounded by a ring of people.
"Eh, what's going on?"
"……"
Inside the warehouse were around twenty seniors that presumably belonged to the delinquent group. Dozens more must have been hiding in the bushes next to the warehouse. By now they had formed a semicircle against the warehouse wall. The atmosphere suddenly turned un-White-Day-ish as the seniors revealed the weapons in their hands, which ranged from wooden katanas to chains and steel pipes.
Shizuo and Shinra had nowhere to run. A male voice sounded from within the warehouse.
"…Heiwajima Shizuo…we've been letting you off the hook so far. I guess that made you think we're afraid of you?"
- Letting him off the hook?
- It's more like you were just too afraid to touch him.
Naturally, Shinra didn't voice his thoughts aloud. Instead he waited for Shizuo's reaction.
"…Huh?"
Shizuo frowned in bewilderment. The senior Raijin student produced an envelope from his chest pocket and tore it to pieces in front of Shizuo.
"Now you're slipping things like these…into my family mailbox in the morning…!"
It was the same kind of envelope laced in pink that Shizuo and all other male students received in their shoe boxes.
"You sons of bitches…you placed bets on how many of us would come to this place, didn't you? Ahhh? What were you thinking? That the school is your territory now that we're graduating? I bet you never expected to be ambushed like this, though, did you?"
There were traces of tears in the senior's eyes. Shinra couldn't help but speculate that he too had thought the letter was real and got all excited for a moment.
- Wait.
- Weren't these sempais supposed to be the ones who prepared the letters?
- I see. So it was Izaya…!
Shizuo seemed to have come to the same conclusion as Shinra.
"…That…fucking flea."
Shizuo opened his mouth to speak despite his burning fury at finding out that he had been used as Izaya's scapegoat.
"Wait a moment please, sempai. We got those letters too - "
He was planning to explain the whole situation and suggest that they go beat up Izaya together -
But something hit Shizuo's head.
Namely, a heavy brick that had been part of the curbing of a nearby flowerbed.
"Shut up! No one wants your shitty excuses!"
The one who had thrown the brick stood up and yelled.
"We were planning on beating the crap out of you as soon as we graduate anyway! We've only done one-on-one with you thus far because it was the rule, but we're not gonna fucking care about the rules after graduation! You'd better brace yourself for that!"
More bricks flew almost parallel to the ground in his direction.
The attack could have killed Shizuo, yet he merely lowered his head.
"I see…so you were going to beat me up either way."
Slowly yet steadily, he managed to wrangle more words out of his throat with his head still lowered.
"I told myself to hold back because I thought you were also victims of that flea's prank, but it no longer seems necessary…"
Slowly, his body began to shudder.
"And fuck your logic that says it's OK to gang up on people after you graduate…have you got no honor as a human before you talk about rules of being a high school student…??"
While delivering his lecture, Shizuo grabbed the throat of a guy who was trying to sneak up on him with a steel pipe -
- and sent him flying, with more force than any brick, into the throng of men in the warehouse.
"Eh? Wait, what the, waahhhhhhhhh!?"
Apparently the sight was too new for the leader of the gang, who was visibly taken aback - before the flying man's skull hit him squarely in the face.
The next day was supposed to be Commencement Day at Raijin High School.
Instead, however, the graduating class made history. Out of the 300 seniors, 50 were hospitalized and unable to attend. Heiwajima Shizuo had also sullied his record further by getting suspended from the school until the closing ceremony.
During his suspension, Heiwajima Shizuo was seen chasing Orihara Izaya almost daily in the Ikebukuro streets - but that would be a story for another day.
♂♀
Now, an apartment on the side of Kawagoe Highway
"…So that was the incident on what they later referred to as the 'Bloody White Day.'"
Kishitani Shinra looked reasonably grown up in his white coat.
Still carrying his toolbox under his arm as he sat down in the chair, he continued to talk to the figure standing next to him.
"There were lots of other things that happened during my attendance. There was the 'Pool of Hell Opens - Chlorine Gas Everywhere!' incident, the 'Real Flesh Art in the Art Room' incident, the 'Cultural Festival Campfire Explosion' incident, and, of course, the 'Field Trip to the Shambles - Okinawa Arc'…during my three-year period in Raijin, gasoline drums were routinely rolled down from school buildings. Alas, it's hard to believe how calm and orderly this school has become nowadays."
A PDA was shoved in the man's face as he lingered in nostalgia.
[I see. So what was the point of telling me this bloody story again?]
"I wanted to let you know that for Raijin alumni around my time, White Day more or less stood for letters and blood."
[Hmmm…]
"I know you can't eat sweets, Celty, so I really had a hard time trying to figure out what to get you instead…and then I decided to tell you this story. It shows how important communication is. Things wouldn't have ended nearly as badly had the sempais bothered to communicate with Shizuo."
As he said these words, the man in white offered the toolbox he was holding to the figure in the black rider suit.
"Therefore, I present to you my return gift for your Valentine's Day chocolate. Open it, Celty."
The figure that had just been addressed as "Celty" opened the box, which turned out to be filled with letters.
[…What's this?]
"Letters full of words of love from me to Celty!"
[……]
Whatever her thoughts had been, that was all Celty typed onto the PDA screen.
She noticed, however, that something lay at the bottom of the bundle of letters. It was not another letter.
She took it out and saw that it was a brand new PDA.
[This……]
"Oh, that? That comes free of charge with the letters. Didn't you say that you wanted one?"
[Eh T Th Thank y t opu]
Apparently she was too taken aback to type properly.
[Eh, but, this, isn't this expensive?]
"No problem. I don't care about the price. Shouldn't I only care about how you'd feel when it comes to things like these?"
[That's not what you should be saying when giving out expensive gifts like this! I don't feel good at all! Even if I gave you an entire box of chocolates, we would still not be even!]
After showing Shinra these words on the screen, Celty hurried out of the apartment.
"Wait, Celty! The letters are the main gift so you should actually read them…"
But Celty was no longer within earshot.
That night, Kishitani Shinra ended up having to eat hundreds of chocolate bars Celty had bought him. It was said, however, that he had nevertheless spent the chocolate-colored White Day with happiness on his face.
HAPPY END HAPPY END
To be continued in - Everyone Gets Along - April