DURARARA!! Gaiden Vol. 1: Kishitani Shinra
DURARARA!!
- Everyone Gets Along - February
Is it a twisted story?
Or a story of twisted love?
♂♀
Spring of a certain year
Chatroom "DEUS EX MAJIKA!?" (a)
…
…
…
Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!
Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!
Tsukumoya Shinichi's turn!
Boy A, reborn!
Tsukumoya Shinichi
'Ello
Tsukumoya Shinichi
I'm Tsukumoya. Tsukumoya Shinichi
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Well, you probably know that just looking at my name. That was unnecessary
Tsukumoya Shinichi
So, Mr. "Boy A", is this your first time coming to this chatroom?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Did you hear about it from Orihara Izaya?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Oh, you don't have to reply to anything
Tsukumoya Shinichi
You can, but this place is still a work in progress
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Only things I type show up on the screen
Tsukumoya Shinichi
But I'll know what you've typed when you've typed them, so we can communicate
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Also, I was allowed to see what you did on the Internet before coming here
Tsukumoya Shinichi
So I more or less have an idea of what you want to know
Tsukumoya Shinichi
You can believe or not believe me, it's up to you
Tsukumoya Shinichi
I didn't do any hacking, so rest assured. I just watched
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Anyway, let's not waste our time on the details
Tsukumoya Shinichi
You want to know about the Black Motorbike, don't you?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Or are you more interested in the secrets of the mysterious gang called Dollars? Oops, perhaps even in the identity of the Slasher, who made headlines a while back?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
True, I know an unreasonable amount of stuff. I can talk about lots of things
Tsukumoya Shinichi
But still, you can't expect me to talk about everything in every last detail
Tsukumoya Shinichi
The identity of the Black Motorbike, the secrets of the news-making Dollars, the culprit behind the Slasher appearances, and all the other things I know - I know slightly more about each of them than you do, I think
Tsukumoya Shinichi
But even if I were to tell you the answers right away, you wouldn't have said 'Oh, is that so' and just believed me. Besides, these things are way too important for me to just skip to the answer part here, anyway
Tsukumoya Shinichi
It's like only asking to see the ending of a movie, you know. Even if you're OK with it, I am not
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Well, we still have time. Let's take it easy, shall we?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Yeah, why don't we start today from the story…about a year ago?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
This is the story of a man and a woman
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Of a man and a woman, as well as the people of Ikebukuro, during Valentine's Day
(a) "Majika!?" means "For real!?" in Japanese.
♂♀
February 13th of a certain year, an apartment building on Kawagoe Highway, Ikebukuro
"Have you heard of Valentine?
He's a hero from Jupiter.
Breaking the mountains to eradicate the bad, commanding the skies to bring wealth forth - "
These phrases came from a commercial playing on the TV screen.
Featured in the commercial was the 50-meter-tall hero, Valentine Titan, who had come to Earth. He transformed villains and giant meteorites into chocolate, which he devoured with vigor.
With his eyes on the somewhat eccentric ad campaign, the man let a smile appear on his face, sweet as chocolate.
"Hey, do you know the date today?"
Sitting on the table with a sharp design, the man looked at the screen of his laptop as he said so.
Then - the reply from his conversation partner appeared in the chat window on the screen.
[February 13th]
The screen gave him a clear and concise answer.
The man, however, remained smiling. With a face like that of a child's on Christmas Eve, he asked again:
"So, what day is it tomorrow?"
Several seconds after he said these words, obviously not to himself -
Somehow, an answer appeared on the chat screen, despite the fact that the man had never typed these words into the chat window.
[It's the day of St. Valentine's execution. Or, to be more respectful, his martyrdom.]
"Your tongue sure runs nineteen to the dozen. I'm surprised that you know that. Should I take it that you've been aware of this special day for a while?"
[There was a question about it on the TV quiz program this evening.]
"…Well, that aside, rather than what you said, I think it's more like…a day for paying tribute to this person by confirming one's love for one's partner, don't you think?"
Although it looked as if he was talking to the laptop, the man carried on, his cheeks a shade of pink.
In response to the man's voice, words appeared unperturbed in the chat window, calm and indifferent.
[True, it's common to exchange message cards and stuff in the West. However, it's not a religion that I subscribe very strongly to.]
"That's not what I'm trying to get at…I mean, there is also the view that St. Valentine's martyrdom took place in summer, so it's hard to tell if it happened at all…what I'm saying is, didn't the Japanese people already start a completely unique culture around it to promote sales? One that nothing to do with religion?"
[Well, I know that it exists.]
The words remained indifferent. The man inhaled deeply and said with determination:
"…I'm a man of few wants and desires. That said, I will state it loudly and clearly. …I want chocolate from you, my most beloved woman in the world, no, in history. In fact, please give me chocolate! Please!"
The man's eyes shone as he said these words, so straightforward that they sounded not the least bit exaggerated or falsified.
But the reply that appeared on the laptop was indifferent as ever.
[I have two things to say to that. Being of 'few wants and desires' is supposed to mean that you don't ask for much, isn't it? I don't see that quality in you at all. You ask for things of that sort every Christmas, don't you? Secondly, I'm not interested in any culture that is about food.]
"It's not about food! It's about love! They say 'The longest and shortest distance is that between a man and a woman,' and it's the same thing with food and love! There's only a fine line between the desire for food and the desire for love, but for our purposes let's assume that they're different! Please!"
[I'm tired of you saying 'Please.']
Even though his shoulders collapsed as his plea was turned down without hesitation, the man remained smiling and said:
"I should be 'grinding my teeth and clenching my wrist' at your answer, but I'm actually happy about the disappointment. The very fact that I'm able to have this kind of conversation with you is making me endlessly happy. In a way, we have already proven the love between us, haven't we?"
The overly fond and almost presumptuously sweet words sounded like they were directed at the woman he loved, yet -
No reply came from the chat window on the laptop.
No matter how long he waited.
- No matter how long he waited.
"…I'm being ignored!?"
♂♀
30 minutes later, Russian Sushi, Ikebukuro
"Speaking of which…I really want her chocolate."
Said the man who had just been chatting with his love in his apartment.
……
"That's not something you talk about in a sushi bar…"
The one who replied was a man in a bartender suit and sunglasses.
One would easily mistake him for a waiter, but he was actually a customer too. Sitting next to the guy in the white coat, he was eating egg sushi.
"True love knows no borders, and my desire for her Valentine's chocolate knows not what kind of restaurant I'm in. If only I could get Valentine's chocolate from my love…if she even made it herself…even if it's only chocolate sushi with bars of chocolate on vinegar and rice! Oh, just picture, the East meets the West in a single Valentine's gift…"
He had to stop at this.
A loud bang sounded as his head was threatened by immense pressure.
"Don't make me picture something like that…!"
"Wait, wait, calm down, Shizuo! My skull's cracking! And the bones in my neck ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
…
The next second, however, a huge hand grabbed the hand of the man in the bartender suit.
"Oh, Shizuo, it's no good. If you squeeze, the young doctor's head is going to burst. It's gonna be redder than red rice when it bursts. You can't make sushi with that. Eat, eat, eat sushi."
The black man who stood there was over two meters tall.
"Many sushi bars serve chocolate sundae as desserts. So when you talk about chocolate in a sushi bar, talk about chocolate, not sushi. Eat, eat, eat sushi."
The huge guy smiled as he talked in funny Japanese.
Shizuo pondered this for a moment -
"…You're right, they do have desserts in a lot of sushi bars."
And with that he let go of the head of the man in the white coat as if everything in the world seemed alright to him again.
The man in white fell back into his chair as his body was released from mid-air.
"Geez, that hurts a lot…Shizuo, I think all the calcium that should have helped your nervous system function has been allocated to your bones instead. Anyway…she doesn't eat a lot, so I haven't really brought her here or anywhere for dinners yet. But I'll introduce her to you when I get the chance, Simon."
"Oh. You have someone you like. It is good. When the boss brings his mistress, we earn extra profit. Food is better when you eat it with everybody. Bring your wife and mistress here, no problem."
"I don't think food would necessarily taste better in that kind of situation."
"Too bad that I will only love her and no one else, so I probably can't bring my mistress here."
As Shinra said that with a madly-in-love expression on his face, a plate of sushi covered with something that looked like transparent black pearls was placed in front of him.
"…What is this, Sir? Rice with toppings?"
Shinra asked the silent white man standing behind the counter.
"Caviar."
"…But I didn't order this."
The owner of the sushi bar held a cleaver in his hand and replied matter-of-factly.
"This is my way of charging you for nauseating and scaring my other customers and making it difficult for me to make money. I made three servings. Eat them all.
" - At any rate, just by sitting here in that kind of clothing you're making it look like my place's being inspected by the Health Bureau or something. That's not conducive to good business."
♂♀
An apartment in Shinjuku
"God, what a mean man. All I did was talk about love and chocolate, and he felt like it was a good enough reason to intimidate me. I should have studied law more."
The room was dimly lit.
The man in white was crawling up in an expensive-looking sofa as he complained.
The one who was listening was no longer the guy in the bartender suit. Instead, it was a young man in brand casual clothing with eyes that looked remarkably sharp.
"An underground doctor says he wants to study law more…I see."
The young man in the black T-shirt said sarcastically.
He reached out his hand for the steel shelves as he asked the man who was dressed in the complete opposite color.
"Whatever. Did you come here in a cab dressed like that?"
"No, I took the Yamanote Line."
"…Whatever. So you want chocolate. And you were overcharged at the sushi bar. Did you come all the way to Shinjuku just to complain to me about these?"
"What can I do? I can only complain to either you or Shizuo."
The young man in black smiled hollowly.
"Do I look like I have a lot of time to kill to you?"
"No. But Izaya, you and Shizuo are the only friends I've got. Even Shishizaki-sempai hasn't been that close with me recently."
"…I'd rather that you cut your ties with Shizu-chan as soon as you possibly can. As for the chocolate…"
Izaya's hollow smile looked more twisted than ever as he handed a flyer to Shinra.
"It's made by an old chocolate factory in Germany. They have a pretty curious trademark design with a succubus on it. Rumor has it that it's got the magical power to capture your dream man - it's now a bestseller throughout Japan, it seems."
"Hmm - well, there are global coffee shop chains out there with sirens on their trademarks. But a succubus is still pretty new."
"It entered the Japanese market last year. An urban legend among high school girls says that it works like an aphrodisiac - turns the recipient immediately into your love slave, or something like that…it's got no effect of that sort, of course."
"But you never know. Rumors are out there for a reason. Maybe a real succubus is behind this whole chocolate business."
Izaya laughed as Shinra said with a serious face.
"Really, for an underground doctor you do dream a lot of the impossible…but I am very sure that the rumors about this chocolate are completely unfounded."
"Why?"
"Because I started them."
"…I knew it."
Izaya continued undisturbed as Shinra shook his head looking annoyed.
"Anyhow. You repeat the same lie 100 times and it becomes the truth…that happens a lot. From the men's perspective, it's also pretty gratifying to receive such chocolates from cute girls…so gratifying, in fact, that they probably won't object to becoming their love slaves anyway."
"I suppose you have a point…but why are you showing me this?"
"Go buy one of those chocolates. I don't know who your girl is, but you just give it to her and you'll be alright."
Shinra shook his head at Izaya's blatant suggestion.
"But it's not White Day."
"You don't know about it? It's called 'reverse chocolate giving'. It's actually pretty popular for boys to give girls chocolates for Valentine's nowadays."
"Really?"
"Yeah, although it has yet to become a nationwide trend. Or…"
Izaya paused for a moment here and resumed talking with a sly smile on his face.
"Is your love so weak as to be still bound by the stupid tradition that says only girls can give boys chocolates on Valentine's?"
Shinra fell into deep thought for a few seconds at Izaya's jeering remark. Then -
"You're absolutely right!"
He nodded with an astoundingly fresh smile.
♂♀
Inside a van somewhere in Ikebukuro
A van roamed the streets of Ikebukuro.
In the back seat, a man and a woman were having a cheerful conversation.
"That reminds me - who are you giving chocolate to, Karisawa-san?"
"Hmm, I'm planning to give some to every guy I know. Do you want some, Yumacchi?"
"Really?! I want the one with the succubus design! Maybe a succubus will visit me in my sleep if I eat it! Even if it's 3D, I'd take a succubus if it came in the shape of a pretty Nordic girl!"
"Wait, if a chocolate could do that, I'd eat it myself! There's something so excitingly perverted about the idea of a succubus girl transforming herself into a beautiful boy to seduce me!"
An astounded voice came from the navigator's seat in response to the thrilled duo.
"You guys…I'm not going to point out everything that's wrong about what you said, but are you sure you understand the point of Valentine's Day…?"
The duo in the back seat resumed their chatter, ignoring the comment.
"Ah, but there's no way we can get it this year. No matter where you go, they say it's sold out in the stores within 30 minutes."
"Wow, I knew it! Everyone wants to meet a succubus!"
"Exactly!"
The man in the navigator heaved a deep, deep sigh as he heard the duo conclude with confidence.
♂♀
"Huh…"
Under a cold starlit sky, the steam he breathed was white, pure, unadulterated white.
The man was heaving a deep sigh just like the man in the navigator seat of the van.
"That Izaya…he got my hopes up just to trick me."
The man in white ended up going home after midnight. The date was already the 14th.
"Everywhere I went, they told me that it sold out in the stores within 30 minutes. He totally knew that…"
After spending half a day looking for the chocolate in question and failing to find any, the man was exhausted both physically and mentally.
He opened the apartment door and dragged himself in with tired feet.
"I'm home."
He said, pressing a key on the laptop, which had remained on.
The screensaver disappeared to reveal the same chat window that had been displayed before he left.
As it did so, new words popped up on the window.
[Welcome back. Where did you go?]
"I was on a journey to find love, if you will. I ended up losing my direction after pacing back and forth for a long time, though."
[I have no idea what you're talking about, but you look tired.]
"Thank you. The fact that you're worrying about me puts meaning into my life."
The man was not joking; he was voicing his true feelings. New words appeared in the chat window.
[I don't know what you were doing, but if you're tired, you should eat something sweet.]
"Eh?"
[Try opening that drawer.]
- !
- It can't be!
Anticipation seized the man in white like an electric current. He pulled the drawer open at lightning speed.
What he found there - was the fabled chocolate wrapped in packaging with a gothic design and a trademark featuring the image of a beautiful female with devil's wings.
[It's what they call giri chocolate. (b) I bought it because you asked too many times and it annoyed me.]
"B-But this is the one that sold out several days ago, isn't it…"
[…You must have misheard.]
The man in white realized something.
He realized why she was acting so upset this morning.
If this chocolate, which had sold out days ago, was here, it could only mean that it had already gotten here by this morning.
Despite that, he had assumed that she had not prepared any chocolate for him, and pestered her for it.
As he realized that he was to blame, he shuddered and slapped his own cheek.
"What did I just do! I know all too well that if a kid is told to 'study' by his parents when he's already trying to study, he'll lose his motivation and become bitter! Yet, I have done the exact same thing to you, my love! I was truly 'judging a book by its cover'! Ahh, I'm so sorry. To make it up to you, I will love you even more from now on - "
As he shouted these words, he ran into the neighboring room for some reason.
Several seconds later, the words "You're too loud" appeared in the chat screen on his laptop, and a knocking sound was heard from the neighboring room -
- as were the overly happy wails of the man in white.
(b) "Giri" chocolate is given to male friends and acquaintances, as opposed to "honmei" chocolate, which is given to the object of romantic affection.
♂♀
Chatroom "DEUS EX MAJIKA!?"
Tsukumoya Shinichi
So, let's call it a day for now. Lots of things happened on White Day as well, but I'd say we save that for later
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Are you curious about the identities of the man and woman in the story I told you today?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Like, why did she have to bother to use a chat window if she was in the neighboring room?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
…Hey, try to think for yourself before you start bombarding me with questions
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Is the man in white actually the Black Motorbike, you ask?
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Don't get too impatient. If you want the answer that badly, you should try to get hold of the Black Motorbike yourself.
Tsukumoya Shinichi
You may think that there's no point in delving into mere urban legends, but the town of Ikebukuro - no, the numerous towns of the world - are like living creatures in their own right
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Interpersonal relationships are like current signals within their brain content called the human society
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Anyway, you may not have realized this, but the story I just told you has something to do with what you wanted to know
Tsukumoya Shinichi
But even so, I feel like it's a little too early to wrap up
Tsukumoya Shinichi
…Alright, there's something that can be said in general about the Black Motorbike and Dollars
Tsukumoya Shinichi
OK, so I'll tell you that one "rumor"
Tsukumoya Shinichi
A rumor is a rumor, so you can choose to believe it or not
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Nevertheless, this rumor has become part of the persona of the town named Ikebukuro, which is made up of people
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Keep listening with that in mind
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Let's first talk about this one boy
Tsukumoya Shinichi
His name is…well, to protect his privacy, we shall call him Taro-kun
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Since he was born, this boy had never stepped out of his hometown, until he came to the metro district called Ikebukuro this spring
Tsukumoya Shinichi
…You're thinking that he has something to do with the Black Motorbike? …Could be
Tsukumoya Shinichi
As I said before, a town is made up of interpersonal relationships. If you are to trace back long enough, you'll find that no two events or two persons are completely unrelated.
Tsukumoya Shinichi
…So, he was feeling overwhelmed as it was his first time in a metropolis. Maybe he even muttered that he would like to go home and felt like he was going to cry
Tsukumoya Shinichi
At that moment, someone came to pick up Taro-kun. The boy was his childhood friend, who had already made Ikebukuro his home
Tsukumoya Shinichi
And then, the boy met various people in this city
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Including the ones who appeared in my story
Tsukumoya Shinichi
So, have you made up your mind? Once I have told you their story, you will also have some relation with Taro-kun, his childhood friend, and the Black Motorbike
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Once you become related to them, you will become part of the town named Ikebukuro, whether you're in it or thousands of miles away from it
Tsukumoya Shinichi
If you wouldn't like that, just press the exit button
Tsukumoya Shinichi
If, however, you'd like to stay and hear the story I'm about to tell -
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Then I, Tsukumoya Shinichi, shall welcome you, the newest piece of Ikebukuro as well as its newest master
Tsukumoya Shinichi
Welcome, Boy A - welcome to Ikebukuro!
♂♀
This is a twisted story.
A story of twisted relationships.
To be continued in the next DVD, or - Everyone Gets Along - March