DURARARA Vol.5 The Shinra Monologues.
Note: this comes after the part where Shizuo and Tom take Akane to Shinra's.
Lovey-Dovey Prattles of an Underground Doctor, Part III
Don't worry, she's sound asleep.
My expertise is not internal medicine, but I think she has some sort of acute adenoiditis.
Eh? Teething fever?
Nah, only babies and kindergarten kids get teething fever. You don't seriously believe people get fevers just from thinking too much, do you?
But then Shizuo's brain is as developed as a kindergarten kid so maybe you do still get teething fevers ehhhhhh -
.......
Shizuo, you realize a flick of your finger in my forehead does as much damage as a knee kick from any other person, don't you? Then try to be more careful, please? What, concussion? How long have I been unconscious?
Graceful God, I wouldn't have believed it had I been told that one day I'd have to relocate my own jaw. Not that it's a big deal though considering the number of jaws I've dislocated and relocated through all these years...
......Speaking of which, my grandfather had once choked on a slice of rice cake. Father just dislocated his jaw and snatched the chunk of rice cake from his throat with his hand. He only does that in an absolute emergency, I figure.
I think I've talked enough. Who exactly is that little girl?
I didn't find anything on her that gives any real clue.
......"Haven't been doing weird stuff to her have you?" ......what's that supposed to mean?
Hello? Before I even get started on where you got the idea that I might be into lolis, do you seriously think I would hit any girl other than Celty? Had it been Celty who was shaking from her fever and muttering things on that bed, I'd have done away with the blanket and warmed her with my body instead!
Really, if Celty hadn't existed, I'd probably already be living a hermit's life somewhere in the mountains and killing my time with elegant hobbies.
If anything could even remotely rival Celty's beauty, it would have to be the grand Earth herself - that's what I would have told people. But honestly, I still feel like Celty is more beautiful......what do you guys think?
......Shizuo, that Tom-san has been eyeing me with a pitying look on his face for a while now. Why is that?
Why aren't you saying anything?
Well whatever.
Hmm? Celty?
Celty is out working for Shiki-san from Awakusu-kai today.
Yep, Shiki-san.
Medei Group - the bigger organization they belong to - is coalescing with Asuki Group. Lots of stuff to be done, it seems...and they said they were entrusting Celty with something important.
......
Ah, that's true. I can't honestly say I'm not worried about her.
Awakusu-kai is in that kind of business, you see?
A lovely girl like Celty just doesn't belong in this kind of shambles with bullets flying around and the smell of blood in the air......of course that was a lie. She's like born to be in it.
The Black Rider blazing her trail among soaring bullets. Isn't that just cool?
But I do still worry about her. I'd rather that she moved together with me all the time, but unfortunately I wouldn't have had a better chance of surviving such situations than a clothed pile of limbs.
Ahh, Celty is strong so I can rest assured.
Celty is strong. Both mentally and physically.
Speaking of which, Shizuo, people probably don't notice because you're too ridiculously overpowering, but Celty is pretty powerful in her own right, too.
She can bend a steel pipe with her hands if she wants to.
She easily recovers from car crashes as if nothing had happened. Well, not that it doesn't hurt for her, but still.
She can take on at least ten average delinquents with no problem. But thirty might be a little taxing on her mental strength.
She's irrationally afraid of certain occult rumors and the White Motorbike. But that only makes her more adorable as a girl in my opinion.
She's strong and adorable. Isn't that just ideal?
But I wouldn't let you have her, Shizuo. Though she's on really good terms with you. You know that gets me jealous at times, right?
......Eh? Tom-san? What's with that face?
Celty? Yeah, that's her name. She's the Black Rider.
"So it's a she"......? Shizuo, you didn't tell him that part?
......Ehhh? You didn't know Celty was a woman either until recently!? But Shizuo!
I can't believe it!
But just look at how beautifully she walks! How her gorgeous curves peep out from under those shadows! Anyone would desire her for that kind of charm!
That's right......she doesn't need to have a head for me to love her, so she doesn't need to have a head to be erotically attractive to me, either. Ever since high school I've never found any ordinary girl even remotely attractive. Celty is the only exception. When I was a kid, Celty was like a reliable older sister to me. Now that I've grown up, Celty is like a cute little kitten. Though I guess you can say I'm more like a mouse in her hands.
......Sorry. I got carried away with my lovey-dovey talk. But I don't regret it.
So back to the little girl we have here.
She saw you for like the first time in her life and told you to "Die!". Shizuo, what exactly have you done to deserve that?
I know you probably don't recall having done anything of that sort, but Shizuo, you're the type of person who gets hated before you can realize the consequences of what you've done.
Let's take, say, a random tree on the sidewalk you uprooted to use as a weapon for example.
If that happened to have been the special tree for a girl who lost her mother on the very day this tree budded......you would have killed the tree she held as dear as her substitute mother. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd hate you enough for it to want you dead......
Well, that was just an analogy.
But still, that's a more plausible explanation in my opinion than saying that the girl is just some sort of undiscriminating killing machine.
Eh, Saika?
I don't think so. Her eyes didn't turn red, did they?
Well, point is, whatever the reason the killers might have on their part, people's lives are more easily after than they usually think.
Not that being aware of that fact would have helped you, though.
These things just happen out of the blue.
Sometimes due to misunderstandings they escalate to the level of mutual hostility.
But at any rate, your getting mad isn't going to waver her killing intent against you. You need to figure out how to deal with this situation.
Not to mention it might not have been a misunderstanding on her part after all.
Trivial things you did in the past might have turned someone else's life upside down. That happens, and it happens a lot.
Though there are people who would do such "trivial things" on purpose.
Like Izaya.
Oops. Now you're officially looking grumpy.
It's about time you two made it up with each other.
......But then you've never really been on good terms to begin with, have you?
Wow, that just makes me all nostalgic. I miss high school.
We were so green and young back then. Or should I say red?
- Since there was always nothing but blood around you and Izaya.
Thanks to you two, I got much better at dealing with broken bones and stitching wounds. Haha.
I can't really say that I dislike Izaya.
He's nothing but true. True to his own desires.
In the same way you're true to your emotions, in fact.
Though in Izaya's case it would have been much better had his desire been just money or women.
But no, it just had to be this inexplicable thing called human observation.
It just gets on your nerves when people observe others and get all haughty about it, doesn't it? It's as if he thinks he's superior to everyone else.
But he's good at sensing other people's moods. He usually won't let you hate him - all he does is estimate your mood with precision and speak the words that waver you the most at the exact time you cannot bring yourself to hate him for saying them.
......Tom-san, were you going to say something? Please go ahead.
......Eh, I look like I'm the kind of person who likes to observe and feel all superior, too......? That's not flattering. Why do I get hated so much?
Well. As long as Celty doesn't hate me, I don't really care.
Anyway. I really want to hang out with you guys again like we did back in Raijin.
Back then it was part of my daily routine to find a spot at a safe distance and watch you and Izaya try to kill each other.
Speaking of which, I wonder what kids at Raira are like nowadays.
Hmmm. I don't know a lot of them, but Ryuugamine Mikado-kun - he was at the hotpot party - is an acquaintance of Celty's. Ah, I know Sonohara Anri-chan somewhat better. Remember? I think you've met her once when you were shot and had to spend a night here. Other than those two there are......Yagiri Seiji-kun and Harima Mika. You know them? They came to the hotpot party when you were also here.
Eh? You know Seiji?
He stabbed you with ballpoint pens? What?
Whatever......anyway. They all look like pretty mature kids.
Mikado-kun and Anri-chan are just typical high school kids who look like they'll be scared to get into any kind of fight.
I feel like they share some kind of secret with Celty. But then it's a privilege of kids and women to make secret holding attractive. A mysterious beauty. Enigmatic kids. Isn't that just cool? It's like the intro of a movie. A squalid man holding a secret would just make himself an easy criminal suspect.
......Why are you looking at my face at the mention of "criminal suspect"?
Whatever -
I just wanted to know how kids today are doing with their youthful lives.
My high school days look completely ruined thanks to you and Izaya. But as long as I had Celty at home, I couldn't really complain.
All was fine as long as I had a place to return to.
Though it looks like Mikado-kun knows Izaya. That calls for some concern.
Youth, in essence, is just restlessness.
Like trying to wriggle your way out of some sort of denseness.
Though the Japanese word for "youth" translates literally into "green spring of life"......a lot of things happen during spring, most of them far from clean or fresh.
Caterpillars and many other creatures disturbing to humans also appear during the spring season.
Maybe you'll even become one of those creatures yourself.
I do hope it doesn't turn out that he's becoming one of those. But as I said before, you never know what you did to deserve the hate you get in your life.
Now that I think about it, there could already be something ominous in store for Mikado-kun from the moment he got to know Izaya.
Anyway. Now that he got to know you too at the hotpot party, he's probably half-destined for the hotpot bubbling at the bottom of Hell arrrrrrrgh -
------------------------
Lovey-Dovey Prattles of an Underground Doctor, Part III
Don't worry, she's sound asleep.
My expertise is not internal medicine, but I think she has some sort of acute adenoiditis.
Eh? Teething fever?
Nah, only babies and kindergarten kids get teething fever. You don't seriously believe people get fevers just from thinking too much, do you?
But then Shizuo's brain is as developed as a kindergarten kid so maybe you do still get teething fevers ehhhhhh -
.......
Shizuo, you realize a flick of your finger in my forehead does as much damage as a knee kick from any other person, don't you? Then try to be more careful, please? What, concussion? How long have I been unconscious?
Graceful God, I wouldn't have believed it had I been told that one day I'd have to relocate my own jaw. Not that it's a big deal though considering the number of jaws I've dislocated and relocated through all these years...
......Speaking of which, my grandfather had once choked on a slice of rice cake. Father just dislocated his jaw and snatched the chunk of rice cake from his throat with his hand. He only does that in an absolute emergency, I figure.
I think I've talked enough. Who exactly is that little girl?
I didn't find anything on her that gives any real clue.
......"Haven't been doing weird stuff to her have you?" ......what's that supposed to mean?
Hello? Before I even get started on where you got the idea that I might be into lolis, do you seriously think I would hit any girl other than Celty? Had it been Celty who was shaking from her fever and muttering things on that bed, I'd have done away with the blanket and warmed her with my body instead!
Really, if Celty hadn't existed, I'd probably already be living a hermit's life somewhere in the mountains and killing my time with elegant hobbies.
If anything could even remotely rival Celty's beauty, it would have to be the grand Earth herself - that's what I would have told people. But honestly, I still feel like Celty is more beautiful......what do you guys think?
......Shizuo, that Tom-san has been eyeing me with a pitying look on his face for a while now. Why is that?
Why aren't you saying anything?
Well whatever.
Hmm? Celty?
Celty is out working for Shiki-san from Awakusu-kai today.
Yep, Shiki-san.
Medei Group - the bigger organization they belong to - is coalescing with Asuki Group. Lots of stuff to be done, it seems...and they said they were entrusting Celty with something important.
......
Ah, that's true. I can't honestly say I'm not worried about her.
Awakusu-kai is in that kind of business, you see?
A lovely girl like Celty just doesn't belong in this kind of shambles with bullets flying around and the smell of blood in the air......of course that was a lie. She's like born to be in it.
The Black Rider blazing her trail among soaring bullets. Isn't that just cool?
But I do still worry about her. I'd rather that she moved together with me all the time, but unfortunately I wouldn't have had a better chance of surviving such situations than a clothed pile of limbs.
Ahh, Celty is strong so I can rest assured.
Celty is strong. Both mentally and physically.
Speaking of which, Shizuo, people probably don't notice because you're too ridiculously overpowering, but Celty is pretty powerful in her own right, too.
She can bend a steel pipe with her hands if she wants to.
She easily recovers from car crashes as if nothing had happened. Well, not that it doesn't hurt for her, but still.
She can take on at least ten average delinquents with no problem. But thirty might be a little taxing on her mental strength.
She's irrationally afraid of certain occult rumors and the White Motorbike. But that only makes her more adorable as a girl in my opinion.
She's strong and adorable. Isn't that just ideal?
But I wouldn't let you have her, Shizuo. Though she's on really good terms with you. You know that gets me jealous at times, right?
......Eh? Tom-san? What's with that face?
Celty? Yeah, that's her name. She's the Black Rider.
"So it's a she"......? Shizuo, you didn't tell him that part?
......Ehhh? You didn't know Celty was a woman either until recently!? But Shizuo!
I can't believe it!
But just look at how beautifully she walks! How her gorgeous curves peep out from under those shadows! Anyone would desire her for that kind of charm!
That's right......she doesn't need to have a head for me to love her, so she doesn't need to have a head to be erotically attractive to me, either. Ever since high school I've never found any ordinary girl even remotely attractive. Celty is the only exception. When I was a kid, Celty was like a reliable older sister to me. Now that I've grown up, Celty is like a cute little kitten. Though I guess you can say I'm more like a mouse in her hands.
......Sorry. I got carried away with my lovey-dovey talk. But I don't regret it.
So back to the little girl we have here.
She saw you for like the first time in her life and told you to "Die!". Shizuo, what exactly have you done to deserve that?
I know you probably don't recall having done anything of that sort, but Shizuo, you're the type of person who gets hated before you can realize the consequences of what you've done.
Let's take, say, a random tree on the sidewalk you uprooted to use as a weapon for example.
If that happened to have been the special tree for a girl who lost her mother on the very day this tree budded......you would have killed the tree she held as dear as her substitute mother. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd hate you enough for it to want you dead......
Well, that was just an analogy.
But still, that's a more plausible explanation in my opinion than saying that the girl is just some sort of undiscriminating killing machine.
Eh, Saika?
I don't think so. Her eyes didn't turn red, did they?
Well, point is, whatever the reason the killers might have on their part, people's lives are more easily after than they usually think.
Not that being aware of that fact would have helped you, though.
These things just happen out of the blue.
Sometimes due to misunderstandings they escalate to the level of mutual hostility.
But at any rate, your getting mad isn't going to waver her killing intent against you. You need to figure out how to deal with this situation.
Not to mention it might not have been a misunderstanding on her part after all.
Trivial things you did in the past might have turned someone else's life upside down. That happens, and it happens a lot.
Though there are people who would do such "trivial things" on purpose.
Like Izaya.
Oops. Now you're officially looking grumpy.
It's about time you two made it up with each other.
......But then you've never really been on good terms to begin with, have you?
Wow, that just makes me all nostalgic. I miss high school.
We were so green and young back then. Or should I say red?
- Since there was always nothing but blood around you and Izaya.
Thanks to you two, I got much better at dealing with broken bones and stitching wounds. Haha.
I can't really say that I dislike Izaya.
He's nothing but true. True to his own desires.
In the same way you're true to your emotions, in fact.
Though in Izaya's case it would have been much better had his desire been just money or women.
But no, it just had to be this inexplicable thing called human observation.
It just gets on your nerves when people observe others and get all haughty about it, doesn't it? It's as if he thinks he's superior to everyone else.
But he's good at sensing other people's moods. He usually won't let you hate him - all he does is estimate your mood with precision and speak the words that waver you the most at the exact time you cannot bring yourself to hate him for saying them.
......Tom-san, were you going to say something? Please go ahead.
......Eh, I look like I'm the kind of person who likes to observe and feel all superior, too......? That's not flattering. Why do I get hated so much?
Well. As long as Celty doesn't hate me, I don't really care.
Anyway. I really want to hang out with you guys again like we did back in Raijin.
Back then it was part of my daily routine to find a spot at a safe distance and watch you and Izaya try to kill each other.
Speaking of which, I wonder what kids at Raira are like nowadays.
Hmmm. I don't know a lot of them, but Ryuugamine Mikado-kun - he was at the hotpot party - is an acquaintance of Celty's. Ah, I know Sonohara Anri-chan somewhat better. Remember? I think you've met her once when you were shot and had to spend a night here. Other than those two there are......Yagiri Seiji-kun and Harima Mika. You know them? They came to the hotpot party when you were also here.
Eh? You know Seiji?
He stabbed you with ballpoint pens? What?
Whatever......anyway. They all look like pretty mature kids.
Mikado-kun and Anri-chan are just typical high school kids who look like they'll be scared to get into any kind of fight.
I feel like they share some kind of secret with Celty. But then it's a privilege of kids and women to make secret holding attractive. A mysterious beauty. Enigmatic kids. Isn't that just cool? It's like the intro of a movie. A squalid man holding a secret would just make himself an easy criminal suspect.
......Why are you looking at my face at the mention of "criminal suspect"?
Whatever -
I just wanted to know how kids today are doing with their youthful lives.
My high school days look completely ruined thanks to you and Izaya. But as long as I had Celty at home, I couldn't really complain.
All was fine as long as I had a place to return to.
Though it looks like Mikado-kun knows Izaya. That calls for some concern.
Youth, in essence, is just restlessness.
Like trying to wriggle your way out of some sort of denseness.
Though the Japanese word for "youth" translates literally into "green spring of life"......a lot of things happen during spring, most of them far from clean or fresh.
Caterpillars and many other creatures disturbing to humans also appear during the spring season.
Maybe you'll even become one of those creatures yourself.
I do hope it doesn't turn out that he's becoming one of those. But as I said before, you never know what you did to deserve the hate you get in your life.
Now that I think about it, there could already be something ominous in store for Mikado-kun from the moment he got to know Izaya.
Anyway. Now that he got to know you too at the hotpot party, he's probably half-destined for the hotpot bubbling at the bottom of Hell arrrrrrrgh -
------------------------