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This is what happens when Annerb plays with screen caps and captions....
An Unofficial Redial Recap: Shipper’s Illustrated Edition
I remember having a chat about a Stargate episode with someone completely unfamiliar with the identification and analysis of the myriad of shipper clues that abound in Stargate. (More commonly known as ship goggles.) “What does that clip of music or someone buying fruitloops have to do with anything?” they asked me. “A great many, many things,” I replied solemnly. To illuminate the process, I thought I would produce my own version of this week’s redial_the_gate episode recap, purely through the ship goggles. And what a doozy of a ship episode it is…
Small Victories
A partial list of possible pairings in this single episode: Russian/Russian, Replicator/Russians, Janet/Daniel, Jack/Teal’c/Sam, Jack/Sam, Paul Davis/Everyone, Thor/Jack, Thor/Sam, Jack/Teal’c, Jack/C4, Teal’c/Janet, Paul/Daniel, Siler/Daniel, Jack/Daniel, Jack/Daniel/Paul, Replicators/The O’Neill, and any and all other multiples combinations.
And away we go! (Image HEAVY, of course.)
This story begins like most, with two Russian soldiers on a submarine in the middle of the Pacific. But they have more aligned against their love than the military and their sneaky American ‘allies’.
Say hello to the Replicators, boys. How does it feel to be ill fated?
Tebe Pizd'ets.
Meanwhile, back at the SGC… Janet has finally gotten her hands on Daniel. His appendix, at least.
Janet: “How does it feel here, Daniel?”
Daniel: “Um. A little lower, please.”
Too bad they are interrupted by the sound of an off-world activation!
It’s the rest of SG-1 back from their OT3 off-world stint!
Jack: “It’s about time you got the gate up and running again! I was never going to be able to keep up with these two for another week!”
Teal’c: *smug*
Sam: *disappointed*
And millions of SJ shippers everywhere melted into a pile of goo, and totally forgave TPTB for the whole Laira thing. Mostly. *Something* happened back on that planet between Sam and Jack. At the very least, enough flirting to drive Teal’c to establish his own camp elsewhere. Aww, SJers, remember back when they were both deluded enough to not be self-conscious about this type of obvious flirting? *pinches stupid cute’s cheeks*
Too bad Sam is still too smart/chicken to go fishing with Jack. But wait! She’s chasing him out into the hallway again! Oh, boo. Only to tell him something came up and his vacation is cancelled. Bummer. The cure is simple, though. Phew. Now I feel better.
*blue steel*
It’s Major Paul ‘Sexy-Pants’ Davis in from the Pentagon! He comes bearing bad news (the Replicators have made lunch of the young Russian lovers!!), but also the sexual chemistry. But who to pair him with? Roll the dice, my friends.
Even Jack feels overwhelmed by it.
Decisions are hard.
But wait! There is another large disturbance in the sexual chemistry force! Who could it be?
It’s THOR! The supreme commander of intergalactic booty calls.
But Thor hasn’t come for Jack this time. Thor is ready for a little Samantha Carter time. And we all know he’s not just after her intellect.
Sad Jack is sad.
Jack will be okay, though. He still has Teal’c, hot black special ops gear, and a Russian sub to blow up. Life is good.
Meanwhile, back on the Asgard homeworld, Sam stands in awe of the enormity of The O’Neill. “It’s even larger than I dared imagine!”
Paul keeps Daniel company while Jack and Teal’c deal with the Replicators. Careful, there is enough hot on the screen here to burn out your monitor. My question is: where exactly is Paul’s other hand? Hmmmm?
Even Siler and Daniel get a little screen time together. (Why, yes, as a matter of fact, two people simply sharing the screen at the same time *is* enough to assume there is hawt monkey secks taking place off camera. Thank you for asking.)
Back on the submarine, things aren’t going so well. The Replicators have *gasp* replicated!! And Teal’c gets attacked!
Jack and Teal’c escape the submarine to discuss their options with Daniel and Paul.
Teal’c gets a little TLC from Janet.
Janet: “My, what broad shoulders you have.”
Teal’c: *smug*
Meanwhile, Jack is a little put out that Daniel is paying more attention to Paul than him. Jack just risked his life and all, for goodness’ sake! Teal’c merely contemplates his later date with Janet. She’s going to ‘debride and dress his wound’ when they find some time to themselves.
And Paul? Well, he knows a good thing when he sees it. “OT3?” he suggests. “Hmmm,” Jack says, going back to his happy place.
But first, there is a submarine to be blown up.
Back on Thor’s ship, Thor tries to woo Sam with technology porn. "Sweet holographic system, huh? I built it myself."
Having failed to gained Sam’s attention, Thor then tries to romance her with an intimate dinner.
It’s not clear whether the food is unappetizing, or if it’s just Thor’s accompanying erotic dance that steals her appetite.
But no matter, they still have Replicators to thwart using Sam’s Stupid Ideas. (Just a note of caution, Thor, Sam doesn’t react well to being called a dumb blond).
Sam’s brilliant idea? Lure the Replicators in with the sheer tumescence of The O’Neill, and then blow them all up in one giant climactic explosion!
In the post-victory euphoria, Thor finally makes it past first base.
Sam: “Do you think we could keep this between the two of us? I’d rather Colonel O’Neill not find out.”
Thor: “Are you referring to our coitus, or the purposeful combustion of The O’Neill?”
Sam, nodding: “Yes.”
Back on Earth, things are not going so well. The Replicators have blocked Jack and Teal’c’s exit. Jack orders the sub blown up with them on it.
Daniel has a problem with this. “I swear to God, Jack, this whole Paul Davis thing is just harmless flirting!” But there is nothing to be done, and Daniel is forced to watch Jack get blown to smithereens right before his eyes.
The ship explodes!
But what’s this? Right before the blast makes it to Jack and Teal’c, Daniel sees the distinctive bright white light of an Asgard beaming device!
“Oh, thank God!” Daniel says.
Paul, touching Daniel’s shoulder: “Does this mean we’re still on for tonight?”
Thor and Sam have beamed Jack and Teal’c up to their ship just in time.
Jack: “Thor, buddy! Perfect timing as always!”
Thor: “I could not leave you to die. Though I enjoyed my intimate relations with Samantha Carter today, I believe you are still first in my affections.”
Sam, trying to look innocent: “Those Asgard say the darndest things, don’t they?”
Thor: “We also blew up The O’Neill. It was truly a magnificent ship.”
Sam: “Dammit, Thor!”
Jack: “Excuse me?”
Sam: “Uh… I’ll make it up to you later?”
Jack: “You will?”
Sam: “Yes.” *looks at him significantly*
Jack: “OH!”
Jack: “So. Thor, buddy. How about you drop us back down at my house?”
Thor: “But when will I see you again?”
Jack: “I’ll call you. You can come fishing. And then you can see just how amazing The O’Neill really is. Seriously. *This* big. Just ask Carter and Teal’c!”
And they all lived sexily ever after.
So...who's going to tackle the Shipper's edition of next week's ep? Hmmmmm?
An Unofficial Redial Recap: Shipper’s Illustrated Edition
I remember having a chat about a Stargate episode with someone completely unfamiliar with the identification and analysis of the myriad of shipper clues that abound in Stargate. (More commonly known as ship goggles.) “What does that clip of music or someone buying fruitloops have to do with anything?” they asked me. “A great many, many things,” I replied solemnly. To illuminate the process, I thought I would produce my own version of this week’s redial_the_gate episode recap, purely through the ship goggles. And what a doozy of a ship episode it is…
Small Victories
A partial list of possible pairings in this single episode: Russian/Russian, Replicator/Russians, Janet/Daniel, Jack/Teal’c/Sam, Jack/Sam, Paul Davis/Everyone, Thor/Jack, Thor/Sam, Jack/Teal’c, Jack/C4, Teal’c/Janet, Paul/Daniel, Siler/Daniel, Jack/Daniel, Jack/Daniel/Paul, Replicators/The O’Neill, and any and all other multiples combinations.
And away we go! (Image HEAVY, of course.)
This story begins like most, with two Russian soldiers on a submarine in the middle of the Pacific. But they have more aligned against their love than the military and their sneaky American ‘allies’.
Say hello to the Replicators, boys. How does it feel to be ill fated?
Tebe Pizd'ets.
Meanwhile, back at the SGC… Janet has finally gotten her hands on Daniel. His appendix, at least.
Janet: “How does it feel here, Daniel?”
Daniel: “Um. A little lower, please.”
Too bad they are interrupted by the sound of an off-world activation!
It’s the rest of SG-1 back from their OT3 off-world stint!
Jack: “It’s about time you got the gate up and running again! I was never going to be able to keep up with these two for another week!”
Teal’c: *smug*
Sam: *disappointed*
And millions of SJ shippers everywhere melted into a pile of goo, and totally forgave TPTB for the whole Laira thing. Mostly. *Something* happened back on that planet between Sam and Jack. At the very least, enough flirting to drive Teal’c to establish his own camp elsewhere. Aww, SJers, remember back when they were both deluded enough to not be self-conscious about this type of obvious flirting? *pinches stupid cute’s cheeks*
Too bad Sam is still too smart/chicken to go fishing with Jack. But wait! She’s chasing him out into the hallway again! Oh, boo. Only to tell him something came up and his vacation is cancelled. Bummer. The cure is simple, though. Phew. Now I feel better.
*blue steel*
It’s Major Paul ‘Sexy-Pants’ Davis in from the Pentagon! He comes bearing bad news (the Replicators have made lunch of the young Russian lovers!!), but also the sexual chemistry. But who to pair him with? Roll the dice, my friends.
Even Jack feels overwhelmed by it.
Decisions are hard.
But wait! There is another large disturbance in the sexual chemistry force! Who could it be?
It’s THOR! The supreme commander of intergalactic booty calls.
But Thor hasn’t come for Jack this time. Thor is ready for a little Samantha Carter time. And we all know he’s not just after her intellect.
Sad Jack is sad.
Jack will be okay, though. He still has Teal’c, hot black special ops gear, and a Russian sub to blow up. Life is good.
Meanwhile, back on the Asgard homeworld, Sam stands in awe of the enormity of The O’Neill. “It’s even larger than I dared imagine!”
Paul keeps Daniel company while Jack and Teal’c deal with the Replicators. Careful, there is enough hot on the screen here to burn out your monitor. My question is: where exactly is Paul’s other hand? Hmmmm?
Even Siler and Daniel get a little screen time together. (Why, yes, as a matter of fact, two people simply sharing the screen at the same time *is* enough to assume there is hawt monkey secks taking place off camera. Thank you for asking.)
Back on the submarine, things aren’t going so well. The Replicators have *gasp* replicated!! And Teal’c gets attacked!
Jack and Teal’c escape the submarine to discuss their options with Daniel and Paul.
Teal’c gets a little TLC from Janet.
Janet: “My, what broad shoulders you have.”
Teal’c: *smug*
Meanwhile, Jack is a little put out that Daniel is paying more attention to Paul than him. Jack just risked his life and all, for goodness’ sake! Teal’c merely contemplates his later date with Janet. She’s going to ‘debride and dress his wound’ when they find some time to themselves.
And Paul? Well, he knows a good thing when he sees it. “OT3?” he suggests. “Hmmm,” Jack says, going back to his happy place.
But first, there is a submarine to be blown up.
Back on Thor’s ship, Thor tries to woo Sam with technology porn. "Sweet holographic system, huh? I built it myself."
Having failed to gained Sam’s attention, Thor then tries to romance her with an intimate dinner.
It’s not clear whether the food is unappetizing, or if it’s just Thor’s accompanying erotic dance that steals her appetite.
But no matter, they still have Replicators to thwart using Sam’s Stupid Ideas. (Just a note of caution, Thor, Sam doesn’t react well to being called a dumb blond).
Sam’s brilliant idea? Lure the Replicators in with the sheer tumescence of The O’Neill, and then blow them all up in one giant climactic explosion!
In the post-victory euphoria, Thor finally makes it past first base.
Sam: “Do you think we could keep this between the two of us? I’d rather Colonel O’Neill not find out.”
Thor: “Are you referring to our coitus, or the purposeful combustion of The O’Neill?”
Sam, nodding: “Yes.”
Back on Earth, things are not going so well. The Replicators have blocked Jack and Teal’c’s exit. Jack orders the sub blown up with them on it.
Daniel has a problem with this. “I swear to God, Jack, this whole Paul Davis thing is just harmless flirting!” But there is nothing to be done, and Daniel is forced to watch Jack get blown to smithereens right before his eyes.
The ship explodes!
But what’s this? Right before the blast makes it to Jack and Teal’c, Daniel sees the distinctive bright white light of an Asgard beaming device!
“Oh, thank God!” Daniel says.
Paul, touching Daniel’s shoulder: “Does this mean we’re still on for tonight?”
Thor and Sam have beamed Jack and Teal’c up to their ship just in time.
Jack: “Thor, buddy! Perfect timing as always!”
Thor: “I could not leave you to die. Though I enjoyed my intimate relations with Samantha Carter today, I believe you are still first in my affections.”
Sam, trying to look innocent: “Those Asgard say the darndest things, don’t they?”
Thor: “We also blew up The O’Neill. It was truly a magnificent ship.”
Sam: “Dammit, Thor!”
Jack: “Excuse me?”
Sam: “Uh… I’ll make it up to you later?”
Jack: “You will?”
Sam: “Yes.” *looks at him significantly*
Jack: “OH!”
Jack: “So. Thor, buddy. How about you drop us back down at my house?”
Thor: “But when will I see you again?”
Jack: “I’ll call you. You can come fishing. And then you can see just how amazing The O’Neill really is. Seriously. *This* big. Just ask Carter and Teal’c!”
And they all lived sexily ever after.
So...who's going to tackle the Shipper's edition of next week's ep? Hmmmmm?