Recipe: Mayonnaise
Hey guys. I'm back! I'm back with food again. Because of course.
I don't have pictures, unfortunately, but that's largely because this isn't exactly a recipe. This is more of a general how-to, with a couple of uses. The subject is... MAYONNAISE. Hang on, though. I know lots of people don't like mayonnaise. I don't like it either, if we're talking about the stuff out of the jar. I'll eat it in things, sure, but it always has that weird sweetness that just seems wrong to me.
BUT. Making your own mayonnaise is just. Oh my goodness. It's amazing. You can make it sweet, you can make it spicy, you can make it Mexican-ish, you can make it plain... WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE. But it's also a scary idea, I think. Making mayonnaise is something that proper professional cooking adults do, after all.
But I managed it. And, as those of you who know me will agree, I am not at all professional or an adult. And yet I managed. So take heart!
Ingredients
-egg yolks (maybe 5 or 6 for a large pasta or chicken salad, or 2 for a couple of sandwiches)
-acid (lemon juice, lime juice, whatever vinegar you have on hand-- just something acidic)
-oil (I use canola or vegetable oil)
That's it, really. I'll note some yummy variations below, but that really is it.
Equipment
I've heard that you can use a mixer for this. I totally believe it. It didn't work for me, though, for a pathetic reason. There's a small gap between the bottom of the bowl and how far down the whisk attachment reaches on my mixer. So instead of being whisked, most of the mayonnaise-to-be sits under the whisk, perhaps feeling pleasantly fanned by the whoosh of the whisk passing by overhead. That was enough of an issue for a small batch of mayonnaise to break repeatedly, so I prefer using a whisk by hand. But if you're making a large batch, or if you want to risk it, feel free to use a mixer. I'll explain how to recover from a broken mayonnaise, so if it doesn't work the first time you'll be able to recover easily.
Procedure
Okay, the scary thing about mayonnaise is that it can break. That's what it's called when you have a mass of egg yolks in your bowl underneath a big floating slick of oil. The good news is that it is always possible to recover. Always.
Let's assume first that it goes well. Here's what you do. Put your egg yolks into your bowl, and add a bit of your acid. Whisk them together until they look... combined? I guess? I honestly don't know exactly what you're looking for, but just whisk for maybe half a minute and you'll be totally solid. The acid makes the egg yolks play nice, and that's legitimately the extent of my understanding here. I think there was an episode of Good Eats that explained it better, if you want to check around on YouTube for it.
Now's the important part, okay? Add A DROP OF OIL. Literally. I swear to God. A drop. I'm not exaggerating. Add A DROP and just whisk whisk whisk. You have to combine it slowly or it'll break. A break is fixable, like I say, but you do want to avoid it if you can, because a break means work, and nobody likes work.
After a while, add another drop. Keep whisking the whole time. Eventually you can add a bigger drop. Then maybe a drizzle. The more oil has already been combined into the mixture, the faster you can add it. Because chemistry and whatnot.
The only time you should see oil hanging out on its own not being part of the mixture is RIGHT when it hits the bowl. It should start looking (and feeling) sort of thick, and... mayonnaisey. It'll be much yellower than what you get out of a jar, though, so don't be confused by that. It will also go from having a wet shine (because it's a liquid) to having more of a sheen (because it's becoming an emulsion-- which is basically you taking two liquids that aren't friends and violencing them until they agree to pretend to be friends for you).
So yeah, just keep whisking until the oil's combined in. I think I might use 3/4 of a cup of oil for two egg yolks? I honestly mostly time it based on when my arm gets tired. Once you think you have enough mayonnaise, skip on down to the variations section, fix it up to your heart's delight, and slap that shit in the fridge until you're ready to use it.
My Mayonnaise Broke and Everything's a Disaster
This is the easiest thing to recover from. Ever. I'm serious.
Rinse off and dry the whisk. Get out a second bowl. Put in an egg yolk and some of your acid. Whisk it.
Now, instead of adding oil, add a drop of your broken mayonnaise. Then another drop. Just do the same thing as before, but instead of straight oil, you're whisking in your broken mayonnaise. If the second batch breaks, just rinse out the first bowl (or get a third out, I don't care) and start with a new egg yolk. This can go on as long as you have egg yolks, and the only consequence is a bit more mayonnaise.
Variations
Now this is the exciting part. You can do a lot with mayonnaise. For example, does anybody remember this post? It was that honey-lime-soy sauce chicken I made. Just use a bit of the marinade (1/2 cup honey, 1/3 cup soy sauce, 1/4 cup lime juice, if you want to whip up a quick batch-- check that post for a salad you can use it in too) as your acid for a sweet, tangy mayonnaise that's amazing on toasted bread, leftover chicken, crackers, and I bet also various pasta-type salads. My friend tried some today and said she thinks it would be good on shrimp, and, while I definitely agree, I haven't actually tried it yet, so I can't guarantee that.
Want a more Mexican theme? Use lime juice, and stir in some cilantro and maybe some chives afterwards.
I imagine you could pull off a mayonnaise with orange juice too, but I don't know what dish you'd want it for. If anybody has any ideas (maybe a sandwich using leftover duck a l'orange or... whatever we normal people make with orange???) let me know.
I've seen a lot of recipes call for mixing in some Dijon mustard. I'm not a mustard fan, but since I've seen it so often I'm guessing there's something to the idea that it makes it delicious to mustard-eaters.
Most importantly, taste your mayonnaise. Plain basic mayonnaise is pretty rich and not very exciting, but a tiny bit of salt works wonders if you want a more basic taste. Parsley and lemon juice are amazing too. I'm positive that a plain mayonnaise could be sweetened and worked into a dessert (sort of like a basic custard, I imagine), but I just don't have to dessert know-how to know exactly how that would be accomplished.
So... did I convince anybody to give home-made mayonnaise a try? Tell me if you try it/what you make with it! :D Or just tell me how terrible I am for tormenting you with recipes you can't make right now. Either way! <3
I don't have pictures, unfortunately, but that's largely because this isn't exactly a recipe. This is more of a general how-to, with a couple of uses. The subject is... MAYONNAISE. Hang on, though. I know lots of people don't like mayonnaise. I don't like it either, if we're talking about the stuff out of the jar. I'll eat it in things, sure, but it always has that weird sweetness that just seems wrong to me.
BUT. Making your own mayonnaise is just. Oh my goodness. It's amazing. You can make it sweet, you can make it spicy, you can make it Mexican-ish, you can make it plain... WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE. But it's also a scary idea, I think. Making mayonnaise is something that proper professional cooking adults do, after all.
But I managed it. And, as those of you who know me will agree, I am not at all professional or an adult. And yet I managed. So take heart!
Ingredients
-egg yolks (maybe 5 or 6 for a large pasta or chicken salad, or 2 for a couple of sandwiches)
-acid (lemon juice, lime juice, whatever vinegar you have on hand-- just something acidic)
-oil (I use canola or vegetable oil)
That's it, really. I'll note some yummy variations below, but that really is it.
Equipment
I've heard that you can use a mixer for this. I totally believe it. It didn't work for me, though, for a pathetic reason. There's a small gap between the bottom of the bowl and how far down the whisk attachment reaches on my mixer. So instead of being whisked, most of the mayonnaise-to-be sits under the whisk, perhaps feeling pleasantly fanned by the whoosh of the whisk passing by overhead. That was enough of an issue for a small batch of mayonnaise to break repeatedly, so I prefer using a whisk by hand. But if you're making a large batch, or if you want to risk it, feel free to use a mixer. I'll explain how to recover from a broken mayonnaise, so if it doesn't work the first time you'll be able to recover easily.
Procedure
Okay, the scary thing about mayonnaise is that it can break. That's what it's called when you have a mass of egg yolks in your bowl underneath a big floating slick of oil. The good news is that it is always possible to recover. Always.
Let's assume first that it goes well. Here's what you do. Put your egg yolks into your bowl, and add a bit of your acid. Whisk them together until they look... combined? I guess? I honestly don't know exactly what you're looking for, but just whisk for maybe half a minute and you'll be totally solid. The acid makes the egg yolks play nice, and that's legitimately the extent of my understanding here. I think there was an episode of Good Eats that explained it better, if you want to check around on YouTube for it.
Now's the important part, okay? Add A DROP OF OIL. Literally. I swear to God. A drop. I'm not exaggerating. Add A DROP and just whisk whisk whisk. You have to combine it slowly or it'll break. A break is fixable, like I say, but you do want to avoid it if you can, because a break means work, and nobody likes work.
After a while, add another drop. Keep whisking the whole time. Eventually you can add a bigger drop. Then maybe a drizzle. The more oil has already been combined into the mixture, the faster you can add it. Because chemistry and whatnot.
The only time you should see oil hanging out on its own not being part of the mixture is RIGHT when it hits the bowl. It should start looking (and feeling) sort of thick, and... mayonnaisey. It'll be much yellower than what you get out of a jar, though, so don't be confused by that. It will also go from having a wet shine (because it's a liquid) to having more of a sheen (because it's becoming an emulsion-- which is basically you taking two liquids that aren't friends and violencing them until they agree to pretend to be friends for you).
So yeah, just keep whisking until the oil's combined in. I think I might use 3/4 of a cup of oil for two egg yolks? I honestly mostly time it based on when my arm gets tired. Once you think you have enough mayonnaise, skip on down to the variations section, fix it up to your heart's delight, and slap that shit in the fridge until you're ready to use it.
My Mayonnaise Broke and Everything's a Disaster
This is the easiest thing to recover from. Ever. I'm serious.
Rinse off and dry the whisk. Get out a second bowl. Put in an egg yolk and some of your acid. Whisk it.
Now, instead of adding oil, add a drop of your broken mayonnaise. Then another drop. Just do the same thing as before, but instead of straight oil, you're whisking in your broken mayonnaise. If the second batch breaks, just rinse out the first bowl (or get a third out, I don't care) and start with a new egg yolk. This can go on as long as you have egg yolks, and the only consequence is a bit more mayonnaise.
Variations
Now this is the exciting part. You can do a lot with mayonnaise. For example, does anybody remember this post? It was that honey-lime-soy sauce chicken I made. Just use a bit of the marinade (1/2 cup honey, 1/3 cup soy sauce, 1/4 cup lime juice, if you want to whip up a quick batch-- check that post for a salad you can use it in too) as your acid for a sweet, tangy mayonnaise that's amazing on toasted bread, leftover chicken, crackers, and I bet also various pasta-type salads. My friend tried some today and said she thinks it would be good on shrimp, and, while I definitely agree, I haven't actually tried it yet, so I can't guarantee that.
Want a more Mexican theme? Use lime juice, and stir in some cilantro and maybe some chives afterwards.
I imagine you could pull off a mayonnaise with orange juice too, but I don't know what dish you'd want it for. If anybody has any ideas (maybe a sandwich using leftover duck a l'orange or... whatever we normal people make with orange???) let me know.
I've seen a lot of recipes call for mixing in some Dijon mustard. I'm not a mustard fan, but since I've seen it so often I'm guessing there's something to the idea that it makes it delicious to mustard-eaters.
Most importantly, taste your mayonnaise. Plain basic mayonnaise is pretty rich and not very exciting, but a tiny bit of salt works wonders if you want a more basic taste. Parsley and lemon juice are amazing too. I'm positive that a plain mayonnaise could be sweetened and worked into a dessert (sort of like a basic custard, I imagine), but I just don't have to dessert know-how to know exactly how that would be accomplished.
So... did I convince anybody to give home-made mayonnaise a try? Tell me if you try it/what you make with it! :D Or just tell me how terrible I am for tormenting you with recipes you can't make right now. Either way! <3