How-to: Anneka!fic
(I wrote this while stuck between 3 and 4 of a Spider-Man fic. I'm predictable like that.)
How to write standard-issue Anneka!fic
(NOTE: will not work for all Anneka!fic, especially crackfic, PWP, and anything that doesn't warrant the word "angsty".)
(Joking aside, this honestly is a pretty solid way to build a fic. I'm basing this on the fact that, thus far, nobody's called me on writing the same story over and over.)
Overview:
This is a guide on how to write the most common variety of Anneka!fic: "something has changed and I am dissatisfied with that situation." Not everything will always apply, but this is a fairly solid framework on which to build your fic.
1. Intentionally vague lead-in. Use best wording possible here. Sound slightly mysterious, and maybe a little sinister. What's up? What's wrong? Let's read on and find out! Excellent words to use include "once", "still", "even now", "before", etc. If there's any particular recurring visual imagery that would sound awesome (drowning, choking, struggling, running, etc.), now's the time to set it up!
BONUS POINTS: creepy is always good!
2. How things used to be. Touch on events during or before canon. Set up general thematic contrast between now and then. Introduce now, highlighting the contrast again. Be sure to use an angsty line or two for extra emphasis on the fact that SOMETHING HAS CHANGED!
BONUS POINTS: Know what's always solid? Making the conflict/change come off as REALLY REALLY molestery. Make it sound insidious and creepy, and maybe mention that it involves boners being directed at inappropriate targets. Would the audience be able to turn off the lights right now and feel as though they will maintain their present level of unmolestedness? TRY HARDER.
3. Example time! Either mention something that happened once, or have an event happen in the present that in some way drives home the contrast and the change. Interactions with a particular character have changed. Motivations are gone. The main character is, in some way, forced to confront the change, and perhaps accept it in a fucked up way. If there isn't a slight air of resignation and despair all over everything yet, then clearly you aren't doing it right.
BONUS POINTS: Lots of characters end up in jail, in the hospital, or in some other setting where they're really really bored a lot. Have the character they're bonering over (note: this includes hate-boners) show up for a visit! Nothing says "incredibly useful plot device" like the hero turning up to check on your character for reasons of goodness-- OR the villain turning up for reasons of evilness! SO. VERSATILE.
4. Okay, time to wrap it up! Let's look back at the beginning really quick-- what was the change? Let's re-state that! "Sometimes so-and-so wishes things would go back to the way they were" goes a long way, because THAT'S WHAT THE ENTIRE FIC WAS ABOUT. Don't be afraid to spend a long time on this stage, then shit out some bullshit ending that you'll never really like, and post the damn thing just because you're sick of it. Sometimes that bullshit gets confused for brilliance! Take a line of dialogue and re-use it in a different way, maybe. Echo words! This can appear to have been set up from the beginning, when in fact you were just re-reading in the hopes that a good ending would reach out from the computer and punch you in the face.
BONUS POINTS: Try to reframe the opening "shot" (awake at night thinking, watching someone, etc.) with that new shiny lens of despair. If there's been a specific thematic element, now's the time to bring it back-- "fighting to stay above the flood" becomes "maybe drowning isn't the worst way to go", etc. And once you're all out of ideas, but you still need that final touch, here's a thought. Split the last sentence up, and put the last bit as its own paragraph.
5. For emphasis.
GENERAL NOTES
-Hey. HEY. Is that a character over there sleeping peacefully through the night? STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Angst and conflict are at their best when they interrupt sleep.
-Be sure to repeatedly drive home the fact that the character you're focusing on has changed/has seen the world change/(presumably, if you're writing Anneka!fic) has a penis that could potentially react to people that the character would rather it remain silent about.
-Know what's better than a regular sentence? A really frikkin' long sentence. For bonus points, make sure it's still grammatically solid, UNLESS IT'S SOME KIND OF INTERNAL VOICE OR DIALOGUE. Then feel free to roll with it. It really helps with that air of controlled, chaotic crazy that makes Anneka!fics so unique! If you're writing someone like the Mad Hatter, just go all batshit all the time.
-It helps to have a designated sad character, no matter what fandom you're writing. This means that you should always have a solid back-up plan for crossing over with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because Tony Stark really is the universal one-stop shop for all things unresolved daddy issue.
-Author appeal is key. Any fight scene should involve at least one lengthy inner monologue of choking, including some sort of reference to stars, and a really frantic writing style. Other fun ideas to write about are blood, vomit (because THAT'S HOW YOU DEAL WITH A PHOBIA, OBVS), or good old-fashioned punching-and-kicking violence.
-Try writing a canonically alcoholic character. In fact, make sure he's your favorite character to write about! Then make sure to make it painfully obvious that, when it comes to anything alcoholic, you have NO DAMN IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. Cross your fingers that no one notices.
-Goddammit, do those pesky characters that you've been forcing to lust over each other this whole damn time actually want to have SEX? Like. CONSENSUALLY? Ugh. Well, we all know it's horrible to write, but it'll have to be done. Hang on a second. Make sure to check for any way to fade to black, or go some sort of "thrusting into tight heat" route. If actual play-by-play porn MUST be written, look for an out as soon as possible. Maybe have another character burst in looking for something? If there really is no way out, just make sure you over-think every word choice as much as possible, until it comes off as stilted and awkward to you, and yet somehow other people like it.
-As presented, this guide works best for good characters-- or at least characters attempting to be good. Here's a fun experiment, though: go back through with a more villainous character, and make the change something like "I'm not really feeling like killing people as much any more". It still works! In this version, the tone comes off less as "darkness can creep up on those with even the best intentions, and sometimes insanity and baser instincts win, and now I'm gonna go cry for a while", and more as "LOL [insert villain here] YOU DERP YOU JUST DON'T GET HOW HEARTS WORK UNLESS YOU'RE BUTCHERING THEM, YOU'LL BE FINE, JUST WATCH A LITTLE DISNEY". Be sure to take a moment to ponder what this says about how insensitive we are, as a society, to the emotional problems of villains.
-When in doubt, just make the fic be about "boners of various types for the wrong reasons/the wrong person". Some people don't understand worries of harming others, or existential break-downs, or religious crises. EVERYONE understands boners.
How to write standard-issue Anneka!fic
(NOTE: will not work for all Anneka!fic, especially crackfic, PWP, and anything that doesn't warrant the word "angsty".)
(Joking aside, this honestly is a pretty solid way to build a fic. I'm basing this on the fact that, thus far, nobody's called me on writing the same story over and over.)
Overview:
This is a guide on how to write the most common variety of Anneka!fic: "something has changed and I am dissatisfied with that situation." Not everything will always apply, but this is a fairly solid framework on which to build your fic.
1. Intentionally vague lead-in. Use best wording possible here. Sound slightly mysterious, and maybe a little sinister. What's up? What's wrong? Let's read on and find out! Excellent words to use include "once", "still", "even now", "before", etc. If there's any particular recurring visual imagery that would sound awesome (drowning, choking, struggling, running, etc.), now's the time to set it up!
BONUS POINTS: creepy is always good!
2. How things used to be. Touch on events during or before canon. Set up general thematic contrast between now and then. Introduce now, highlighting the contrast again. Be sure to use an angsty line or two for extra emphasis on the fact that SOMETHING HAS CHANGED!
BONUS POINTS: Know what's always solid? Making the conflict/change come off as REALLY REALLY molestery. Make it sound insidious and creepy, and maybe mention that it involves boners being directed at inappropriate targets. Would the audience be able to turn off the lights right now and feel as though they will maintain their present level of unmolestedness? TRY HARDER.
3. Example time! Either mention something that happened once, or have an event happen in the present that in some way drives home the contrast and the change. Interactions with a particular character have changed. Motivations are gone. The main character is, in some way, forced to confront the change, and perhaps accept it in a fucked up way. If there isn't a slight air of resignation and despair all over everything yet, then clearly you aren't doing it right.
BONUS POINTS: Lots of characters end up in jail, in the hospital, or in some other setting where they're really really bored a lot. Have the character they're bonering over (note: this includes hate-boners) show up for a visit! Nothing says "incredibly useful plot device" like the hero turning up to check on your character for reasons of goodness-- OR the villain turning up for reasons of evilness! SO. VERSATILE.
4. Okay, time to wrap it up! Let's look back at the beginning really quick-- what was the change? Let's re-state that! "Sometimes so-and-so wishes things would go back to the way they were" goes a long way, because THAT'S WHAT THE ENTIRE FIC WAS ABOUT. Don't be afraid to spend a long time on this stage, then shit out some bullshit ending that you'll never really like, and post the damn thing just because you're sick of it. Sometimes that bullshit gets confused for brilliance! Take a line of dialogue and re-use it in a different way, maybe. Echo words! This can appear to have been set up from the beginning, when in fact you were just re-reading in the hopes that a good ending would reach out from the computer and punch you in the face.
BONUS POINTS: Try to reframe the opening "shot" (awake at night thinking, watching someone, etc.) with that new shiny lens of despair. If there's been a specific thematic element, now's the time to bring it back-- "fighting to stay above the flood" becomes "maybe drowning isn't the worst way to go", etc. And once you're all out of ideas, but you still need that final touch, here's a thought. Split the last sentence up, and put the last bit as its own paragraph.
5. For emphasis.
GENERAL NOTES
-Hey. HEY. Is that a character over there sleeping peacefully through the night? STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Angst and conflict are at their best when they interrupt sleep.
-Be sure to repeatedly drive home the fact that the character you're focusing on has changed/has seen the world change/(presumably, if you're writing Anneka!fic) has a penis that could potentially react to people that the character would rather it remain silent about.
-Know what's better than a regular sentence? A really frikkin' long sentence. For bonus points, make sure it's still grammatically solid, UNLESS IT'S SOME KIND OF INTERNAL VOICE OR DIALOGUE. Then feel free to roll with it. It really helps with that air of controlled, chaotic crazy that makes Anneka!fics so unique! If you're writing someone like the Mad Hatter, just go all batshit all the time.
-It helps to have a designated sad character, no matter what fandom you're writing. This means that you should always have a solid back-up plan for crossing over with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because Tony Stark really is the universal one-stop shop for all things unresolved daddy issue.
-Author appeal is key. Any fight scene should involve at least one lengthy inner monologue of choking, including some sort of reference to stars, and a really frantic writing style. Other fun ideas to write about are blood, vomit (because THAT'S HOW YOU DEAL WITH A PHOBIA, OBVS), or good old-fashioned punching-and-kicking violence.
-Try writing a canonically alcoholic character. In fact, make sure he's your favorite character to write about! Then make sure to make it painfully obvious that, when it comes to anything alcoholic, you have NO DAMN IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. Cross your fingers that no one notices.
-Goddammit, do those pesky characters that you've been forcing to lust over each other this whole damn time actually want to have SEX? Like. CONSENSUALLY? Ugh. Well, we all know it's horrible to write, but it'll have to be done. Hang on a second. Make sure to check for any way to fade to black, or go some sort of "thrusting into tight heat" route. If actual play-by-play porn MUST be written, look for an out as soon as possible. Maybe have another character burst in looking for something? If there really is no way out, just make sure you over-think every word choice as much as possible, until it comes off as stilted and awkward to you, and yet somehow other people like it.
-As presented, this guide works best for good characters-- or at least characters attempting to be good. Here's a fun experiment, though: go back through with a more villainous character, and make the change something like "I'm not really feeling like killing people as much any more". It still works! In this version, the tone comes off less as "darkness can creep up on those with even the best intentions, and sometimes insanity and baser instincts win, and now I'm gonna go cry for a while", and more as "LOL [insert villain here] YOU DERP YOU JUST DON'T GET HOW HEARTS WORK UNLESS YOU'RE BUTCHERING THEM, YOU'LL BE FINE, JUST WATCH A LITTLE DISNEY". Be sure to take a moment to ponder what this says about how insensitive we are, as a society, to the emotional problems of villains.
-When in doubt, just make the fic be about "boners of various types for the wrong reasons/the wrong person". Some people don't understand worries of harming others, or existential break-downs, or religious crises. EVERYONE understands boners.