(no subject)
the power was shut off on friday over at our house, so we packed up some stuff and came over to the motorhome in lake city to stay, cause we can't stay at the house with rose with no power or water. so we've been here for almost a week and i'm already going crazy. i wish alex was as scared as me cause maybe then he would try to find work. i mean, we're going to lose our house next month if we don't find work, and i do not want to live in a motorhome in his mom's backyard with rose and a newborn. i'm so scared and i'm starting to get depressed-i'm trying so hard not to, but i just can't seem to help it. i know part of it is hormornes from the pregnancy, but dammit, we have a nice place where we live at, a great neighborhood, a great place to raise a family, and i don't want to lose it and have to pack up and move again. alex says he will never forgive himself if we lsoe this place too, but he's not doing much to kepp it from happening. don't get me wrong, we're not fighting or anything. actually we're getting along a lot better than we have in a long time for the past month, but i'm so scared. my life sure as hell hasn't turned out the way i thought it would, that's for damn sure. i love my daughter more than anything in this world and i want the best for her and this unborn baby. i mean, if it weren't for the kids, i wouldn't mind being in the camper. we'd be out partying and working and saving money for a house. but it's not like that. we have responsibilities and alex stil just wants to party and it pisses me off. we're going to lose our house and he's out getting drunk, he don't care. i know he does but he sure as hell doesn't act like he does. i'm just going in circles now, so i guess i'm going to sign out. that's all for now.