(no subject)
I think it started with facebook. At least, for me, my tendency to be able to just go online and play until I was bored used to exist quite happily.
But somewhere over the past 3 years or so...it may have been when I started facebook...I have come to subconsciously feel like I NEED the internet. Not need in a way meaning it's useful, but need as in I need validation from the internet.
So I can get stuck in this cycle of checking my email, checking etsy, checking lj, checking my twitter feed, visiting regretsy, visiting catalog living....and then what? Feeling strange and empty. Feeling like if only I keep looking online I will find....what? What could I possibly find? A magic time machine? A panacea? An answer to the meaning of life? A new friend? Money? What?
I don't know. And I think that's why it's so vitally important for me to actually spend time with people. With actual people. Whether it be through Al-Anon meetings, having lunch with Juanathan, tea with my neighbor, cake with Mandy, a weekend with Mike and his family, even just shooting the shit with Doug while I paint another pottery piece...whatever.
Because when I sit inside and the dishes are done, and the laundry is put away, and my fingers hurt from making jewelry...or even if none of these things have happened...I get online and I look and look and search and search and with each disappointing site become more disappointed. So I continue to search, and look, and wait.
Which is silly. And pointless. And ultimately very unhealthy.
But somewhere over the past 3 years or so...it may have been when I started facebook...I have come to subconsciously feel like I NEED the internet. Not need in a way meaning it's useful, but need as in I need validation from the internet.
So I can get stuck in this cycle of checking my email, checking etsy, checking lj, checking my twitter feed, visiting regretsy, visiting catalog living....and then what? Feeling strange and empty. Feeling like if only I keep looking online I will find....what? What could I possibly find? A magic time machine? A panacea? An answer to the meaning of life? A new friend? Money? What?
I don't know. And I think that's why it's so vitally important for me to actually spend time with people. With actual people. Whether it be through Al-Anon meetings, having lunch with Juanathan, tea with my neighbor, cake with Mandy, a weekend with Mike and his family, even just shooting the shit with Doug while I paint another pottery piece...whatever.
Because when I sit inside and the dishes are done, and the laundry is put away, and my fingers hurt from making jewelry...or even if none of these things have happened...I get online and I look and look and search and search and with each disappointing site become more disappointed. So I continue to search, and look, and wait.
Which is silly. And pointless. And ultimately very unhealthy.