Harry Potter and the Problem with Polyjuice
Title: Harry Potter and the Problem with Polyjuice
Rating: hard R
Length 1010 words
Pairing: Harry/Ron, sort of
AN: This is for lalejandra, who yells at me to post it on a regular basis.
***
Harry's Polyjuice problem began in sixth year through a combination of fatal factors, those being primarily: 1) overwhelming boredom in the face of being trapped at Hogwarts while everything important happened elsewhere, 2) Ronald Bilius Weasley and 3) Professor Snape leaving them alone with his supply cabinet for nearly twenty minutes while they were having detention in his dungeon.
"Let's nick something," Ron said, getting up from where he had been scrubbing the floor and wandering into Snape's office.
"What for?" Harry asked, wiping sweat off his forehead. "I don't fancy making extra potions in my spare time."
Harry heard Ron opening a cupboard in the other room. "Hey, we should take bicorn horn and boomslang skin and make Polyjuice potion again," Ron said.
"Um, why?"
Ron thought for a moment. "Change into girls, go into their bathroom, and see them naked," he said.
Harry shrugged. "All right. But take it fast, Snape'll be back any minute."
Three weeks later the potion was ready and Ron and Harry had procured hair from Hermione and Parvati Patil.
"This is a stupid idea," Harry said, looking with distaste at the thick liquid bubbling in the second stall of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
"No, it's brilliant," Ron said. "Think boobies, Harry. Besides, you have something better to do tonight?"
Harry thought for a second before sighing. "No," he said resignedly, taking the glass of potion Ron handed him and adding Hermione's hair.
Ten minutes later, two girls walking with a distinctly masculine air opened the door to the Gryffindor girl's bathroom and slipped inside to find it... empty.
"Okay," Ron-in-Parvati's-body said. "Now we wait for naked girls to show up." He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms under his breasts. The girls' bathroom was a lot nicer than the boys' - the tubs were larger, the towels were fluffier, and there were fancy knobs for bubble bath like in the prefect bathroom.
Harry leaned beside Ron, but was thinking about things other than naked girls. It was strange to be in this other body, smaller and more delicate. Breasts and painted toenails and extra empty space in the front of his jeans. And... nobody had stared at him in the hallway, nobody whispered when he walked past. There was a strange giddy freedom in being Hermione; in not being the orphaned Boy Who Lived, but being the daughter of dentists with no destiny except the one she'd make for herself.
Hermione had three freckles on the back of her right hand that Harry couldn't stop looking at.
After half an hour had passed without anyone entering the bathroom, Ron began to get annoyed. "We've only got half an hour left! Why aren't any of them here?"
Harry looked up from his examination of Hermione's fingernails. "Ron," he said, "maybe the only girls coming to this bathroom tonight are us." He shrugged, enjoying the feel of Hermione's shoulders moving up and down smoothly. "Maybe we should just go walk around for awhile longer."
Ron looked at Harry with something dawning in his eyes. "Wait, Harry... we wanted to see naked girls. Well... we're girls. And we could be naked."
"What? Uh, no. No way, Ron."
"C'mon," Ron wheedled. "I wanna see Hermione naked. What do you care?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. You first."
Ron started running hot water into one of the big tubs. It filled up a lot faster than Harry would have liked, and after just a few minutes Ron had turned off the tap and they were standing there awkwardly. Finally Ron squared his shoulders and, not looking at Harry, shucked off his robes. Harry followed.
So they were naked and in the tub, and Ron was looking at Harry with a hungry look Harry didn't entirely like. But Harry was probably doing the same thing to Ron, since he couldn't quite wrench his eyes away from Parvati's dark nipples. She was... pretty. Really pretty.
Harry started when Ron-as-Parvati suddenly lunged at him. But his back was against the back of the tub, so he couldn't really move away, and then they were, like, kissing, with tongue, and Ron was pawing at Harry's breasts in a rather unpleasant way.
"Ron," he tried to say, but it just made a mmmph kind of sound against Ron's mouth, and then Harry realized that he was kissing the prettiest girl in his year and maybe he should shut up and enjoy it. He tentatively put out a hand to touch Parvati's breast, and felt her - Ron's - nipple harden.
This was really fucked up, but Harry couldn't say he wasn't enjoying it, the warm water around them, a girl's soft tongue in his mouth, her hand moving lower on his body.
They snogged for a really long time. Ron's hands was between Harry's legs and... feeling around, and then Harry was feeling him too, girl parts, and it was so distracting that Harry didn't feel the Polyjuice begin to lose effect until suddenly there were *boy* parts under his hand, and he and Ron leapt away from each other so fast about half the water slopped out of the tub.
They scrambled back into their clothes more quickly than Harry had thought possible, even though he (and Ron too, from what he could see) was somewhat uncomfortably aroused.
They walked most of the way back to Myrtle's bathroom in embarrassed silence, Ron's ears bright red under the wet hair slicked to his scalp. As they reached the corridor on the second floor, Ron said, "Well, that was probably the gayest thing we've ever done."
"By quite a wide margin," Harry said.
"We don't really need to ever talk about this again," Ron said.
"No, never," Harry agreed. And on top of the horrible embarrassment over what had happened, he also wasn't much liking being back in his own skin - his stupid skinny arms, his hair sticking up, his scar marking him out.
Harry volunteered to clean up the remaining potion, but instead he scooped it into a flask and tucked it into his robes.
***
Rating: hard R
Length 1010 words
Pairing: Harry/Ron, sort of
AN: This is for lalejandra, who yells at me to post it on a regular basis.
***
Harry's Polyjuice problem began in sixth year through a combination of fatal factors, those being primarily: 1) overwhelming boredom in the face of being trapped at Hogwarts while everything important happened elsewhere, 2) Ronald Bilius Weasley and 3) Professor Snape leaving them alone with his supply cabinet for nearly twenty minutes while they were having detention in his dungeon.
"Let's nick something," Ron said, getting up from where he had been scrubbing the floor and wandering into Snape's office.
"What for?" Harry asked, wiping sweat off his forehead. "I don't fancy making extra potions in my spare time."
Harry heard Ron opening a cupboard in the other room. "Hey, we should take bicorn horn and boomslang skin and make Polyjuice potion again," Ron said.
"Um, why?"
Ron thought for a moment. "Change into girls, go into their bathroom, and see them naked," he said.
Harry shrugged. "All right. But take it fast, Snape'll be back any minute."
Three weeks later the potion was ready and Ron and Harry had procured hair from Hermione and Parvati Patil.
"This is a stupid idea," Harry said, looking with distaste at the thick liquid bubbling in the second stall of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
"No, it's brilliant," Ron said. "Think boobies, Harry. Besides, you have something better to do tonight?"
Harry thought for a second before sighing. "No," he said resignedly, taking the glass of potion Ron handed him and adding Hermione's hair.
Ten minutes later, two girls walking with a distinctly masculine air opened the door to the Gryffindor girl's bathroom and slipped inside to find it... empty.
"Okay," Ron-in-Parvati's-body said. "Now we wait for naked girls to show up." He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms under his breasts. The girls' bathroom was a lot nicer than the boys' - the tubs were larger, the towels were fluffier, and there were fancy knobs for bubble bath like in the prefect bathroom.
Harry leaned beside Ron, but was thinking about things other than naked girls. It was strange to be in this other body, smaller and more delicate. Breasts and painted toenails and extra empty space in the front of his jeans. And... nobody had stared at him in the hallway, nobody whispered when he walked past. There was a strange giddy freedom in being Hermione; in not being the orphaned Boy Who Lived, but being the daughter of dentists with no destiny except the one she'd make for herself.
Hermione had three freckles on the back of her right hand that Harry couldn't stop looking at.
After half an hour had passed without anyone entering the bathroom, Ron began to get annoyed. "We've only got half an hour left! Why aren't any of them here?"
Harry looked up from his examination of Hermione's fingernails. "Ron," he said, "maybe the only girls coming to this bathroom tonight are us." He shrugged, enjoying the feel of Hermione's shoulders moving up and down smoothly. "Maybe we should just go walk around for awhile longer."
Ron looked at Harry with something dawning in his eyes. "Wait, Harry... we wanted to see naked girls. Well... we're girls. And we could be naked."
"What? Uh, no. No way, Ron."
"C'mon," Ron wheedled. "I wanna see Hermione naked. What do you care?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. You first."
Ron started running hot water into one of the big tubs. It filled up a lot faster than Harry would have liked, and after just a few minutes Ron had turned off the tap and they were standing there awkwardly. Finally Ron squared his shoulders and, not looking at Harry, shucked off his robes. Harry followed.
So they were naked and in the tub, and Ron was looking at Harry with a hungry look Harry didn't entirely like. But Harry was probably doing the same thing to Ron, since he couldn't quite wrench his eyes away from Parvati's dark nipples. She was... pretty. Really pretty.
Harry started when Ron-as-Parvati suddenly lunged at him. But his back was against the back of the tub, so he couldn't really move away, and then they were, like, kissing, with tongue, and Ron was pawing at Harry's breasts in a rather unpleasant way.
"Ron," he tried to say, but it just made a mmmph kind of sound against Ron's mouth, and then Harry realized that he was kissing the prettiest girl in his year and maybe he should shut up and enjoy it. He tentatively put out a hand to touch Parvati's breast, and felt her - Ron's - nipple harden.
This was really fucked up, but Harry couldn't say he wasn't enjoying it, the warm water around them, a girl's soft tongue in his mouth, her hand moving lower on his body.
They snogged for a really long time. Ron's hands was between Harry's legs and... feeling around, and then Harry was feeling him too, girl parts, and it was so distracting that Harry didn't feel the Polyjuice begin to lose effect until suddenly there were *boy* parts under his hand, and he and Ron leapt away from each other so fast about half the water slopped out of the tub.
They scrambled back into their clothes more quickly than Harry had thought possible, even though he (and Ron too, from what he could see) was somewhat uncomfortably aroused.
They walked most of the way back to Myrtle's bathroom in embarrassed silence, Ron's ears bright red under the wet hair slicked to his scalp. As they reached the corridor on the second floor, Ron said, "Well, that was probably the gayest thing we've ever done."
"By quite a wide margin," Harry said.
"We don't really need to ever talk about this again," Ron said.
"No, never," Harry agreed. And on top of the horrible embarrassment over what had happened, he also wasn't much liking being back in his own skin - his stupid skinny arms, his hair sticking up, his scar marking him out.
Harry volunteered to clean up the remaining potion, but instead he scooped it into a flask and tucked it into his robes.
***