FIC: Vol. One of the Encyclopedia Self-Destructica (Lenny/Carl, the Simpsons)
Title: Vol. One of the Encyclopedia Self-Destructica
Fandom: The Simpsons
Pairing: Lenny/Carl
Rating: PG
Length: 360 words
AN: This was moireach's idea, during The Simpsons tonight, and I wrote it really fast. Just to warn you. For the_avril_game.
Summary: Oh, you know, angst and longing, second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse.
***
"We don't have to be together all the time," Carl says, after their shift ends at work.
"I know," Lenny says. "Come on, Carl, do you think I don't have anything better to do than hang around with you?"
"Yeah, well," says Carl, and they both go to Moe's.
***
Carl always takes Lenny home when he gets too drunk. Lenny's head is smushed into Carl's neck as they leave the bar, and Homer's laughing.
"Look at you! Carl, you are so drunk!"
"He's Lenny," Carl says patiently. "I'm Carl."
"Oh yeah?" Homer says. "Then why are you the black one?"
Carl's neck smells like cologne and sweat and cigarette smoke. Lenny closes his eyes and breathes it in.
Homer's laughing. "He's sniffing your neck! That is so gay! Are you going to go home and have some of the gay sex?"
"Oh, shut up, Homer," Carl says, and pushes Lenny away. "I've don't have time to take you home, Lenny. You're fine."
"But I'm really drunk," Lenny says. He puts his hand out to balance himself on a barstool, but misses and staggers, stumbles forward and catches himself on the bar. The wood's sticky under his hands. "Carl," he says, but the door's already swinging shut.
Moe answers the phone, then looks around at the room. "Ivana Crap? Ivana Crap! Ivana Crap in the room?"
Carl walks back in the door, looking sheepish. "I forgot we took your car," he says to Lenny. "Give me the keys."
Lenny pushes himself up and looks through his pockets. The room is spinning, so it takes him awhile to find them and hold them out. He doesn't realize he's tipping over until Carl catches him by one of his suspenders and steadies him.
"Hey, thanks," Lenny says. Carl's knuckles are warm where they brush his shoulder.
"All right," Carl mutters as they head for the door. "Don't get all sappy on me."
***
Once, Bart Simpson paid them to kiss. Sometimes Lenny thinks about giving the kid money and asking him to do it again. Make it open-mouthed this time, Bart, he'd say.
Also, this time he'd make sure to get the money afterwards.
***
END
Fandom: The Simpsons
Pairing: Lenny/Carl
Rating: PG
Length: 360 words
AN: This was moireach's idea, during The Simpsons tonight, and I wrote it really fast. Just to warn you. For the_avril_game.
Summary: Oh, you know, angst and longing, second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse.
***
"We don't have to be together all the time," Carl says, after their shift ends at work.
"I know," Lenny says. "Come on, Carl, do you think I don't have anything better to do than hang around with you?"
"Yeah, well," says Carl, and they both go to Moe's.
***
Carl always takes Lenny home when he gets too drunk. Lenny's head is smushed into Carl's neck as they leave the bar, and Homer's laughing.
"Look at you! Carl, you are so drunk!"
"He's Lenny," Carl says patiently. "I'm Carl."
"Oh yeah?" Homer says. "Then why are you the black one?"
Carl's neck smells like cologne and sweat and cigarette smoke. Lenny closes his eyes and breathes it in.
Homer's laughing. "He's sniffing your neck! That is so gay! Are you going to go home and have some of the gay sex?"
"Oh, shut up, Homer," Carl says, and pushes Lenny away. "I've don't have time to take you home, Lenny. You're fine."
"But I'm really drunk," Lenny says. He puts his hand out to balance himself on a barstool, but misses and staggers, stumbles forward and catches himself on the bar. The wood's sticky under his hands. "Carl," he says, but the door's already swinging shut.
Moe answers the phone, then looks around at the room. "Ivana Crap? Ivana Crap! Ivana Crap in the room?"
Carl walks back in the door, looking sheepish. "I forgot we took your car," he says to Lenny. "Give me the keys."
Lenny pushes himself up and looks through his pockets. The room is spinning, so it takes him awhile to find them and hold them out. He doesn't realize he's tipping over until Carl catches him by one of his suspenders and steadies him.
"Hey, thanks," Lenny says. Carl's knuckles are warm where they brush his shoulder.
"All right," Carl mutters as they head for the door. "Don't get all sappy on me."
***
Once, Bart Simpson paid them to kiss. Sometimes Lenny thinks about giving the kid money and asking him to do it again. Make it open-mouthed this time, Bart, he'd say.
Also, this time he'd make sure to get the money afterwards.
***
END