FIC: Champagne from a paper cup (is never quite the same) 4/4
The official story that Morgana released was exactly what Uther had told Merlin: that despite Valiant's Nefarious Purposes (capitalized for emphasis), Merlin's intervention and quick response helped prevent a more serious injury.
As a result, Merlin was thrown into the spotlight, becoming something of a hero. On the one hand, it was nice being able to actually take credit for something he'd done, even if no one but he, Arthur, and Gaius knew the entire story.
On the other, Merlin had never enjoyed being the centre of attention. He wasn't shy, by any means; close scrutiny just made him nervous, and all of a sudden, overnight, everyone wanted to know everything about him. What his childhood was like, what had made him want to become a doctor, how his clinical work had progressed before going to work for the club, his marks at school, so on and so forth.
The university loved the attention; professors that Merlin was sure he'd never even met were suddenly coming forward to tell the media how they'd always believed he was going to do great things. People started stopping him randomly to congratulate him, or to talk to him about it. It took absolutely everything he had not to tell the lot of them to just fuck off.
The only person who didn’t seem all that impressed was Arthur. His official position was that yes, he was grateful for Merlin's quick thinking, but ultimately he was focused on getting back onto the pitch and resuming his hunt for the goal record as soon as possible. He’d be back on the pitch in two weeks, and then he had over a month in which to score the final five goals.
He was once again Abion’s golden boy, untouchable in every way. Untouchable even, it turned out, for Merlin.
After it happened, it was impossible to get Arthur alone when they were at the stadium. There was always someone around, be it reporters or paparazzi or Uther checking up on his son’s progress. Before, when that was the case, Arthur would call or text him. But Merlin’s phone remained stubbornly silent.
At first Merlin thought all Arthur needed was a bit of time to process what had happened, what he’d learned about Merlin. He had to have been connecting the dots between all the work Merlin had done on his knee and what Merlin had done to fix his ankle, and Merlin could appreciate that it was a lot to take in. He missed him, missed him terribly, but he could give Arthur time.
And then Gauis told Merlin that Arthur had requested that Gaius work with him on rehabilitating the injury.
“Oh,” Merlin said, stung. “Did he say why?”
“He said that, given the situation, he would prefer it if I were to take over any further treatment on his ankle,” and here Gaius hesitated, “and in general.”
“The situation,” Merlin repeated flatly, anger bubbling up in his chest for the first time. “What situation would that be, exactly? The one where he bloody goaded Valiant into trying to maim him and then I fixed it so that he could keep going after his stupid record?”
Gaius put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Merlin, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way….”
“I know, I know,” he said, sighing, dropping his head. “You told me so.”
“Just because someone can do something extraordinary-,” he said, putting a finger under Merlin’s chin and lifting his head to look him in the eye, “-and you are extraordinary-doesn’t mean that people are going to accept it. Sometimes it is just beyond what they want to comprehend.”
“I know,” Merlin said, feeling his eyes start to sting. Bloody hell, he was not going to cry. “I just thought-“
“I know,” Gaius said, pulling him into a hug. Merlin hugged him back tightly, grateful for his uncle’s support. “Would that I could have spared you the lesson, Merlin. But you’re stubborn. You always were,” he said fondly. “Now come on, there’s work to be done.”
“Right,” Merlin said, straightening and putting on a smile for his uncle’s benefit, when all he really wanted to do what go home and curl up into a ball on the couch. “Lead the way.”
1 May 2011
Camelot United vs. Wessex FC
Goals Needed to Break Record: 5
“How could I have been so stupid?” he asked, his face buried in his hands as the match blared on the television in the background. Elena sat on the couch next to him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “I should’ve known better,” he continued. “I should’ve fucking listened to Gaius and just left it alone. I wish I’d never done it,” he added, feeling a bit spiteful.
“You don’t mean that,” Elena said, quiet but firm. “I know that you don’t mean that.”
“And why shouldn’t I? The stupid arse couldn’t even bloody say thank you, even though the only reason he’s playing today at all is because of me.”
Arthur had been travelling with the club, but Merlin hadn’t gone to an away match since The Incident. There was no point, really. It had never been required of him to travel with the club. But he’d gone because Arthur had always asked, and Merlin had wanted to be with him.
He let out a groan.
“I am such a stupid fool,” he said, pressing the heels of his hands hard against his eyes. He’d already cried once today, and that had been Elena’s fault. She’d arrived at his flat, taken one look at him, and her face had gone so sad, like her heart was breaking for him. He hadn’t been able to keep his face from crumpling in response.
“You are not a fool,” Elena said. “You are kind and generous and wonderful. The only thing you did wrong was thinking that stupid, selfish arsehole would appreciate what you did for him.”
Elena had been livid when Merlin had told her about his conversation with Gaius. She’d stomped around his flat red-faced for a good twenty minutes spewing profanity. Merlin had just watched her, bemused. If nothing else, it made him feel better that she was so vehemently on his side.
“Thanks, Ellie,” he said, leaning to the side and resting his head against her shoulder briefly.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything? My offer still stands.”
During her tirade, she’d threatened more than once to chop Arthur’s “stupid cock off” and cram it in several uncomfortable places. He had to chuckle.
“No, it’s okay. I’d love to know how you think you’d pull that off, though.”
“Gwaine would help. I know he would. Maybe some of the other lads as well.”
It hadn’t taken long for Gwaine to cotton on that something was amiss between Arthur and Merlin, and once he got a sketchy idea of what’d happened there was no keeping it from the others. But because all that they knew was that Merlin had somehow performed a miracle and kept Arthur’s quest alive, and then in return Arthur had apparently dumped Merlin, they’d been quick to rally around Merlin. Even Leon was angry, and Leon never got angry.
But that wasn’t what Merlin wanted, to be the cause of strife between members of the club. He’d already asked that everyone behave, or at the very least keep up appearances. They’d get their message across-Arthur would know the difference.
“It’s fine, Ellie,” he said, smiling at her. “I’ll be all right. I’ve just got to buckle down on my exams for now. I’ll be over it before you know it.”
From the dubious look she gave him, he hadn’t done a very good job of lying through his teeth.
22 May 2011
Camelot United vs. North Umbria
Goals Needed to Break Record: 0
Slumped on his sofa, Merlin watched as the players swarmed the pitch, lifting Arthur up onto their shoulders in celebration. He raised his arms in and threw his head back, shouting something and then laughing as they carried him about.
Next to him, Elena slipped her fingers between his and squeezed.
25 May 2011
“Oh, bollocks,” Merlin said, coming to a halt right inside the personnel exit. He had another interview, his second to last, and he’d forgotten to grab his notes from the training room before leaving.
He ran back toward the clubhouse and threw the door open, coming face-to-face with Arthur.
They both froze, Arthur with his shirt half on and Merlin just inside the doorway. Arthur had become good at making himself scarce, and Merlin hadn’t really seen him since the club had returned from North Umbria and Arthur had broken the record.
After a few awkward moments, Arthur recovered first and pulled his shirt over his head. Merlin hated the fact that he couldn’t help but stare, couldn’t help but think how beautiful Arthur was, even after all that’d happened.
“Stop standing there with your mouth open,” Arthur said. “You look ridiculous.”
“Fuck you,” Merlin shot back, shock slowly being replaced by anger.
“How many times have I told you,” Arthur said, sounding tired as he packed his clothes into his bag. “You can’t talk to me that way.”
“How many times have I told you that I’ll talk to you any way I damn well please,” Merlin said, turning toward the training room, because he really didn’t want to deal with this when he had an interview to go to.
“Not about everything, apparently,” Arthur muttered under his breath. Merlin turned back to face him.
“What was that?”
“You bloody well heard me,” Arthur shot back, angry, the first real hint of emotion Merlin had seen from him in over a month.
“Oh yeah, because you’re doing such a bang-up job making me feel like I could’ve told you about it.”
Arthur actually laughed. “What did you expect? That I was going to be fine with it? That I was just going to forget about the fact that you lied to me-“
“I didn’t lie!”
“Fine, that you neglected to tell me that you can, I don’t know, do magic, and that everything would go back to the way it was? If that’s the case, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought.”
Merlin felt his shoulders sag a bit. He knew that Arthur had a point.
“I was going to tell you.”
“Oh yeah? When?”
“I-I don’t know. I’d just decided that day to tell you, but obviously I wasn’t expecting all of that to happen.”
“You shouldn’t have waited even that long. You should've trusted me.”
“All right, fine-“
“Did you do anything else?”
Merlin paused, looking at Arthur, who was standing rigidly next to the bench, fists clenched. “What do you mean?”
“Did you do anything else?” Arthur repeated, waving his hand back and forth between them. “This-you and I-did you do something to make that happen?”
He blinked, unable to comprehend what Arthur was asking him. He took in Arthur’s belligerent stance, his anger, and understood. It hurt, deeper than anything had thus far, that Arthur would think that of him.
“How can you even ask that?”
“Why not? It’s not like I had anyone explain it to me, or anything. How am I supposed to know the rules?”
“I may not have told you about this one thing,” he started, ignoring it when Arthur snorted, “but you know me.”
“Not as well as I thought, apparently.”
It was hard because Arthur was partly right, and were he in a sounder frame of mind, Merlin might’ve used the opportunity to try and salvage the situation. He could see that Arthur wasn’t just angry, he was also hurt and confused. It was there, plain as day, in his eyes and in the way he held himself defensively.
But Merlin was hurt, too, and he was so, so angry that Arthur would accuse him of that. So he said nothing, and they stood there watching each other until the door opened and Gwaine walked in, stopping short when he saw them.
“What’s going on?” he immediately asked, eyes darting back and forth between them. While the atmosphere had grown a bit warmer between Arthur and the others as time had passed, Gwaine remained staunchly on Merlin’s side.
“Nothing,” Arthur said immediately. Gwaine ignored him completely and moved closer to Merlin, placing a hand on his shoulder, giving him a little shake. Merlin saw the tic in Arthur’s jaw at the touch.
“You all right, mate?” he asked.
Merlin finally tore his gaze away from Arthur and looked at his friend, trying to smile.
“I’m fine. Just forgot my notes for the interview.” He glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned. “Which I am going to be late for. I’ll never make it by train.”
“I’ll drive you.”
Merlin’s smile became more genuine. “Thanks. I’ll just grab my notes and I’ll be right out.”
“You sure you don’t want me to wait?”
“Nope, I’m good.”
Gwaine hesitated a bit longer, but when Merlin turned toward the training room, he eventually left. Merlin grabbed his notes and stuffed them into his bag.
When he got back out into the dressing room, Arthur was sitting on the bench, his elbows resting on his knees, his head buried in his hands. Merlin continued to the door, knowing that Gwaine hadn’t gone to his car and would be waiting in the hall for Merlin to come out.
He stopped
“By the way,” he said, waiting for Arthur to lift his head and look at him. “Congratulations.”
Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but Merlin turned away and went to meet Gwaine, letting the door close behind him.
1 June 2011
After Arthur broke the record, the remainder of the season was a complete anti-climax. There’d been only three games left to play after North Umbria, and the results hardly mattered. The club wound up winning the league trophy, but even that was overshadowed by Arthur’s accomplishment.
Predictably, the coverage was completely insane. Arthur’s face was everywhere: on every news programme, on the cover of every tab and magazine. Companies even ran congratulatory posters on the sides of buses and taxis, all because they were so proud of their “prince.”
Merlin didn’t see Arthur much. Having sat out the games after breaking the record, he only came in for the last match, which was at home, where they’d been presented with the trophy. The roar from the crowd when Arthur had hoisted it had been deafening.
Merlin hadn’t bothered coming in to work that day.
The players were officially done now, and everyone was running around packing up their things. Merlin himself had managed to accumulate a small pile, things he’d brought in and left, or random things he’d picked up along the way. He left all of the things that he’d gotten from or with Arthur, not wanting the reminder.
He was doing better, though-he’d sat his last exam the day prior, and he was no longer crushingly depressed about the whole situation. He’d had a difficult few weeks since their conversation, and Merlin still missed Arthur terribly. But he’d gotten much better at shoving those kinds of thoughts aside, only to be brought out when he was alone and very, very drunk.
He was just cinching his bag shut when Gaius knocked on the door.
“Hi,” Merlin said, smiling. Both his uncle and Uther had given stellar recommendations to his university and to the doctors he’d interviewed with, and as a result he’d had several offers. He was going to take a bit of time off first to relax before deciding.
“Uther sent me to get you-he wants to speak with you,” Gaius said.
“He does? Why?”
“One does not ask Uther ‘why’ he does things, Merlin. One simply does them.”
Merlin shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “All right.”
Merlin hadn’t been up to Uther’s office since the altercation nearly nine months prior, and he had to smile a bit at how things had changed since then. He and Arthur were still on the outs; that bit hadn’t changed, but the reasons for it couldn’t possibly be more different.
There was no waiting this time, and Uther looked up when they entered the office. Morgana was there as well-she smiled at him, a bit sad, and he felt a pang of guilt. She’d tried talking to him a few times after things had gone to shit with Arthur, but he’d brushed her off, not wanting to have to explain what’d happened. As a result, he hadn’t seen her much.
“Ah, Merlin,” Uther said. “Please, sit down.”
Merlin sat, once again struck with déjà vu as Gaius took the seat next to him. “I don’t think I had the chance to congratulate you yet, sir, on the club’s accomplishments this season.”
Morgana rolled her eyes at Merlin’s blatant arse-kissing, kicking his shoe gently. He smiled up at her, knowing he was forgiven for whatever might’ve happened the past few weeks. Uther didn’t appear to mind, though.
“Thank you! Though I dare say we wouldn’t have nearly as much to celebrate if it weren’t for you.”
Ignoring the way his stomach suddenly lurched, Merlin smiled. “Honestly, it was more luck than anything. But thank you.”
Uther sat back in his chair, steepling his fingers together as he examined Merlin. He tried not to fidget under the scrutiny. He might’ve gotten a bit more comfortable around Uther, but the man was still intimidating.
Finally Uther sat forward and rested his elbows on his desk. “You’ve worked hard, Merlin, and the players speak very highly of you. Really, they cannot say enough good things about you.”
His smile was much more genuine this time. “I’ve enjoyed working with them as well.”
“You’re also very humble, which I like. So many people would’ve handled that business with Valiant Greene differently-would’ve sold the story, or otherwise tried to profit from it.”
Merlin frowned. The idea had never occurred to him. Uther stood up and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning against it as he looked down at Merlin.
“I understand you’ve been interviewing for positions,” he said, waiting for Merlin to nod in confirmation. “Have you made a decision?”
“No, sir. I have a while yet before I have to choose.”
“Well, in that case, I’d like to offer you another option.”
Merlin darted a quick glance at his uncle. “Sir?”
“As a junior physician here, with the club. It’s a bit unorthodox, I know, but so was your employment in the first place.”
Somehow, of all the reasons he’d conjured up for Uther wanting to see him, offering him a job hadn’t been on the list. On the one hand, he was elated. What an accomplishment, and what a job to get right out of university! On the other hand….
Arthur.
He didn’t want to be stuck in an awkward work environment. And to be honest, he didn’t want to stand around and watch while Arthur went back to his old way of life, pulling left and right. Not when a part of him still wanted Arthur for himself.
Even so, he’d be damned if he was going to let Arthur Pendragon chase him out of a dream job.
“When do you need to know?” Merlin asked, looking up at Uther. Both he and Morgana looked surprised, as though it hadn’t occurred to them that Merlin wouldn’t accept on the spot. Knowing Uther’s temperament, he rushed to mitigate.
“I’d just like to think about it for a bit. I’d been planning on going back to Ealdor after school finished.”
That wasn’t entirely true, but they didn’t have to know that. Uther nodded.
“Of course you’ll need time to think about it,” he said, standing and walking back around to sit in his chair. “When do you need to decide on your other positions?”
“The end of July.” Some were earlier, but that was the date for the one Merlin was most inclined to accept.
“That should be fine,” Uther said. “The club starts back here in August.”
“Thank you.”
“Good. I look forward to hearing from you. Enjoy your time off.”
Dismissed, Merlin stood to go.
“I’ll walk you out,” Morgana said, taking him by the arm, “I’ve got to go find Leon anyway.”
While they stood waiting for the lift, Morgana turned to him.
“Listen,” she started, and Merlin scrunched up his face.
“Morgana-“
“No, hear me out. I don’t know what happened between you and Arthur, but I really hope you’re not considering turning the job down because of him.”
Merlin looked at her, surprised. The lift dinged as it arrived, and as they stepped on, he figured he owed her some sort of explanation.
“That’s part of it,” he admitted. “But the reason I didn’t say no outright is because, well, frankly, I’d be an idiot if I did. I just need some time to wrap my head around it.”
He let that sink in as they descended. They were almost to the dressing room when she stopped him.
“He misses you.”
Merlin looked down at the ground, a hot feeling spreading inside his chest. He scuffed a toe against the cement.
“He’s got a funny way of showing it.” He supposed they both did, but he allowed himself the pettiness.
“That’s because he’s got the emotional capacity of a brick,” Morgana said, and Merlin had to laugh. “Except when he was with you. He was different then.”
“Morgana-“
“I know, I know,” she said, putting her hands up. “I’m not meddling. I just wanted to let you know that. In case you were wondering.”
“I hadn’t been,” Merlin lied, “but thank you.”
She kissed him on the cheek before going into the dressing room, leaving him standing alone in the hallway.
22 July 2011
“Arthur Pendragon’s outside!”
Merlin dropped the pound coins he’d been about to hand to the cashier, swearing as they rolled all over the counter.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said, trying to collect them. The clerk, however, wasn’t paying him any attention.
“Oh my-didn’t you hear? It’s Arthur Pendragon! Here, in Ealdor!”
Merlin had heard, all right. He just was not prepared to deal with the possible implications of that fact. “Yes, I’m not deaf. Can I just buy these, and then you can go and gawk along with everyone else?”
He hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but he tended to lash out when he was panicking. Which he was. A lot. What the devil would bring Arthur here to Ealdor, to the very same store where Merlin was? Wasn’t he meant to be in America with the club? Surely the fates didn’t hate him that much.
The clerk narrowed her eyes at him before snatching his coins and practically throwing them into the till. She shoved his change at him. “Have a nice day, sir.”
All right, he deserved that. He gathered up the bag with the rolls his mother had called frantically about not fifteen minutes earlier.
“Where are you?” she’d asked, sounding breathless. When he’d told her, she’d said, “Could you stop by the bakery and pick up some rolls for dinner? I forgot to tell you before you left.”
“Old age, mum, I’m telling you,” he’d teased, changing course to pass the small bakery on his way back from the green grocer. Expecting reproach for his cheek, he’d been surprised when she said,
“I love you, my boy.” And then hung up. He’d looked at the phone and shrugged, stuffing it into his pocket.
Sighing, he pulled one of the rolls out of the bag and took a bite, chewing as he pondered what to do.
He’d been in Ealdor for about a month, happy to get away from Camelot and everything he’d left behind. Elena had gone to New York to meet up with Gwaine, and she’d be travelling with him for the next few weeks. Merlin was happy for her, he really was, but a part of him couldn’t help resenting the fact that he probably would’ve gone, too, had he still been with Arthur.
Having had a lot of time to think about it, he understood that they were both to blame: Merlin for not telling Arthur and Arthur for his reaction. But the fact of the matter was that Arthur had pushed him away, and hadn’t given any indication that he’d had second thoughts about that.
Until now.
He looked toward the door. In the past, he’d always tried to hide when Arthur did something like this, tried to blend in with the crowd.
But no, not this time. This was his home, and he wasn’t going to so skulking off like he had something to be ashamed of. Arthur was bloody well going to see him.
He walked to the front of the bakery with his bags. Arthur’s Aston was parked outside, and there was a small crowd around him. As always, he was smiling and chatting with people as he signed autographs and posed for photographs. He was tanned, and his hair was bleached blond from running around in the sun, or frolicking on the beach, or whatever the hell else he’d been doing.
He looked amazing.
Merlin tried not to feel self-conscious about the fact that he’d let his hair go a bit, or that he hadn’t shaved in several days, or that he was in a t-shirt and ratty jeans. It wasn’t like any of it mattered.
Shaking his head, he pushed the door open. The bell attached to it tinkled as it moved, drawing Arthur’s attention. Even behind his stupid aviator sunglasses, Merlin could see his eyes widen.
“Merlin,” he said.
Getting Arthur’s attention had seemed like a good idea in theory, but in reality he was completely unprepared. He hadn’t felt his magic at all since he’d used it on Arthur, like it’d known something was broken. But now it kicked in with a jolt that left him slightly breathless.
Suddenly wanting to avoid this confrontation, he hopped down the two steps to the pavement and started walking. He wasn’t about to break into a run, but it was a close thing.
Just when he thought he’d gotten far enough away that he was almost safe, he heard footsteps pounding on the pavement behind him.
“Merlin, wait,” Arthur said, sailing past him and then turning around, putting his hands up to stop Merlin’s progress.
“Get out of my way.”
“Just stop for a minute, would you?”
“No. Get out of my way,” Merlin repeated, his voice rising a bit in his agitation. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed people slowing down in recognition, or stopping to get a better look at Arthur.
When Arthur didn’t move, Merlin huffed out a breath and pushed past him. He was halted again when Arthur grabbed one of the bags from him.
“For fuck’s sake,” Merlin said, spinning around. “What do you fucking want, Arthur?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“The time for talking has well passed, I think,” Merlin said, tugging on his parcel, trying to get it away from Arthur. His flight instinct was kicking in, and he just wanted to get away from there.
But Arthur didn’t let go. “That’s fine, but if you walk away, I am just going to go back to my car and follow you, and I swear, Merlin, I will honk the horn and make a racket all the way back to your mother’s house.”
Merlin gaped at him for a moment before finding his tongue. “You stupid, insufferable prat. You would do that, wouldn’t you?”
They’d gathered a fairly large crowd around them by now, and Arthur darted a nervous glance around. He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “Can we please have this conversation somewhere that isn’t the main street of the sodding town?”
“Why should I care? I didn’t invite you here.”
“Fair enough, but do you really want to get into this in front of all these people, most of whom probably know your mother?”
Merlin pressed his lips together. Damn him, the stupid arse was right. He didn’t want to get into this on the main street, and most of these people did know his mother. He scowled, shoving his parcels at Arthur.
“Fine. You take these in your car. I’ll meet you back at my mother’s.”
Arthur frowned, juggling the packages until he had them righted. “What-where are you going?”
“I’m walking home. I need to get my head on straight.”
It seemed as though he was about to protest, but he took another look at Merlin’s face and wisely thought better of it. “Right, I’ll see you there.”
Merlin walked two full streets before he had to stop, ducking into an alleyway to lean against a wall. He clenched his hands into fists and pressed them back against the wall to stop them trembling.
He hadn’t realized how much anger he’d still had left inside him, or where it was coming from. He’d really wanted to hit Arthur, to punch him right in his stupid, beautiful face, just like he had that first day they’d met.
Merlin laughed out loud, drawing some odd looks from people passing by. He wondered if he and Arthur were stuck in some sort of weird cosmic loop, destined to keep repeating the same interactions over and over again until they finally got them right. He tipped his head back and rested it against the brick, taking deep breaths until he felt calmer.
He’d thought he had this sorted, this pain inside him that came from truly loving something and then losing it. He thought he’d been okay, he had been okay until Arthur showed up.
He realized that he’d been fooling himself thinking he’d be able to work for the club again, if this was what happened the minute he saw Arthur again. It would’ve been a complete disaster.
Sighing, he pushed himself away from the wall. Arthur would come back and look for him if he didn’t appear soon, of that he was certain. The walk back to his mum’s took him about twenty-five minutes, which he used to play out every possible way this could go. At the end of it, when he arrived home, he could only really conclude one thing.
He’d really missed Arthur.
Arthur, who was sitting on the steps surrounded by Merlin’s shopping, looking equally miserable. He gathered everything up when he saw Merlin and stood, waiting to be let in. He watched in silence as Merlin unpacked.
Finally, Merlin couldn’t take it anymore. “Why did you come here, Arthur?”
“To talk to you.”
“You couldn’t have called?”
“Would you have answered?”
Merlin thought about it for a while. “Probably not,” he concluded.
“Then no, I couldn’t have called.”
“So fine,” Merlin said, tired, as he finished with the groceries. “Talk.”
“I know that I acted like a complete arse,” Arthur started, looking down at the floor. “But I freaked out, all right? I had no idea what was happening.”
“So your first instinct was to assume that I’d put some sort of spell on you to make you want to be with me?”
That’d been the most difficult thing for Merlin to get over. He wasn’t entirely sure he was over it even now, since bringing it up again brought the ache back to his chest.
“I told you, I panicked. I mean, Merlin-what you did-“
“I understand that it was a big shock,” Merlin said, placing both hands flat on the counter, “but you didn’t even give me a chance to explain. You just pushed me away.”
“How was I supposed to react? It’s not every day you learn that your boyfriend has magical healing powers. There’s no rulebook for me to consult. As far as I know, you’re the only person that can do this.”
Merlin ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at the word “boyfriend,” trying to focus on his lingering anger.
“You were supposed to let me explain.”
“And you were supposed to tell me and not let me find out the way I did.”
“But it’s not like I did something bad to you. I healed you. If it weren’t for me, you'd never have broken that record.”
“Don’t you think I bloody well know that?” Arthur said, taking a step closer. “Don’t you think that’s the very first thing that crossed my mind when it happened?”
Merlin gave him a sad smile at that. “No. No, I don’t.”
Arthur swallowed, looking stricken. “Well, it was. I already knew by then that I’d cocked things up, and I didn’t know how to fix them.”
“You could’ve tried talking to me.”
“You could’ve told me.”
Merlin realized that they could go on like this, back and forth, blaming each other for a very long time. He was too tired for that.
“I told you, I was going to. Would you rather I had just left everything the way it was? That I’d let your ankle stay broken?”
Arthur didn’t answer. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “Were you really going to tell me?”
“Yes,” Merlin said, sighing. “The people who know-my mum, Gaius, Elena, Will-they’ve known for so long. I’ve never even considered telling someone else before. I hadn’t figured out how, or when, but I was going to.”
Arthur was silent for a moment, and then, “I’m sorry.”
The two words raised so many conflicting emotions that Merlin didn’t know what to say. He just nodded, rubbing his face with his hands. He felt Arthur move closer.
“I missed you,” Arthur admitted, his voice hesitant. “When I was overseas with the club, and I saw Elena with Gwaine, I wanted-well, I thought it would’ve been nice to have you there.”
Merlin cracked a genuine smile. “I thought the same thing every time she called.” He paused for a moment. “How are you even here? I thought the club wasn’t due back until next week.”
“I left early. They don’t really need me,” he answered easily enough, but Merlin could tell that wasn’t all.
“And?”
“And Elena threatened to cut my bollocks off one too many times. She’s a bit mental, that one.”
Merlin couldn’t help the grin. “Yeah, she might’ve mentioned wanting to do that a couple of times.”
Arthur shifted, his hand landing on Merlin’s shoulder. “Also, Morgana might’ve told me about the offer my father made you. And that you haven’t accepted yet.”
“Oh,” Merlin said. “That.”
“Merlin, you have to take the job. It would be completely insane for you to turn it down.”
Merlin sighed, turning and leaning a hip against the counter. “I know. I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Why on earth wouldn’t you take it?”
Merlin gave him a pointed look. Arthur grabbed his other arm and shook him gently.
“Not because of me, Merlin. I’m an idiot. You’re brilliant.”
“Would’ve been nice to hear that a few months ago.”
Arthur leaned forward slowly, resting his forehead against Merlin’s. “I know. But I came all the way here to find you. Doesn’t that at least make up for it a little?”
“No,” Merlin said, allowing the contact because it felt too damn good to push Arthur away. “You’re going to be grovelling for a long, long time.”
“I can grovel.”
At that Merlin did put a hand on Arthur’s chest and push him away. “I mean it, Arthur. You're going to call me a gigantic girl, but that really hurt. I’m not going to just forgive you.”
“I thought we agreed that it wasn’t just me,” Arthur said, still holding onto Merlin. “I wouldn’t mind some grovelling from you, you know. For not trusting me.”
“Yeah, all right,” Merlin said, and before he could do anything else, Arthur pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist.
Not expecting it, Merlin flailed a bit, unsure what to do with himself. Arthur didn’t loosen his grip, though, and eventually Merlin relaxed into it, letting himself enjoy the oh-so-wonderfully familiar feeling of Arthur pressed closed against him. His magic kicked into a satisfied hum in his chest. He couldn’t help but chuckle.
“What?” Arthur asked, pulling back to look at him.
“My magic,” Merlin said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “For some reason, it appears to like you.”
“Really?” Arthur asked, looking pleased.
“Yeah, I can’t imagine why.”
“Haha,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes. He opened his mouth to continue, paused, and then said, “You’ll tell me about it now, right? I want to know.”
“Yeah,” Merlin said, swallowing against the ache in his throat, “I will.”
He hugged Arthur this time, looping his arms around Arthur’s neck. He didn’t know how much he was ready for, but this, this was all right.
They were interrupted shortly thereafter by the sound of someone clearing their throat. They both turned to see Hunith in the doorway. She gave Arthur an appraising look before looking at her son.
“Is Arthur staying for dinner, then?”
Merlin looked at Arthur, who looked so ridiculously hopeful, and sighed.
“Yeah, I suppose that he is.”
Later that night, when they were lying side by side in Merlin’s bed, Merlin turned his head to look at Arthur.
“How did you know where I was today? I mean, I assume you came to the bakery because you knew I was there.”
Arthur shifted onto his side so he was facing Merlin. It might’ve been a trick of the light, but Merlin thought he looked a bit sheepish. “Your mum.”
“My mum?”
“I came here first,” Arthur said, his fingers coming up to toy with the hem of Merlin’s t-shirt. “I asked her where you were, and she told me she didn’t know, but that she could find out. She disappeared for a bit and then came back and said you’d be at the bakery shortly.”
Merlin sat upright so fast he felt a bit dizzy. “You conspired with my mum? Oh, that traitor,” he said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and making to stand up. Arthur laughed, grabbing him by the back of the shirt.
“It’s nearly midnight,” he said, sounding far too reasonable for Merlin’s liking. “She’s probably asleep.”
“But she’s supposed to be on my side,” Merlin whined. Arthur smiled at him, fond, before tugging him back down until he was tucked into Arthur’s side, his head resting on Arthur’s chest.
“Don’t blame her. No one can resist me.”
“You are a conceited arse.”
“Yeah, but you love me.”
In spite of himself, Merlin smiled. He wasn’t ready to admit it yet, but the stupid prat was right.
15 November 2011
“Come on, do it harder.”
Merlin shifted above Percy, trying to get a better angle before pressing down again with all his weight.
“There?”
“A little higher.”
“How about there?”
Percy let out a loud moan. “Yeah, right there. Fuck, that feels good.”
“Do I need to be concerned about what’s going on in here?”
Both Merlin and Percy looked over at the door, where Arthur was standing holding one of Merlin’s boxes. When Merlin had officially accepted Uther’s offer and started working with the club again, they’d tried taking things slowly. It had lasted all of a week--three months later, Arthur asked Merlin to move in with him.
“Yeah, sod off,” he said, trying not to grin. “Can’t you see I’m trying to get some on the side?”
Arthur rolled his eyes, walking toward the sofa where Merlin was kneeling behind Percival, working a kink out of his shoulder. He dropped the box on the floor and plopped down next to them.
“What happened?”
“Percy was moving the sofa and tweaked his shoulder.”
Arthur laughed. “Going soft, eh Perce?”
“What your boyfriend neglected to tell you,” Percy said, grunting as Merlin pressed down again, “is that he was on the sofa when I was moving it.”
Arthur arched an eyebrow at him. “You had him pushing you around the room on the sofa?”
“How else would I know the best spot for it? Getting up and down is tiring work, you know.”
Merlin found the spot where the muscle had strained and dug his thumb in, using his magic to slowly ease the pain and repair the tissue. Arthur, completely aware of what he was doing, watched him, a fond expression on his face. Merlin couldn’t help but marvel at how much Arthur’s attitude toward his magic had changed in a few short months.
He must’ve had a soppy look on his face, because Arthur smirked at him before responding.
“Speaking of tiring work, Gwaine is refusing to carry any more boxes of books. How many did you pack?”
“A few,” Merlin said dismissively, patting Percy on the shoulder. “All done. Is that better?”
Percy rotated his arm a few times, smiling brightly. “Brilliant as always. Those hands of yours, I tell you. Where have you been all my life?”
“Don’t you worry about that,” Arthur cut in, nudging Percy with his foot even as he pulled Merlin closer. “Elyan and I brought up the new bed, but we were having trouble putting it together. Go help him.”
“Yeah, and make sure it’s good and sturdy,” Merlin called after him, laughing as Percy clapped his hands over his ears. His laugh quickly turned into a yawn--they’d been up early to move his things into Arthur’s flat and that had been many hours ago.
“What are you yawning about?” Arthur asked. “You’ve not lifted a single box today, you lazy arse.”
“Look at these arms,” Merlin said, holding them out for inspection. “Do they look like they’d be any help with heavy lifting?”
Arthur eyed them critically. “You’ve got a point, there.”
“Besides, my true talents lie elsewhere.”
“Mmm,” Arthur said, leaning closer. “That they do.”
Merlin grinned, tilting his head to accept the kiss. They were just starting to get into it when they heard a laugh from the doorway.
“Found them,” Elena called back over her shoulder. “They’re snogging on the sofa.”
Gwaine appeared behind her, his long hair pulled back in a messy tail. “Really? You’re going to sit there and snog while we’re doing all the work?”
Elena reached up to tuck a wayward piece of hair behind his ear, a besotted expression on her face. Gwaine took a moment to smile at her before narrowing his gaze on Merlin.
“Come on, up off your arse, Emrys.”
“That’s Dr. Emrys to you,” Merlin said, reluctantly pulling away from Arthur and getting to his feet.
“Shall we have a conversation about titles?” Gwaine asked, pulling Merlin into a headlock as soon as he was within arm’s reach. “Should I remind you of your place, peasant?”
Merlin laughed, trying to extricate himself. He finally succeeded, but only because Arthur came to his aid. He jumped onto Gwaine’s back, forcing him to let go of Merlin so he could defend himself. They wound up on the floor, and from there it was only a matter of time before Percival and Elyan found them.
Deciding that retreat was his wisest option until they got it out of their systems, Merlin escaped to Arthur’s kitchen. He perused Arthur’s takeaway menus, and had just settled on Thai when a very warm and slightly sweaty body draped itself against his back.
“Ew,” he said when Arthur rubbed his damp face on Merlin’s shoulder. “You’re such a pig.”
“Are we ordering food?” Arthur asked, ignoring him. “I’m famished.”
Merlin, however, was distracted by his magic. While it worked on everyone, it’d become especially attuned to Arthur and often sensed things he tried to hide from Merlin.
“Did you hurt yourself?” Merlin asked, shaking Arthur off and turning around to examine him. Arthur rolled his eyes and fended him off before slipping his hands up under the hem of Merlin’s shirt.
“It’s just a scrape. I’m fine.”
“Oh,” Merlin said, letting Arthur distract him. “I’ll take care of it later.”
“What would I do without you?”
“Let’s not find out, hmm?”
“Don't worry,” Arthur said, pulling him close. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
The End =)
Hope you enjoyed it!