44
Oh wow. I am really fucking euphoric.
I love Elizabeth Rinaldi. I love how she went to the library to take out all the books I recommended. I love her, I love her. I love seeing her walk by in her little black coat. I love how she posted that thing about Anabelle Theard in the community forum. I love how she emails me to recommend me a good book. And emails me to talk about the books that I recommended. How she doesn’t see the big deal of Camus. (Camus was a scorpio, did you know that?) She is so wonderful and lovely.
Maximillian instant messaged me and somehow I saw something clearly and my heart broke and I felt like an idiot for talking to zaida like I never knew him. I understood for a moment that he is a person, he’s breathing and his heart is beating. I thought that I had understood that before but I hadn’t. I had to tell him that I’m so sorry for being cold, that I want him to be part of my life. That I don’t want him to lose respect for me.
He is an asshole and he hurts my friends but assholes are made out of flesh with blood that’s warm. :]
I got my grades in the mail. I am so proud of myself. I love reading what my teachers have to say. They all said that they admire me, that I surprise them every day. THIS is what I want to hear. That I surprise people. They say that I do not accept a superficial understanding of things, that I have to figure out how things work. Yes yes yes! This is all so good to hear. I probably sound like a poorly written book but I am euphoric and I can’t type fast enough. Here are my grades, I made the high honor roll. Oh.
Honors Algebra II: 92. Final Exam: 88.
Honors World Lit: 93. Final Exam: 95!!
French III: 90. Final Exam: 92. Highest in the class!
Honors 20th Century History: 94. Final Exam: 93.
Honors Chemistry: 88!! Final Exam: 86!!! I thought I got like a 70. I was scared it would be in the 60s!!!
Oboe: 90. He loves me, I love him, what else is new? :]
I am so happy because I feel like I’m doing something right. I feel like I am worth while.
Also, this morning, I woke up at 10 with that sleepy feeling that is so wonderful and I took a shower and I was so content this morning. And then I took some smutty pictures of myself with no makeup on because I wanted to see my body. I thought maybe you’d want to see my body too. So here’s a picture. I’m not wearing makeup, don’t hate on my face.
sweet i edited these out so weirdos couldn't see them! im great, thanks.
Right.
And then I just kept taking pictures. This is what I look like nowadays. I finally found my usb cord (it was in my mother’s laptop bag???) so yeah pictures ha!
And this is the only picture that I think really sums up how I’m feeling. I took this when I first woke up. No makeup/slept in makeup. Washing your face is for sillies that don’t love enough.
Oh shut up if I annoy you. I have a heart and I am finally figuring this out and it's amazing.
I love Elizabeth Rinaldi. I love how she went to the library to take out all the books I recommended. I love her, I love her. I love seeing her walk by in her little black coat. I love how she posted that thing about Anabelle Theard in the community forum. I love how she emails me to recommend me a good book. And emails me to talk about the books that I recommended. How she doesn’t see the big deal of Camus. (Camus was a scorpio, did you know that?) She is so wonderful and lovely.
Maximillian instant messaged me and somehow I saw something clearly and my heart broke and I felt like an idiot for talking to zaida like I never knew him. I understood for a moment that he is a person, he’s breathing and his heart is beating. I thought that I had understood that before but I hadn’t. I had to tell him that I’m so sorry for being cold, that I want him to be part of my life. That I don’t want him to lose respect for me.
He is an asshole and he hurts my friends but assholes are made out of flesh with blood that’s warm. :]
I got my grades in the mail. I am so proud of myself. I love reading what my teachers have to say. They all said that they admire me, that I surprise them every day. THIS is what I want to hear. That I surprise people. They say that I do not accept a superficial understanding of things, that I have to figure out how things work. Yes yes yes! This is all so good to hear. I probably sound like a poorly written book but I am euphoric and I can’t type fast enough. Here are my grades, I made the high honor roll. Oh.
Honors Algebra II: 92. Final Exam: 88.
Honors World Lit: 93. Final Exam: 95!!
French III: 90. Final Exam: 92. Highest in the class!
Honors 20th Century History: 94. Final Exam: 93.
Honors Chemistry: 88!! Final Exam: 86!!! I thought I got like a 70. I was scared it would be in the 60s!!!
Oboe: 90. He loves me, I love him, what else is new? :]
I am so happy because I feel like I’m doing something right. I feel like I am worth while.
Also, this morning, I woke up at 10 with that sleepy feeling that is so wonderful and I took a shower and I was so content this morning. And then I took some smutty pictures of myself with no makeup on because I wanted to see my body. I thought maybe you’d want to see my body too. So here’s a picture. I’m not wearing makeup, don’t hate on my face.
sweet i edited these out so weirdos couldn't see them! im great, thanks.
Right.
And then I just kept taking pictures. This is what I look like nowadays. I finally found my usb cord (it was in my mother’s laptop bag???) so yeah pictures ha!
And this is the only picture that I think really sums up how I’m feeling. I took this when I first woke up. No makeup/slept in makeup. Washing your face is for sillies that don’t love enough.
Oh shut up if I annoy you. I have a heart and I am finally figuring this out and it's amazing.