(no subject)
COMMENTS OVERHEARD AT A BRAINSTORMING MEETING BETWEEN TED NUGENT AND THE EDITORS OF GOURMET MAGAZINE WHERE THEY WERE DISCUSSING THE UPCOMING BOOK GOURMET MAGAZINE'S VEGAN COOKING WITH TED NUGENT.
BY AARON STARMER
- - - -
What exactly do you mean by "not likely to own a spit"?
Quail's good, right? I mean quail can't really be considered meat.
Fair enough, sweetheart, but I also don't remember where in the Constitution it says I have to play nice with delusional hippies.
Then what the hell do they hang on their walls?
I might give half a damn what Moby serves if I had half a clue who the sonuvabitch was.
That's where you're wrong, chief. Plenty of people eat badger. I had badger for breakfast, actually.
Replace sweetbreads with chickpeas? How 'bout I replace your face with my fist?
Really? Mashed potatoes? I'm on board with that. Hot damn! We got one! Mark it down, boys! Mashed fu- Without what? Without bu- You're shittin' me, right? Un-fuckin'-believable.
Yes, Nugent's Nougat does sound very cute, Tinkerbell. But, as I've tried to make crystal-clear, I'm not a friggin' nancypants.
Wang Dang Sweet ... Potato Pie ... Pea Soup ... you know, something like that. We gotta work it in somewhere.
Tofurkey? Tofuckyou.
No way. I don't budge on this one. The muskrat tartar stays. The pansies will just have to deal.
What's it matter? I'm gonna be killin' it anyway
BY AARON STARMER
- - - -
What exactly do you mean by "not likely to own a spit"?
Quail's good, right? I mean quail can't really be considered meat.
Fair enough, sweetheart, but I also don't remember where in the Constitution it says I have to play nice with delusional hippies.
Then what the hell do they hang on their walls?
I might give half a damn what Moby serves if I had half a clue who the sonuvabitch was.
That's where you're wrong, chief. Plenty of people eat badger. I had badger for breakfast, actually.
Replace sweetbreads with chickpeas? How 'bout I replace your face with my fist?
Really? Mashed potatoes? I'm on board with that. Hot damn! We got one! Mark it down, boys! Mashed fu- Without what? Without bu- You're shittin' me, right? Un-fuckin'-believable.
Yes, Nugent's Nougat does sound very cute, Tinkerbell. But, as I've tried to make crystal-clear, I'm not a friggin' nancypants.
Wang Dang Sweet ... Potato Pie ... Pea Soup ... you know, something like that. We gotta work it in somewhere.
Tofurkey? Tofuckyou.
No way. I don't budge on this one. The muskrat tartar stays. The pansies will just have to deal.
What's it matter? I'm gonna be killin' it anyway