hi
i am so confused. jamie is talking about getting me a ring for christmas and i thought that is what i wanted but now i am not sure. i have always had thoughts about other ppl but i just brushed them aside cause i figured they are normal but i have really been thinking about dating other ppl for a while now and i dont think i should be thinking that way if i really want to be with jamie. and when i think about marriage i get really scared and i like freak out. i was the same way when i got asked by others.... anyway.... i dont know. i feel like there are so many other opportunities out there and i feel i would be missing out if i married jamie. i feel like i would really regret it. so i dont know what to do now. i dont know if i should end it. i dont want to lead him on to think everything is fine and then end up telling him no when he asks me and all. he said he needs to know how i feel and i dont want to hurt him but he says that he needs to know so we can talk about it. he said if i dont feel the same as he does then he doesnt want us to go any further. so i dont know. i am soooooo confused. on the better note, lilly is fine. she is sleeping right now. she is sooo cute!!! i love her so much. she will be 2 weeks on thanksgiving. well i gotta go so i can check on her and think about what i am going to tell jamie, he should call back in a few. later.-ash