Soo tonight
So basically...
My boyfriend and I aren't talking, I pretty much epic failed on that today cause I always think I have the solution- when really I just need to listen to what he is saying...so no more talking until friday.
So right now. there are people over. pretty good night, kinda drunk. nate, alex and noelle are here. i was kind of sad earlier but it got better- cant spend the whole week being upset you know?? i fucked up today- talked to jasen cause i thought i could fix it but i see now that i just need to show him i can do what he asks..and then if/when we get back together i just need to appreciate what he does- rides, coming over, food, and whatefer else. i realize now that those were all him trying to show me he loves me and does care...he just doesnt have time for other shit..
right now. my sister is crying, alex is pissed and nate is puking- im ok. surprisingly lol. out of all this- they were all supposed to come to cheer me up but a bunch of shit went down- noelles ex showed up and i once again manged to keep a very bad situation from occurring..
now if only i could learn to handle my own relationship!! I'm pretty happy right now, mainly cause im drunk..i only had like 5 shots so im like tipsy at best..BUT STILL, im happy because im pretty sure me and jasen will be ok. and i think things will get way better.
today he sent a mean text to me about how i was acting. not mean- blunt. and i needed that cause now it is way easier for me to not text him- still hard but easier. its hard to sleeep alone in a bed we slept in together almost every night...and i hope he is back in it friday night. but im just telling myself he will be- the doubt is still there...but i have to just push through and stay positive.
Ugh drama. Seeing all of their drama and listening to it makes my stomach hurt, and it also makes me realize how good me and j-bone have it. lol. yeah so his family doesnt particularly like me..we just need to go talk to them sometime soon preferably with eddie present lol. he rocks. and yeah we have other problems but im pretty much convinced i caused it all..
all i ask from his is that he becomes more upfront with me when it comes too telling me im making him frustrated or mad you know? Yes I think I know what you are saying. AHAHA. And I just hope he still sleep here most nights, cause i love sleeping with him and feeling him kiss my back :D im going to go to bed tonight thinking good thoughts and wake up to have a good day tomorrow.
Jasen you prob wont read this..but i love you miss you, but im ok, doin alright.sleepin alone :((
Basically. Love,
the dork.
My boyfriend and I aren't talking, I pretty much epic failed on that today cause I always think I have the solution- when really I just need to listen to what he is saying...so no more talking until friday.
So right now. there are people over. pretty good night, kinda drunk. nate, alex and noelle are here. i was kind of sad earlier but it got better- cant spend the whole week being upset you know?? i fucked up today- talked to jasen cause i thought i could fix it but i see now that i just need to show him i can do what he asks..and then if/when we get back together i just need to appreciate what he does- rides, coming over, food, and whatefer else. i realize now that those were all him trying to show me he loves me and does care...he just doesnt have time for other shit..
right now. my sister is crying, alex is pissed and nate is puking- im ok. surprisingly lol. out of all this- they were all supposed to come to cheer me up but a bunch of shit went down- noelles ex showed up and i once again manged to keep a very bad situation from occurring..
now if only i could learn to handle my own relationship!! I'm pretty happy right now, mainly cause im drunk..i only had like 5 shots so im like tipsy at best..BUT STILL, im happy because im pretty sure me and jasen will be ok. and i think things will get way better.
today he sent a mean text to me about how i was acting. not mean- blunt. and i needed that cause now it is way easier for me to not text him- still hard but easier. its hard to sleeep alone in a bed we slept in together almost every night...and i hope he is back in it friday night. but im just telling myself he will be- the doubt is still there...but i have to just push through and stay positive.
Ugh drama. Seeing all of their drama and listening to it makes my stomach hurt, and it also makes me realize how good me and j-bone have it. lol. yeah so his family doesnt particularly like me..we just need to go talk to them sometime soon preferably with eddie present lol. he rocks. and yeah we have other problems but im pretty much convinced i caused it all..
all i ask from his is that he becomes more upfront with me when it comes too telling me im making him frustrated or mad you know? Yes I think I know what you are saying. AHAHA. And I just hope he still sleep here most nights, cause i love sleeping with him and feeling him kiss my back :D im going to go to bed tonight thinking good thoughts and wake up to have a good day tomorrow.
Jasen you prob wont read this..but i love you miss you, but im ok, doin alright.sleepin alone :((
Basically. Love,
the dork.