Confused Love [4/??]
Feb 14, 2008
Chinen made a resolve with himself. He was going to confess to Takaki. All these feelings that he had held for the past few months...he was tired of keeping them all bottled up. The only other person who knew about this was Ryutaro. When he asked around, everyone said Takaki was probably in the dressing room, so that's where he headed. Upon arriving, he could hear voices from behind the closed doors, and he pushed them opened.
"Takaki-" he began, but never finished. He was faced with the most gut-wrenching scene he had ever seen. Takaki had Yamada on his lap, arms wrapped around his waist, his lips pressed against the younger boy's mouth. They were both so occupied, they didn't even notice Chinen. He wanted to cover his eyes, but his hand was frozen on the doorknob; he wanted to run away, but his legs were paralyzed. Vaguely, he realized someone had appeared behind him. A pair of hands took his shoulders and gently pulled him away.
He found himself burying his head in someone's arms. That someone patted his head soothingly, tightening his grip around him and murmuring, "It's okay, Chinen-kun. Just let it out." His vision was blurred, and besides, he wasn't even looking at his face, but he recognized the voice.
"R-ryutaro?" There was the sound of running water, then a damp paper towel pressing itself against his face, gently wiping away his tears. When it was removed, Ryutaro was crouched in front of him, staring at him with concerned eyes full of uncertainty.
"I...I...Takaki-kun..." Somehow, Chinen could tell he knew everything. It broke him, and more tears flooded down. He didn't need to say anything. Ryutaro could read him like a book. He knew everything about him. Images flashed through his head of the past few years; how Ryutaro was always there for him, how the younger boy always appeared when he needed someone, how he always gave him advice, despite complaining about not knowing anything. More recent images appeared; Ryutaro acting weird when he was with Takaki. He would ignore him, and give him the cold shoulder, but suddenly open up again without any warning.
"Don't cry, Chinen-kun," Ryutaro whispered, throwing his arms around him again. "The world seems dark and gloomy when you cry."
"I...I'm sorry..." Chinen sobbed. "I never noticed...I never realized..."
"It's no big deal," Ryutaro reassured him, curling a hand around his fingers and giving him a comforting squeeze. "I'll be here for you no matter what..."
"Takaki-kun!" Yamada tugged on the older boy's shirt eagerly. He twiddled his fingers shyly, looking down at the ground. "Edo...t-today's Valentine's Day...s-so...I made you some chocolate!" He held out a small bundle tied with a pretty sky blue ribbon.
"Thanks, Yama-chan." Takaki took the bundle and kissed the younger boy on his forehead just as Chinen came back in with Ryutaro. Chinen's breath hitched in his chest, and he unconsciously began squeezing Ryutaro's hand.
"You don't have to stay here," Ryutaro said quietly, so that Takaki and Yamada couldn't hear. "We can go back out..."
Chinen shook his head furiously. "I...I don't know..." He could feel tears welling up again, and tried blinking them back.
"What's wrong with Chinen?" Yabu came up behind them. "Is he...crying?"
"N-n-n-no, I'm not!" Chinen quickly rubbed his eyes. "I just have something in my eyes, that's all!"
"Are you sure?" Yabu didn't look very satisfied with his answer.
"He's fine," Ryutaro answered instead. "Just tired."
Yabu looked like he was about to say something else when Hikaru appeared from nowhere, glomping him. "Happy Valentine's Day everyone~!"
"More like Single Awareness Day...." muttered Arioka as he slipped past Chinen and Ryutaro to get into the room.
"I agree with him." Inoo came in and dropped off his bag. "Who likes February 14th anyways?"
"It's Valentine's Day, minna~ My favorite day of the year~" Yuuto skipped down the hall, flapping his arms. "Spread the love around~!"
"Oh great...I jinxed it..." Inoo covered his ears with a cheap-not-so-squishy pillow to block out all reminders of the dreaded holiday. "Here comes another idiot..."
"He's not even with anyone...why is he celebrating?" Arioka wondered.
"Hikaru, get off me already." Yabu twisted his skinny frame out of Hikaru's grasp. "If Keito sees you, he's going to get issues. Again."
For the rest of the day, Chinen tried hard not to pay attention to Takaki and Yamada too much, but it was hard, seeing the 7 member bouncing up to Takaki every 5 minutes. Every time the two JUMP members got too close to one another, he would find Ryutaro next to him, turning his attention elsewhere, finding various means to distract him. Ryutaro didn't leave his side that day, not once, and he found himself constantly turning to the younger boy.
"Do you want me to go home with you?" Ryutaro asked at the end of the day. Chinen looked up from packing his bag. When he didn't answer, Ryutaro shrugged uncomfortably and said, "If you don't want to...then..."
"I want to..." Chinen said quietly, lowering his eyes. "But...I don't want to trouble you so much..."
"It's not troubling," Ryutaro reassured him. He picked up some of his things and put them in his bag for him. Chinen mumbled a 'thanks' as he zipped his bag and slung it over his shoulder.
"Will you be okay?" Chinen had a feeling Ryutaro wasn't just talking about him getting home safely. He bit his lips and frowned. "I...think I will..."
"Call me if you need to talk, okay?" Ryutaro requested. Chinen nodded as he continued home.