Torn Bits of Paper
I woke up around 11 today, which isn't too bad since I went to bed after 2am and stared at the ceiling for quite a while before falling asleep. I talked with a few folks today including my mom (on the phone) and mercurialdawn (on google chat). My mom and I discussed my recent roommate issues because it was still bugging me. She suggested that I talk to her about it and say that I'm not ok with how things were left about the whole cleaning thing, since it wasn't really a solution, but her telling me she wasn't happy with how things are in a round about way.
I finally talked to my roommate tonight, and I'm glad I did. She didn't backpedal too much or try to deny that the way she broached the subject last night was annoying. I told her that I much prefer that she just tells me flat out if she wants help with something specific since she obviously more sensitive to the cleanliness of the place. I suggested that we each take a room and clean it once a week. She seemed ok with that.
mercurialdawn and I discussed my unrest in Portland. She asked me if I have a sense of why it makes me unhappy to be here in Portland. I answered:
i feel like i don't have a life here. i feel like i've been trying, and have come up empty. in the friend department, in the job department, etc. i'm alone most of the time, and i value my alone time, but if that's the only choice i have it gets old. it's like, i'm eager, ready and willing to take the next step, and this city is just not providing it for me. and i don't know if it's because of something i'm doing or not doing, or what, but i'm tired of being on the edge all the time and not even having an enjoyable life to experience in the mean time before i find the next step to take.
Re-reading it, I think I summed up my feelings accurately there. Oddly enough, I'm not unhappy today. I'm actually feeling rather chipper. I'm enjoying my life, even if it's not the greatest at the moment.
I went and got an americano at the northwest coffee house. I had to wait for a little while, but it was nothing compared to the line that formed after me! It was nearly to the door by the time I left.
I went over to my friend Ashley's house tonight to scan my torn bits of paper for the poster I'm working on. I am now an expert paper tearer, in case anyone's looking for one of those.
When I was waiting at the bus stop, I snapped a couple of shots of the SW 20th and Burnside intersection which I've documented a few times in different light and weather conditions. A guy came up to me and asked if he could see the photo I took. I was a little surprised, but I showed it to him, and he liked it. He was a little twitchy, and at one point was like, "ok, I'll stop bugging you and go over here again." I was actually enjoying talking to him, so I went over to him and asked him a question and we continued to chat. We got on the same bus, and he sat behind me and we talked about this and that. He confided in me that he was on his way to a blind date. Then he admitted to me that it was more of a blind hookup. He seemed a little nervous about meeting the guy, so I told him that he can always back out if it doesn't feel right. He asked if I might want to grab a beer sometime. I said sure and gave him my number. Perhaps he can be my newest gay friend, conveniently located in my neighborhood.
When I was done with the scanning, I called to check on my bus and it wasn't due for 35 minutes! Instead of waiting around, I decided to walk toward my side of town. I made it to 6th Ave. from 31st Ave before catching the bus. It wasn't too rainy and pretty mild, so it was a nice night for a walk. At about 12th Ave. a crazy lady intersected my path and walked with me for a few blocks. She said she'd just gotten out of jail the night before and that she thought the people in the climbing gym were nuts for paying to climb up walls. She saw a strip club and suddenly decided to cross the street; not at a cross walk either. A guy got on the 20 bus at one point, and seemed confused by seats, hesitating for a good minute before finally figuring out how to sit. It seems like it was a night for weird people to be out and about.
I really need to get to work on dropping in the scanned images, but I don't wanna. I've already worked on this project so much. Sigh. Best get started so I can go to sleep at an indecent hour.
I finally talked to my roommate tonight, and I'm glad I did. She didn't backpedal too much or try to deny that the way she broached the subject last night was annoying. I told her that I much prefer that she just tells me flat out if she wants help with something specific since she obviously more sensitive to the cleanliness of the place. I suggested that we each take a room and clean it once a week. She seemed ok with that.
mercurialdawn and I discussed my unrest in Portland. She asked me if I have a sense of why it makes me unhappy to be here in Portland. I answered:
i feel like i don't have a life here. i feel like i've been trying, and have come up empty. in the friend department, in the job department, etc. i'm alone most of the time, and i value my alone time, but if that's the only choice i have it gets old. it's like, i'm eager, ready and willing to take the next step, and this city is just not providing it for me. and i don't know if it's because of something i'm doing or not doing, or what, but i'm tired of being on the edge all the time and not even having an enjoyable life to experience in the mean time before i find the next step to take.
Re-reading it, I think I summed up my feelings accurately there. Oddly enough, I'm not unhappy today. I'm actually feeling rather chipper. I'm enjoying my life, even if it's not the greatest at the moment.
I went and got an americano at the northwest coffee house. I had to wait for a little while, but it was nothing compared to the line that formed after me! It was nearly to the door by the time I left.
I went over to my friend Ashley's house tonight to scan my torn bits of paper for the poster I'm working on. I am now an expert paper tearer, in case anyone's looking for one of those.
When I was waiting at the bus stop, I snapped a couple of shots of the SW 20th and Burnside intersection which I've documented a few times in different light and weather conditions. A guy came up to me and asked if he could see the photo I took. I was a little surprised, but I showed it to him, and he liked it. He was a little twitchy, and at one point was like, "ok, I'll stop bugging you and go over here again." I was actually enjoying talking to him, so I went over to him and asked him a question and we continued to chat. We got on the same bus, and he sat behind me and we talked about this and that. He confided in me that he was on his way to a blind date. Then he admitted to me that it was more of a blind hookup. He seemed a little nervous about meeting the guy, so I told him that he can always back out if it doesn't feel right. He asked if I might want to grab a beer sometime. I said sure and gave him my number. Perhaps he can be my newest gay friend, conveniently located in my neighborhood.
When I was done with the scanning, I called to check on my bus and it wasn't due for 35 minutes! Instead of waiting around, I decided to walk toward my side of town. I made it to 6th Ave. from 31st Ave before catching the bus. It wasn't too rainy and pretty mild, so it was a nice night for a walk. At about 12th Ave. a crazy lady intersected my path and walked with me for a few blocks. She said she'd just gotten out of jail the night before and that she thought the people in the climbing gym were nuts for paying to climb up walls. She saw a strip club and suddenly decided to cross the street; not at a cross walk either. A guy got on the 20 bus at one point, and seemed confused by seats, hesitating for a good minute before finally figuring out how to sit. It seems like it was a night for weird people to be out and about.
I really need to get to work on dropping in the scanned images, but I don't wanna. I've already worked on this project so much. Sigh. Best get started so I can go to sleep at an indecent hour.