(no subject)
i think im going to somehow write down everything ive ever thought about you in one journal entry. as if its possible. all the anger that most often gets overpowered by love, which only means i spend quite a bit of time rationalizing your cruelty and neglect.
i have one friend who has gotten so close to me that as they are about to leave the state i feel myself loving them, thats how it works with me, you know; if you're far away, or leaving me, i'll most likely love you more because you're unattainable. and all the people in my life ive loved by default have been such kinds of people. and this friend speaks like my alter ego. what the fuck is wrong with her? she would say. if someone wrote to me that way id have to be a complete jackass to ignore that person. and she's close, so she feels more credible. but it does not change the fact that you are always up for interpretation... or at least, the lack of you.
the truth is i think you are a coward.
and whats more honest is i dont give a fuck about what anything thinks of that.
outside from my mother, who was the person who used to meet my eyes as i received a beating head to toe, you are the most distanced person ive ever met. and you've hurt me, me who is invincible.
so. good luck with whatever. actually, i take that back.
i have one friend who has gotten so close to me that as they are about to leave the state i feel myself loving them, thats how it works with me, you know; if you're far away, or leaving me, i'll most likely love you more because you're unattainable. and all the people in my life ive loved by default have been such kinds of people. and this friend speaks like my alter ego. what the fuck is wrong with her? she would say. if someone wrote to me that way id have to be a complete jackass to ignore that person. and she's close, so she feels more credible. but it does not change the fact that you are always up for interpretation... or at least, the lack of you.
the truth is i think you are a coward.
and whats more honest is i dont give a fuck about what anything thinks of that.
outside from my mother, who was the person who used to meet my eyes as i received a beating head to toe, you are the most distanced person ive ever met. and you've hurt me, me who is invincible.
so. good luck with whatever. actually, i take that back.