(no subject)

[anightingale]

so many things happen around me at once. so many sounds. so much noise. i pretend i can shut it out, think clearly this way, but i cant. but there are moments when i hear the nothing that's always there. and when i hear it i feel warm. the kind of warm you can only feel in winter when you're forced to try. and it makes you wish things. if its cold and dark outside the windows nostalgia takes me. im in flannel and im lonely. but this feels like more than that. i feel like happiness is an act i dont have the energy for.

i cant even write...