this is fucked up and i cant do it anymore
this is ridiculous.
i do not want to be this person you can call up when your other options fail you. i dont want to be someone you fall back on. someone you keep in your back pocket. what it comes down to is when i touched your face, you cried because of her. when you called me late at night, it was because your relationship with her was going terribly. i was always your fall back. and for a moment we were together and you felt compelled to sleep with me. and it was fine for the moment and then you went back to your world. and back to that place. and the moment you left you couldn't find it in you to keep a promise.
because none of them were promises you really wanted to keep. otherwise, you would have.
and that list you wrote... doesn't have me on it.
thats the bottom line.
you dont want me, need me, love me enough to even put me on your fucking top ten.
but you wont tell me its over.
you wont give me closure.
because you still want me there, to call on when all else fails. when you've exhausted everything else. you'll call me up, apologetic, and expect me there to listen. you dont even have to question that i'd answer. that's where you like me. not next to you. not sharing your life. no. somewhere convenient for you. and you dont even have the decency to communicate.
so what does that make me?
to continue loving you?
i make excuses everyday for your actions. trying to validate why you're so horrible.
why? ... love doesn't require me to.
you dont want to tell me the truth, but i know.
you shut me out like im nobody.
but im not.
im somebody.
and i can be somebody to someone else who actually fucking gives a damn.
someone who really wants to hold my hand.
i do not want to be this person you can call up when your other options fail you. i dont want to be someone you fall back on. someone you keep in your back pocket. what it comes down to is when i touched your face, you cried because of her. when you called me late at night, it was because your relationship with her was going terribly. i was always your fall back. and for a moment we were together and you felt compelled to sleep with me. and it was fine for the moment and then you went back to your world. and back to that place. and the moment you left you couldn't find it in you to keep a promise.
because none of them were promises you really wanted to keep. otherwise, you would have.
and that list you wrote... doesn't have me on it.
thats the bottom line.
you dont want me, need me, love me enough to even put me on your fucking top ten.
but you wont tell me its over.
you wont give me closure.
because you still want me there, to call on when all else fails. when you've exhausted everything else. you'll call me up, apologetic, and expect me there to listen. you dont even have to question that i'd answer. that's where you like me. not next to you. not sharing your life. no. somewhere convenient for you. and you dont even have the decency to communicate.
so what does that make me?
to continue loving you?
i make excuses everyday for your actions. trying to validate why you're so horrible.
why? ... love doesn't require me to.
you dont want to tell me the truth, but i know.
you shut me out like im nobody.
but im not.
im somebody.
and i can be somebody to someone else who actually fucking gives a damn.
someone who really wants to hold my hand.