earlyyyy
I've been in a really weird mental place lately. I'm working through a lot of things it might have been beneficial to work through before. Like long before. But here I am, and better late than never, I suppose. It's strange.
I've fallen into the pattern of unemployment such that I don't even know how I'd fit a job into my life! I seem so busy anyways, even without working. I walk a lot in our neighborhood, which is lovely, and I organize my stuff a lot, and I cook and clean and spend copious amounts of time talking to friends from home. I cleaned my room today because it was getting disorganized and I feel much better. I did alllll my laundry on Easter, so all my clothes are clean, which is nice.
I made an L-Word style chart of my life, which is really funny. If I remembered everything I've heard, it would be much better, but I like it. It's actually pretty. Speaking of the L Word, I'm totally obsessed. I'm almost done with the fifth season, and I love it. So much. I always feel inspired by it, although I'm never sure what the inspiration is trying to get me to do. Shane is obviously gorgeous, but I think that Tasha is really attractive too. I can't wait to see what happens.
I'm so in love with Adam Lambert on American Idol. He is gorgeous and funny and perfect. He has to win or I'm boycotting the show for the rest of my life. He is also gay, or at least bi, so that would be amazing if he won for the LGBT community. :)
I wrote a couple of poems tonight. I used to write poems in high school but I was never good or anything. There's something...I just don't make the leap from what I'm thinking to good poetry. I wish I could, but it just doesn't work that way. Sometimes I still try, but it makes me feel pretentious when I do. I wrote a couple a few weeks ago and was like, oh gosh, don't do this any more. You're not a good poet! But then tonight I felt like I should, so I did. I have such a deep-seated insecurity about my poems. I don't know if I could ever show anyone. I mean, I think I could, but I would expect them to laugh or something. I don't know. I feel inspired because of someone I know, but I wish I had the same talent.
I hate not knowing sometimes. I mean, I'm the queen of telling people that it's good to not know the future because it would take all the surprise out of life and what would it be worth. I know. But every so often I'd like to have an answer to something. I'm scared about something I'm going to do, but I need to be still and not worry. It's hard, though. I hate making myself vulnerable. So much.
I want to say more but it doesn't make any sense at all, so I'll stop here.
I've fallen into the pattern of unemployment such that I don't even know how I'd fit a job into my life! I seem so busy anyways, even without working. I walk a lot in our neighborhood, which is lovely, and I organize my stuff a lot, and I cook and clean and spend copious amounts of time talking to friends from home. I cleaned my room today because it was getting disorganized and I feel much better. I did alllll my laundry on Easter, so all my clothes are clean, which is nice.
I made an L-Word style chart of my life, which is really funny. If I remembered everything I've heard, it would be much better, but I like it. It's actually pretty. Speaking of the L Word, I'm totally obsessed. I'm almost done with the fifth season, and I love it. So much. I always feel inspired by it, although I'm never sure what the inspiration is trying to get me to do. Shane is obviously gorgeous, but I think that Tasha is really attractive too. I can't wait to see what happens.
I'm so in love with Adam Lambert on American Idol. He is gorgeous and funny and perfect. He has to win or I'm boycotting the show for the rest of my life. He is also gay, or at least bi, so that would be amazing if he won for the LGBT community. :)
I wrote a couple of poems tonight. I used to write poems in high school but I was never good or anything. There's something...I just don't make the leap from what I'm thinking to good poetry. I wish I could, but it just doesn't work that way. Sometimes I still try, but it makes me feel pretentious when I do. I wrote a couple a few weeks ago and was like, oh gosh, don't do this any more. You're not a good poet! But then tonight I felt like I should, so I did. I have such a deep-seated insecurity about my poems. I don't know if I could ever show anyone. I mean, I think I could, but I would expect them to laugh or something. I don't know. I feel inspired because of someone I know, but I wish I had the same talent.
I hate not knowing sometimes. I mean, I'm the queen of telling people that it's good to not know the future because it would take all the surprise out of life and what would it be worth. I know. But every so often I'd like to have an answer to something. I'm scared about something I'm going to do, but I need to be still and not worry. It's hard, though. I hate making myself vulnerable. So much.
I want to say more but it doesn't make any sense at all, so I'll stop here.