A Kiss Good-Bye.
So I’ve grown to love my time here, as I always do. My home away from home. Meeting new people and being reacquainted with ones I’ve met before and every day, learning something new or re-teaching myself things that had escaped me. And every day, waking up beside Graham and realizing that I could be happy someplace other than home. His family enfolding me, “his” friends becoming ever more “our” friends. It’s hard to imagine that I go home in less than a week. I’ll be honest; I’ve missed “home.” Not Savannah, and not school, but my mom and 3 of my friends. I miss the comfort of my own house, and I guess the idea of what it’s like to be there. And that lingering bit of dad and memory of the years before I ever met Graham and before I ever met those 3 friends I miss so much. And I miss my ridiculously comfortable mattress. lol But every morning I woke up next to Graham, I knew that one of these days, I’d quickly give it up for the chance to be with him.
My one regret for this trip was the fact that I didn’t spend nearly as much time with Ashley as I had on my last visit. But in return, I had so much time with Graham. And I guess because of that, I can’t complain. Lol I also got to know Ashley’s little brother Connor. And I’m so glad I did. He’s really quite something. We spent the day together taking photos and I taught him to use my 35mm manual Camera, and the whole experience was wonderful. He found that clicking noise of the actual shutter opening and closing oddly exhilarating. A noise I know well and gets me every time. lol I was thrilled also because I finally got to go to one of his gigs, after promising for the last year to be at one when I visited. After the first failed attempt to get to one in Weymouth and the one I missed while Graham and I were away in Gloucestershire photographing those William Jay Buildings, I finally made it to one. And I wasn’t disappointed, and took a ridiculous amount of photos. Lol
Over the course of this trip, I began truly weighing what I had grown to love. London, which had been my first English love and my most passionate love affair to date… frequently lost out to staying in bed with Graham. Lol I never thought it would happen, but it did. And well, he has the ability to make me extremely happy and he only loves me. And I find that astounding, still astonished by the mechanics and possibilities of “love.” And how it is that some one could love ME. And just me. Not like that love of the parents thing, where they can love you AND your siblings. Or your friends loving you. That someone could love me in a certain way, is just amazing.
After I return home at the end of the week, it will be 5 months at least, if not more, before I see Graham again. And like it was before, it will probably be a difficult time for me. But I can proudly say I have 2 job interviews lined up for the week after I get home and two classes and a THESIS so I can graduate in May, so perhaps I will be far more occupied and he and I can both function normally. So I prepare to kiss England goodbye, and though I miss home, I'll be sad to go. To everyone I met and revisited on this trip:
Kev and Natalie: I hope their new home turns out wonderfully.
Dave and Di: I adore them both and they make me feel at home
Ashley, I adore you as much as I ever did.
Connor, We have to keep this up, because I look forward to next summer and you better be in the cards.
Diana, we’ll meet again, and that’s a promise.
And to my Graham, I love you more than London and you know that's a lot. lol