07. Sucks to Be Ewe [Video]
[The feed opens up, centered on a card that looks like it was written with Bubbles’ crayons.]
The Adstring City Players Proudly Present:
Sucks to be Ewe
The True and Riveting Tale of One Man’s Fight Against the Forces of Not-Really-Evil-Anymore
By: Aang and Sokka
Starring:
Aang as Aankka the Hero
Sokka as Spikka the Not-Evil-Now
And Introducing:
ZUZU as “The Pig”
(some facts have been changed to protect the innocent)
Act I
[The curtain rises on this production mid-evening. The stage is bare, save for some salvaged scraps of broken furniture. Some poorly constructed walls are dirt-covered, and over the center of a stage hangs a sign reading “Secret Lair.”]
[Enter one ‘Aankka’: Aang, dressed as Sokka, complete with a badly made ‘wig’, made of scraps of dark material to look like Sokka’s ‘wolf tail’. He creeps across the stage, taking overly dramatic steps. He looks back at the ‘audience’.]
I see the Not-Evil-Now Spikka! I’ll kick-a-pow him into next week for attacking my friends! [This comes complete with some really hammed up over-acting.]
I am being bloody moody because I am a vampire and I am really bloody pale and blond. Hmph! [Cue Sokka, dressed as the Not-Evil-Now Spikka, perched on a chair, pouting and looking as moody as he proclaims. He wipes at his face with a sleeve, barely keeping himself from toppling the white(ish) wig made of Appa fur.]
And bloody. I need to learn to use a napkin!
[Aang jumps out at Sokka and brandishes his boomerang.] Spikka! I’ve found you and your secret lair! Whoopa! [And he’s brandishing the boomerang in some bad kung fu-like moves.] You’ll pay for your bad, moody evilness!
Pay? But I don’t have a job! Besides, I was... [He extends a dramatic arm into the air to accent his thought.] HYPNOTIZED!
Well, well-! You can’t go around hurting my friends just because you’re.... [And he pauses dramatically before parodying Sokka’s tone.] HYPNOTIZED. Besides, you’re just sulking in the dark instead of doing something about it!
[Sokka puts on a pathetic face.] It wasn’t personal, and therefore it wasn’t my fault! Right? I was a bloody victim, too!
[Aang takes on a heroic pose.] You weren’t a victim at all! [Aang rushes at him, and before the Big Fight Scene can happen, another set of cards pops up on the screen. BAM! POW! Ker-SMASH!]
[The cards fall away to reveal a disheveled looking Sokka and a triumphant Aang.]
Yeah, I really Sokka’d it to him! [Aang gives the PCD a big, theatrical wink.]
[The curtain falls.]
Act II
[When again the curtain rises, a new scene is set. More rubble is added and the walls are now splattered with dripping gray mud, as if to signify stars against a dark sky. A paper moon hangs in the corner. Zuko’s sheep, Zuzu, is standing on the stage. A pair of poorly made wings have been stuck into its fur.]
[Aang, still dressed as Aankka, comes onto the stage.] Ha! A present for my friend! I’ll take you home with me for her birthday! [He ‘throws’ the boomerang, which floats along as Aang airbends it over to the sheep and drops it on him.]
[Sokka, still playing Spikka, sneaks on stage, an evil and over-expressive grin on his face. He addresses the “audience” in a stage whisper.] It is my nemesis, the great and powerful Aankka! I will ruin his gift with my bloody super-speed and dour attitude toward partying. WOOSH!
[With the aid of their Special Effects Department, Sokka is carried by Bubbles to steal the sheep at “super-speed.”]
[Aang goes closer so that he can ‘see’ the sheep in the ‘darkness’ and sees Sokka there.] Hey! That’s my sheep! [He makes a overly dramatic pose, the back of one hand to his forehead.] That was for my friend! For her birthday! How can you be so cruel?
Cruel is my middle name! Spikka the Bloody Cruel Vampire! Now I will take away your gift and your friend will hate you forever. MWAHAHAHA!
[At this point, Sokka tries to flee with said gift, but he must pass Aang along the way.]
[Aang holds his ground, holding out one hand in the customary ‘stop’ position.] No, Spikka! Even if she would hate me forever, I won’t let you ruin this for her! [He holds up a fist dramatically.] The PARTY is counting on this!
A party doesn’t COUNT unless I’m invited! Prepare for battle, scrawny human-thing!
[Sokka strikes a pose, bringing his hands up to cover his face, and when he pulls them away, he’s wearing a angry, deformed mask.] VAMPIRE POWERS, GO!
[Aang does his best to not snicker at that.] SWORD AN BOOMERANG POWERS, GO!
[He rushes at Sokka to have their Great Fight Scene. This scares the sheep, who bolts, running into the pair and knocking them both over.]
[Aang looks at the PCD and then at Sokka before muttering.] What do we do now?
[Sokka scratches under his wig and shrugs at Aang.] Improvise, I guess? [And he jumps to his feet and strikes a pose] If I cannot have the pig, then you can’t either! Neener-neener-neener!
[Aang comes to center stage and falls to his knees, his hands up to the sky.] Nooooo! I’ll never find her a gift in time now! You’ve... ruined it all, you Bloody Cruel Vampire!
[Aang covers his face with his hands, drama-crying for the PCD as the curtain falls.]
[A card pops up that says The End.]
OOC:
THE CREDITS
AANG as Aankka the Hero
SOKKA as Spikka the Not-Evil-Now-Guy
Special effects and sound provided by Bubbles' Magical Effects Studio, LLC
[[This is a joint post for Aang and Sokka! Insert muse in comments, receive one or both in reply!]]