Sometimes I Wish I Could Wish
I gotta remind myself that what people think can be more temporal to them than long-term.
Probably a weakness of mine, to easily believe that I am really of use to people. I mean, I know I have best friends who really notice me, people like Steph and Amy. I'm always overwhelmed by how many people still remember me, to even bother wishing me happy birthday, ask me to keep in touch with them while I'm gone. It just shows how lack of confidence I have in regards to socializing - like I always wonder if they're just caring for the sake of caring or if they really do care about me. Probably because I've always been told things that turn out to be just temporal and useless after a time, that they eventually become empty words to me. The things that kept me going, just disappear like that. Like in the end I'm just another scenery you enjoy until you pass it by.
Sometimes I wonder if I hang on to things too much. I should learn that not everything can go on forever. I mean, it's already been several times it has happened to me in the past, you'd think I should've gotten over it by now.
Yet I always wish that some things can go on forever, just because they once made me the happiest person I could ever be.
So...I don't know.
I just read a quote today:
Some cry not because they are weak...they cry because they have been strong for too long.
How true that is. That me who used to care less about what people want from me, it's already gone. I just gotta accept that somehow and...move on, I guess.
Let's just see how long I can last with just scotch tapes on my broken pieces.
Probably a weakness of mine, to easily believe that I am really of use to people. I mean, I know I have best friends who really notice me, people like Steph and Amy. I'm always overwhelmed by how many people still remember me, to even bother wishing me happy birthday, ask me to keep in touch with them while I'm gone. It just shows how lack of confidence I have in regards to socializing - like I always wonder if they're just caring for the sake of caring or if they really do care about me. Probably because I've always been told things that turn out to be just temporal and useless after a time, that they eventually become empty words to me. The things that kept me going, just disappear like that. Like in the end I'm just another scenery you enjoy until you pass it by.
Sometimes I wonder if I hang on to things too much. I should learn that not everything can go on forever. I mean, it's already been several times it has happened to me in the past, you'd think I should've gotten over it by now.
Yet I always wish that some things can go on forever, just because they once made me the happiest person I could ever be.
So...I don't know.
I just read a quote today:
Some cry not because they are weak...they cry because they have been strong for too long.
How true that is. That me who used to care less about what people want from me, it's already gone. I just gotta accept that somehow and...move on, I guess.
Let's just see how long I can last with just scotch tapes on my broken pieces.