Where Did It All Go
Can someone give me a confidence boost?
Because whenever I think of "work", I think...I can't do it. It's like, I know what field I'll end up in from this degree, but at the same time I don't really want to be doing it, because it's so trivial to NOT fail. Everyone depends on you to make the right decision every single second. And knowing myself, if I think I'm going to fail, I'll be stressed to the max, like just now when I had to resort to calling home and talk to parents. I really like this course, I really do, but I just can't see myself applying it in work life especially related to business sector, which we all know that we'll end up being in eventually unless you've been leaning towards arts and service sector. Maybe.
In all cases, I just know that I have to be in there, and I don't know if I can make it. I don't even know what position I'll get into, because what I can supposedly do covers too many areas. It's not like how Big Sis can get an immediate job with being pharmacist, there's very little choice. Big Bro does properties, how difficult can it be to find a job related to that. Computer Science and IT? With all the programming and databases and IT and whatnot, what do I choose? Most importantly, what am I GOOD at? I'm just averaging everything, I don't think I'm particularly good at anything, seriously.
I just want to study. Research. But there's no good money in it as my parents hope for. I'm always trying to live up to their expectations. I'm always trying to live up to the world's expectations where the fittest survives. No wonder I'm stressed.
Sometimes I wonder where my youth went.
Because whenever I think of "work", I think...I can't do it. It's like, I know what field I'll end up in from this degree, but at the same time I don't really want to be doing it, because it's so trivial to NOT fail. Everyone depends on you to make the right decision every single second. And knowing myself, if I think I'm going to fail, I'll be stressed to the max, like just now when I had to resort to calling home and talk to parents. I really like this course, I really do, but I just can't see myself applying it in work life especially related to business sector, which we all know that we'll end up being in eventually unless you've been leaning towards arts and service sector. Maybe.
In all cases, I just know that I have to be in there, and I don't know if I can make it. I don't even know what position I'll get into, because what I can supposedly do covers too many areas. It's not like how Big Sis can get an immediate job with being pharmacist, there's very little choice. Big Bro does properties, how difficult can it be to find a job related to that. Computer Science and IT? With all the programming and databases and IT and whatnot, what do I choose? Most importantly, what am I GOOD at? I'm just averaging everything, I don't think I'm particularly good at anything, seriously.
I just want to study. Research. But there's no good money in it as my parents hope for. I'm always trying to live up to their expectations. I'm always trying to live up to the world's expectations where the fittest survives. No wonder I'm stressed.
Sometimes I wonder where my youth went.