546: Shoes, babies, and wonderful things (a blogger copy)
Today at work I was thinking about shoes. Which isn't really a stretch since I work at Payless. There was an older woman in, and I watched her as she picked out one of the plainest, ugliest shoes we carry and immediately walked up to the register to pay for them. "Why," I thought to myself, "would anyone want those shoes?" I suppose that they are comfortable. I suppose black does go with everything. I suppose seventy year old feet need much more support than my twenty two year old feet. But, I thought after considering those facts, I love shoes. I love gorgeous shoes. I love colorful shoes. High heels, flats, wedges, flip flops, sneakers, you name it, I love it. And I sincerely hope that when I am old and gray, wrinkled from head to toe and forgetting my children's names that I will not feel the need to wear the plain ugly shoes. I hope I look back on this day and think, "No, I cannot get these, my past self would be horrified by these." And instead I'll buy the impractical bright pink pumps and wear them with a smile.
Today I also got the undeniable urge to have a baby. Which is scary. I mean, I love babies. I want a few... eventually. But what is this sudden urge all about? I mean, sure, a customer had a baby wither her, but thats no reason to get all baby crazy at 22. Then I remembered that my best friend is getting married in a little over a month. My best friend who is only eight months older than I am. My best friend who plans to have babies shortly after. Oh. Thats why. Because in my crazy thoughts I'm falling behind. Even though its crazy to think that you're falling behind by not being married and having babies at 22, my subconscious isn't aware of that fact. It sees my best friend, the girl I've known for nine years, doing one thing and it says, "Why am I not doing the same?" Because its crazy, I tell it back. Because you are ONLY 22. Because you have plenty of time to worry about mortgages and diapers and that youre mother-in-law is coming to visit so you need to make the house sparkle. Because all you should be worrying about is getting through college and writing a paper and doing all of the wonderful things that seem to be gone in a flash once you are married and having babies. I tell myself all of this, and then I can relax. I have time, I am not an old maid. I will find someone eventually and have babies and a mortgage and there will probably be times that I go on cleaning sprees for an impending mother-in-law visit. I'm not even close to having to worry about this. When I think of it this way, I feel better, and even my subconscious settles down and realizes that there is plenty of time for thoughts about getting married and having babies. I will be happy for my friend. Her wedding will be amazing, she'll have beautiful babies, and a wonderful life. I'll get there eventually....
Today I also got the undeniable urge to have a baby. Which is scary. I mean, I love babies. I want a few... eventually. But what is this sudden urge all about? I mean, sure, a customer had a baby wither her, but thats no reason to get all baby crazy at 22. Then I remembered that my best friend is getting married in a little over a month. My best friend who is only eight months older than I am. My best friend who plans to have babies shortly after. Oh. Thats why. Because in my crazy thoughts I'm falling behind. Even though its crazy to think that you're falling behind by not being married and having babies at 22, my subconscious isn't aware of that fact. It sees my best friend, the girl I've known for nine years, doing one thing and it says, "Why am I not doing the same?" Because its crazy, I tell it back. Because you are ONLY 22. Because you have plenty of time to worry about mortgages and diapers and that youre mother-in-law is coming to visit so you need to make the house sparkle. Because all you should be worrying about is getting through college and writing a paper and doing all of the wonderful things that seem to be gone in a flash once you are married and having babies. I tell myself all of this, and then I can relax. I have time, I am not an old maid. I will find someone eventually and have babies and a mortgage and there will probably be times that I go on cleaning sprees for an impending mother-in-law visit. I'm not even close to having to worry about this. When I think of it this way, I feel better, and even my subconscious settles down and realizes that there is plenty of time for thoughts about getting married and having babies. I will be happy for my friend. Her wedding will be amazing, she'll have beautiful babies, and a wonderful life. I'll get there eventually....