(no subject)
Schools out.
Life is decent.
Got 2 B's, 2 C's and an A. woo.
Getting annoyed with someone who i see a lot. Not sure how to deal with it because i really have no place to say anything to her. So i am forced to be all passive aggressive, which is very unlike me. So it's kind of like walking on egg shells. Weird.
J and i are not going to have much of a future i believe. He loves me, this i know. I also know he doesn't want to get rid of me anytime soon. But i also know that our relationship has reach the point where it cannot grow anymore. Like he won't commit to me, and just me. However he sees no problem with me forgiving all other men and just being with him. Only problem i see with this is that i see nothing in it for me if i am not going to receive the same level of commitment from him. I love him, i don't want to loose him. But if we are going to be together, i need more. I need commitment. I have dreams and i have all these thoughts of a life together with him...... but i know it won't happen. And worst thing is i don't know how, or even if i want to end it. He is everything i have ever looked for in another human being. I feel so much better when I am around him. I feel head over heels for someone so bad for me that i am willing to ignore it. Which is probably worse. Ugh.
I want to make my summer memorable and i want it to mean something. At the rate it's going i don't know if it will be. But i'm working on it.
I found an apartment. I love it to death. haha. i just hope i will get it. :)
I need life to make sense damnit. haha.
My goal next semester is to try and make deans list. Here's hopin!
Life is decent.
Got 2 B's, 2 C's and an A. woo.
Getting annoyed with someone who i see a lot. Not sure how to deal with it because i really have no place to say anything to her. So i am forced to be all passive aggressive, which is very unlike me. So it's kind of like walking on egg shells. Weird.
J and i are not going to have much of a future i believe. He loves me, this i know. I also know he doesn't want to get rid of me anytime soon. But i also know that our relationship has reach the point where it cannot grow anymore. Like he won't commit to me, and just me. However he sees no problem with me forgiving all other men and just being with him. Only problem i see with this is that i see nothing in it for me if i am not going to receive the same level of commitment from him. I love him, i don't want to loose him. But if we are going to be together, i need more. I need commitment. I have dreams and i have all these thoughts of a life together with him...... but i know it won't happen. And worst thing is i don't know how, or even if i want to end it. He is everything i have ever looked for in another human being. I feel so much better when I am around him. I feel head over heels for someone so bad for me that i am willing to ignore it. Which is probably worse. Ugh.
I want to make my summer memorable and i want it to mean something. At the rate it's going i don't know if it will be. But i'm working on it.
I found an apartment. I love it to death. haha. i just hope i will get it. :)
I need life to make sense damnit. haha.
My goal next semester is to try and make deans list. Here's hopin!