I hope this doesn't turn into a saga
So we got a message from Kirk's Aunt Heather this week. This is the Aunt that neither him nor Alyson, his mum, talk to for various reasons. I had never had any contact with her for the obvious reasons so therefore had decided I would be neutral until I knew anything about her from personal experience. Well now I am no longer neutral. This is the message kirk got:
"hi Kirk, I am sorry to send a message via Fb but have no other recourse. Your Grandpa is not well, as I am sure you know and I think it would mean a lot to both of them that they hear from you, and maybe see the wedding photos. Alyson has cut me out of her life which has had consequences for everyone, but this is not Mum & Dad's fault and it has left them deeply unhappy and confused of course. Dad was not well unough to travel and Mum not confident enough to go on her own so the whole thing was very difficult, quite apart from their feelings.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to understand this and to let them back in a little - before it is too late. Yes, emotional but also true and this is for them, not me. "
She got this reply from me:
"Heather, this is Sally, Kirk's wife. Just because neither Alyson nor Kirk will talk to you does not mean that we do not speak to your mother and father so I think you are misinformed. They have seen wedding pictures as far as we are aware from both Alyson and Robyn. We understood that they could not travel for the wedding, this was understood from the start of planning and we invited them because it was right even though we knew they could not make it. As far as we are aware they have seen pictures but because we are on a very limited income we cannot afford to print a copy of every picture. My parents have some printed and if we had been asked we would have been very happy to ask them to send copies. We have sent them a CD ROM of our own pictures as all pictures taken at the wedding were in a digital format.
We have not cut them out of our lives, infact the only person out of the picture is you. I had no opinions on you but you have upset both Kirk and Alyson by contacting Michael to ask for pictures. If you wanted pictures of our wedding you may have asked me and you may have gotten them but now I am much less inclined to. They way you have handled this is poorly, the way you come accross to me, as an impartial person is that you are trying to coerce my husband into sending you pictures, not for his grandparents at all. If you wish to perisit in pushing this matter contact me directly, kindly do not contact my husband again as he doesn't wish to have anything to do with you.
Sally Ross"
Not only that but Alyson rang her parents to for a chat and they mentioned Heather in passing so Alyson asked them if what Heather had said was true and they said no, they had seen lots of wedding photos, not only the ones we sent but also ones from Robyn, Kirk's other Aunt. They also knew we had wanted to go see them for a while but knew it was difficult for all of us to do so and where happy that we phone them every now and then, they don't feel abandonned at all.
Before this Heather had send a message to Michael and Anita, Kirks dad and stepmum asking for wedding photos from them and they asked us and we told them to say no, then she sent the guilt trip message to Kirk, which is filled with untruths.
Not only has she annoye me, Kirk and Alyson but Heather has also managed to upset her own parents by doing this. Infact they are very confused as to why she has said some of the things she has said and it has upset them.
It was needless and pointless, why did she lie when she just wanted pictures for herself, she should have just said and then maybe she would have gotten them but instead she lied. She has not endeared herself to me at all. I just hope this doesn't turn into a saga.
"hi Kirk, I am sorry to send a message via Fb but have no other recourse. Your Grandpa is not well, as I am sure you know and I think it would mean a lot to both of them that they hear from you, and maybe see the wedding photos. Alyson has cut me out of her life which has had consequences for everyone, but this is not Mum & Dad's fault and it has left them deeply unhappy and confused of course. Dad was not well unough to travel and Mum not confident enough to go on her own so the whole thing was very difficult, quite apart from their feelings.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to understand this and to let them back in a little - before it is too late. Yes, emotional but also true and this is for them, not me. "
She got this reply from me:
"Heather, this is Sally, Kirk's wife. Just because neither Alyson nor Kirk will talk to you does not mean that we do not speak to your mother and father so I think you are misinformed. They have seen wedding pictures as far as we are aware from both Alyson and Robyn. We understood that they could not travel for the wedding, this was understood from the start of planning and we invited them because it was right even though we knew they could not make it. As far as we are aware they have seen pictures but because we are on a very limited income we cannot afford to print a copy of every picture. My parents have some printed and if we had been asked we would have been very happy to ask them to send copies. We have sent them a CD ROM of our own pictures as all pictures taken at the wedding were in a digital format.
We have not cut them out of our lives, infact the only person out of the picture is you. I had no opinions on you but you have upset both Kirk and Alyson by contacting Michael to ask for pictures. If you wanted pictures of our wedding you may have asked me and you may have gotten them but now I am much less inclined to. They way you have handled this is poorly, the way you come accross to me, as an impartial person is that you are trying to coerce my husband into sending you pictures, not for his grandparents at all. If you wish to perisit in pushing this matter contact me directly, kindly do not contact my husband again as he doesn't wish to have anything to do with you.
Sally Ross"
Not only that but Alyson rang her parents to for a chat and they mentioned Heather in passing so Alyson asked them if what Heather had said was true and they said no, they had seen lots of wedding photos, not only the ones we sent but also ones from Robyn, Kirk's other Aunt. They also knew we had wanted to go see them for a while but knew it was difficult for all of us to do so and where happy that we phone them every now and then, they don't feel abandonned at all.
Before this Heather had send a message to Michael and Anita, Kirks dad and stepmum asking for wedding photos from them and they asked us and we told them to say no, then she sent the guilt trip message to Kirk, which is filled with untruths.
Not only has she annoye me, Kirk and Alyson but Heather has also managed to upset her own parents by doing this. Infact they are very confused as to why she has said some of the things she has said and it has upset them.
It was needless and pointless, why did she lie when she just wanted pictures for herself, she should have just said and then maybe she would have gotten them but instead she lied. She has not endeared herself to me at all. I just hope this doesn't turn into a saga.