(no subject)
people are weird and they suck. more of them are weird but a lot of them suck too.
i'm scared that i'm not a very good sister. i think i'm an okay sister to my sisters, but not that great with my brothers. had dinner with karissa and kris and altaire and josh last night. it was really nice but i felt really out of place. especially when i was the only one that couldn't order a drink. josh didn't drink 'cause he had to drive back to his job in napa and that was nice not to be the only one who orders soda instead of beer. but they're all so much more connected than i am. when i'm around all of them together i feel like a loner and a loser. and very very young. and i try to use the big age difference as an excuse, but altaire isn't that much older than me and she seems so much closer to them. i just have nothing in common with them. i love them and they are amazing. i mean, josh dropped out of high school and now owns his own business that has over $1 million worth of jobs lined up in like the next 8 months. talk about sucessful.and he's got a wife and a bunch of kids that he loves to death and they love him back. and they haven't known him as long as i have. i should be able to hold a real conversation with him for more than five minutes.
but i can't. i keep trying, and i fail.
i'm scared that i'm not a very good sister. i think i'm an okay sister to my sisters, but not that great with my brothers. had dinner with karissa and kris and altaire and josh last night. it was really nice but i felt really out of place. especially when i was the only one that couldn't order a drink. josh didn't drink 'cause he had to drive back to his job in napa and that was nice not to be the only one who orders soda instead of beer. but they're all so much more connected than i am. when i'm around all of them together i feel like a loner and a loser. and very very young. and i try to use the big age difference as an excuse, but altaire isn't that much older than me and she seems so much closer to them. i just have nothing in common with them. i love them and they are amazing. i mean, josh dropped out of high school and now owns his own business that has over $1 million worth of jobs lined up in like the next 8 months. talk about sucessful.and he's got a wife and a bunch of kids that he loves to death and they love him back. and they haven't known him as long as i have. i should be able to hold a real conversation with him for more than five minutes.
but i can't. i keep trying, and i fail.