I won't say one parenting style versus the other is right, but your daughters have a lot of adjusting to do in a very short amount of time when switching households. It's hard on a little kid, ya know? :(
Can you imagine being a kid and being told that you need to change your clothes becuase they are too nice to wear to your dad's house, or becuase your dad is picking you up that day you can't wear them that day?
What does that say to a child?
What does that say about the kind of person that parent is?
To prize an article of clothing above the feelings of your child - that's not simply parenting style.
In dual home environments with turmoil, I think children often will say what they think the parent wants to hear in order to get what they perceive to be the most love, reward, "fun," etc.
Is it possible Aurora's mother's only reason was that the clothes were too nice? Maybe. Do the children wear their nice clothes you've bought them back to their mother's house? *shrug* Do they have nice clothes at your house? *shrug*
Have you TRULY been able to identify the reason she wasn't able to wear those clothes? The "blah blah blah blah" quote says to me that Aurora didn't reiterate the true explanation. It says to me that she's testing the waters to see how much slack or sway she can get
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The fact that you won't stand behind your words makes them less valuable - to me and to everyone.
Anonymous Coward.
And yes, I have been able to identify the reason, it's that Alli won't let them leave the house. I've talked with her about it, explained in painful detail how it affects the girls and I've received a deaf ear.
Making your child change just so you can control where specific clothes they own is putting the cart before the horse. Don't be stupid - it's a shitty thing to do and a shitty thing to experience as a child. There's no excuse for it.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, will erase that my darling children now have a memory, many of them in fact, of her mother disregarding her feelings so that she can control where articles of clothing that won't matter in 6 months go.
What better way to say I don't care about you as much as I care about an intimate object.
It's like she wants them to be less happy here and anything she can do, including making them less comfortable, she'll do.
I would ask you to take ownership of that interpretation - If you read through this entire thread top to bottom you'd see my only concern is how this affects the kids
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What does that say to a child?
What does that say about the kind of person that parent is?
To prize an article of clothing above the feelings of your child - that's not simply parenting style.
Reply
Is it possible Aurora's mother's only reason was that the clothes were too nice? Maybe. Do the children wear their nice clothes you've bought them back to their mother's house? *shrug* Do they have nice clothes at your house? *shrug*
Have you TRULY been able to identify the reason she wasn't able to wear those clothes? The "blah blah blah blah" quote says to me that Aurora didn't reiterate the true explanation. It says to me that she's testing the waters to see how much slack or sway she can get ( ... )
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Anonymous Coward.
And yes, I have been able to identify the reason, it's that Alli won't let them leave the house. I've talked with her about it, explained in painful detail how it affects the girls and I've received a deaf ear.
Making your child change just so you can control where specific clothes they own is putting the cart before the horse. Don't be stupid - it's a shitty thing to do and a shitty thing to experience as a child. There's no excuse for it.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, will erase that my darling children now have a memory, many of them in fact, of her mother disregarding her feelings so that she can control where articles of clothing that won't matter in 6 months go.
What better way to say I don't care about you as much as I care about an intimate object.
It's like she wants them to be less happy here and anything she can do, including making them less comfortable, she'll do.
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I do not believe that either of you would be so malicious in regards to your daughters.
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You seem more than willing to help your children to hate their mother as much as you do. I find that very sad.
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