The paradox and other human mysteries

[angelnova]

Usually I have too many rants about how people just frustrate, anger, upset, confused, etc me... And then I learned from watching my boss at work that if you close yourself off by having too high of standards for people, you'll just be let down over and over again, just falling further down that dark hole

Comments

[happynadia]

I have high standards on people who I chose to become my friends. But I also give everyone equal opportunity to show whether or not they can live up to those standards. Those who don't live up to those standards I don't fall out with, they just become more like aquantainces (don't mistake that for close friends I have just lost touch with). I'm very forgiving to people for not being perfect. Would you even live up to your own standards 100% of the time? To tell you the truth I feel like Matt and I have been taken advantage of after reading this post. We took Dippy in willing to keep her for however long it took for you to situate things with your apt complex. She was decently behaved as long as we gave her about 5 hours of attention a day which was just not possible every day with our personal needs. So when we just couldn't give her hours upon hours of attention she would rip things up. She ripped up a total of about $30 to $50 worth of stuff (on top of hours of work Matt put into setting up the drain pipe that Dippy dug up) that we will not replace simply because we cannot afford to. I only called saying we could not keep her after she had ran out of dog food (we still fed her) and she started getting into the chemicals (probably because she chewed up everything else) making us have to crate her so she wouldn't kill herself. We didn't and still don't have any intention of you and Justin repaying us because we consider you our friends. I know you and Justin had no intention of dumping her on us but this post is still very hurtful. You make it seem like no one ever does anything for you because they're your friend. You didn't say that outright, but that was the connotation I recieved. Like you haven't made a right choice since grade school. Like Matt and I were a wrong choice. If you don't think I'm a good enough friend for you I won't fall out with you on that. But I did care and I tried to help when I could. This may sound mean but I'm being honest when I say this: I have no pity for you in this situation. It seems like you are making yourself a victim. I had no pity for Matt either when he made himself a victim. Only Heather can make Heather a victim, no one else. Only Heather has the power to make Heather not be a victim any more, no one else.

[angelnova]

Taken advantage of? We were under the impression that you were going to take her indefinately.

We were willing to pay for dog food, but we had hoped you would tell us BEFORE she ran out. And POPCORN?!?!?! What the HELL were you thinking? She threw up in the car and it was whole kernals. WTF?? You tell me all the time about how I don't treat my animals right and you feed a dog popcorn. Nice logic.

And if you really had no intention of asking us to pay for her damages, then why do you keep mentioning how much it was, over and over and over? And then pat yourself on the back for not asking for it. What a good person you are. BTW, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason she ripped up your drain pipe out of the ground is because you let her play with that piece of pipe.

You always say that people give up too easily on animals that have "behavioral" problems, and you couldn't even last 2 weeks? What does that say about you? And it wasn't even a "Hey, I can't handle this - can you maybe speed up finding her a home?". It was a "come get this dog now, we hate her because she destroyed $30 worth of stuff". Thanks for the warning.

But on a side note, since we are being honest here, you think I'm acting ungrateful? Try inviting someone somewhere to have fun, such as Ren. fest for example, and listen to them complain the entire time. Yeah, that's how I want to spend my day off. Your attitude has changed lately, and frankly, it sucks. You insult everyone around you, boss them around, and get mad for seemingly no reason at all. It's pushing people away.

And since we're on the subject of making oneself a victim, stop your "I have no money" pity party. It's getting old. Use the advice you gave that homeless man on MARTA - "Get a job. Wal-mart's hiring."

[angelnova]

BTW, the only reference to you in that post was asking was it too much for a considerate friend - the rest of it wasn't about you at all.