I feel like I'm living a book.
I just finished reading "Weetzie Bat" and I keep thinking about things that I see and do in time with that book. The way that she writes is just amazing, with such exotic and descriptive words, I just hava just fallen in love with her book. Dani was right, I do love Dirk and Duck, and I also love the one book that I read before that Baby Be-Bop, about Dirk. I don't know if Dani's read it or not but still, I love it too much.
It has really made me think today, that and cleaning, for some reason, I like to think while I clean. But I wish that I lived in a fairy tale, that I could wish for things and that I had a great exotic dream to help me through the harsh parts of my life, and that I could use that dream to float through my life, and not have to worry, but if I do worry, it'll be about small things, and that I'll have a wild and hapy life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want more than just a husband and two kids and a middle class job. I want to be sure that I'll be happy, and not bored.
In short, I don't want to become my parents I guess.
Is that bad? I mean I truly love them, and I don't know what I would do if they died, but I still don't want their lives, I want something more than that, I want my children to know that thye are special and have a life that's exotic and free, an not normal and boring. I want them to feel like faeries and princes and to feel like they have something special. I just want to be free from what America, or even the world considers to be an average home life.
I don't even know if I can express what I really want to be, or who I want to be, or who I want it to be with. I suppose the person that I love wouldn't fit in with all that, but maybe that's part of the exotic life, now knowing who I wantto love, and to just let it happen.
Now I feel like I'm stereotyping the life that I want. I don't know what I want, I just want for it to be free, I guess.
I wonder how many people can walk around and say all they want is to live in a dream.
What ever dream it is, I hope that I never wake up from it.
It has really made me think today, that and cleaning, for some reason, I like to think while I clean. But I wish that I lived in a fairy tale, that I could wish for things and that I had a great exotic dream to help me through the harsh parts of my life, and that I could use that dream to float through my life, and not have to worry, but if I do worry, it'll be about small things, and that I'll have a wild and hapy life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want more than just a husband and two kids and a middle class job. I want to be sure that I'll be happy, and not bored.
In short, I don't want to become my parents I guess.
Is that bad? I mean I truly love them, and I don't know what I would do if they died, but I still don't want their lives, I want something more than that, I want my children to know that thye are special and have a life that's exotic and free, an not normal and boring. I want them to feel like faeries and princes and to feel like they have something special. I just want to be free from what America, or even the world considers to be an average home life.
I don't even know if I can express what I really want to be, or who I want to be, or who I want it to be with. I suppose the person that I love wouldn't fit in with all that, but maybe that's part of the exotic life, now knowing who I wantto love, and to just let it happen.
Now I feel like I'm stereotyping the life that I want. I don't know what I want, I just want for it to be free, I guess.
I wonder how many people can walk around and say all they want is to live in a dream.
What ever dream it is, I hope that I never wake up from it.